Khloe Kardashian

Khloe Kardashian Prompts Us To Give Thanks for the Less Blessed Sister

You did not see this one coming.

Today, we are thankful for the Khloe Kardashian. Not, this is not a fire-lit tribute to keep Kong from trampling our village and ravaging our crops, though now that you mention it, that's not a bad idea. This is gratitude for the ungainly sized sister who reminds us all that for all the attempts of the Kardashian mafia to control their image of 'perfection', nature can not be denied its indiscriminate hammer with which it smashes those who deem themselves flawless in public.

Seen here in a Elle photoshoot for their eponymous and enriching clothing line, the Kardashian Kollection, surely the fashion choice of Beelzebub himself, the three sisters remind us that when the apocalypse arrives, it won't be commenced by the arrival of the Four Horsemen, rather, two starving sisters from Calabasas mounted upon their sisterly steed.

The Frontside of the Three Horsewomen of the Apocalypse

Seen

Shop Til You Pop

Coco goes shopping with her cleavage. (SocialiteLife)

The hottest Playboy cover girls. (FoxNews)

Emmy Rossum gets ready for the holidays. (GossipCenter)

Khloe Kardashian X-rated birthday gift. (TMZ)

Jennifer Lopez classes things up. (LaineyGossip)

These girls are wanted for first degree hotness. (TheChive)

Olivia Wilde shows off her asstastic. (Popoholic)

Black Magic

Julianne Hough flashes some sweet cleavage. (Celebuzz)

Emma Watson, natural hottie. (HuffPo)

Kourtney, Khloe and Kim Kardashian each get Lucky. (FoxNews)

Birthday girl, Kate Winslet, hottest movie scenes. (Celebuzz)

Meet the Israeli Snookie. (TMZ)

Lara Stone sexy bondage pictures. (DrunkenStepfather)

Zooey Deschanel is definitely not a robot sent to destroy the human race. (CollegeHumor)

Born to Pimp: The Kardashian Sisters Start Vacuuming Dollars Out of Sears Customers

The Kardashian Kollection at Sears shows the limitless possibilities of combining four of the seven Deadly Sins with a hungry staff of foreign sweatshop labor.

Kourtney, Khloe and Kim Kardashian Pose in Their New Lingerie Line for Sears

Oh, where to begin when the Gorgons get together for a Sears lingerie photoshoot.

It's rare to see all three Kardashian sisters together for any cause, short of a staged wedding, or a bloody hit on a rival reality show family; Kim Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian have been out and about New York City lately, pretending to run a business for the cameras, but typically Khloe Kardashian remains shackled in the sub-basement of the Calabasas compound during 'R' ending months, when red tide leaves the Khloe feeling a bit blue. Well, somebody released the Kraken for this 3-in-1 lingerie photoshoot for Sears (and, btw, I double dog dare you to buy your significant other lingerie from Sears next Valentine's Day, see how much nookie that gets you).

Take a moment to process your feelings. And, enjoy.

Celebrity Guests Fleeing from Kardashian Wedding

Apparently, once word got out that Kris Jenner was flipping the switch to 'cash bar' at the Kim Kardashian and that other dude's wedding, celebrities began to flee in droves. A pretty hot looking Ciara seemed to have left by herself, a snookered Lindsay Lohan desperately tried not to hurl on her five-finger discounted diamonds, Demi Lovato appeared rather chipper, and even Khloe Kardashian peeled away, desperate to find a still open Black Angus, with her younger hottie hostage half-sister, Kendall Jenner in tow

(Don't forget to like our Free Kendall Jenner page on Facebook as we gear up for an upcoming rescue attempt of the still salvageable young lass.)

You may take note of the lack of color among the guests at the wedding, as a black and white only dress code was strictly enforced, which I think is a failure of this reboot, because in the original Godfather, they let Mama wear pink. Enjoy.

Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner Uber-Cuteness Summer Bikini Party Candids

While we never received our invitations to the party (lost in the mail, no doubt), the future Kardashian hotties, Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner held a bikini party for the 4th of July and, well, we were happy just to get the party photos. As you know, the younger Jenners will eventually be upgrading the entire Kardashian family line with model-like qualities of height, versatility, and a perfectly pat answer to the question of how to obtain world peace. But, for now, just a bunch of fun loving teen girls hanging out in bikinis and roasting some weenies over the summer holiday. Enjoy.

Click HERE for the complete set of Kendall and Kylie 4th of July bikini pictures.

Kylie Jenner Hangs Out on the Beach in Her BikiniOh, by the way, as long as we're going sweetest taboo here today, we've ordered up some brand new Kylie Jenner bikini pictures fresh from the beaches of Malibu. Check 'em out, explorers. (And don't forget to Join Us on our Egotastic! Facebook page for all the slightly inappropriate Kardashian family talk.)