Standin’ in front just shakin’ your ass.
Take you back stage you can drink from my glass.
(Eff me, I’m quoting Aerosmith, I might need a vacation.)
I’m not exactly sure why Kendra Wilkinson was in the viewing platform on the 88th floor of the Empire State Building, maybe she was throwing pennies down to her husband on the street holding her purse, but there she was, posing and preening and flashing her cans for some kind of ode to the Big Apple by way of her own apples.
We still badly miss the old Kendra. The one who took her clothes off and shook her lady parts for the cameras. We may never see that again, but we’ve got a year or maybe too more of still ogling her curvaceous form before we lose interest. Enjoy.
Spike TV ‘Guys Choice Awards’ takes it about half-way. That is, we get to see a whole bunch of celebrity hotties every join lined up on the red carpet and attending the award show for looking babe-a-licious, but, of course, if guys really had their choice, these sextastic celebrities would be nekkid and laying across a possum skinned rug (sorry, but I happen to love bears, while possums, yeah, I could skin a few of those and sleep at night, nasty varmints).
This year’s list of Guy’s Choice Awards sweet and delicious included underrated comedic actress Malin Akerman who posed sexy with the innocently alluring Julianne Hough, the ever desirable MILFtastic Kate Beckinsale, minxy Kristen Bell, cleavy Brooke Hogan, and Kendra Wilkinson, who I think people invite to these events now just to watch her husband hold her purse awkwardly in the background. Still, all in all, quite a collection of female locker room fantasy goodness. Now, about all those clothes… enjoy.
I remember back in third grade this rather noticeably short newer kid in school, Nix Bickerby, announced that he was no longer going to be short. He was now tall. It all seemed kind of staged, like some kind of speech prepared by his little kid mental health counselor, but he said it with such conviction, that is took the rest of us quite by surprise, and for like three minutes or so of suspended reality, we all thought Nix was tall.
It must have been a glorious brief moment in time for him, right before we picked him up and tossed him in the trash can, on Sloppy Joe day no less. The point is, you can be anything you want to be in this life, the real trick is trying to convince others of the same.
At some point, Kendra Wilkinson decided to make herself over from trashy topless Playboy party and former stripper girl into wife and mom and advice giver to millions of women who suddenly forgot all about that previous stuff that we personally loved her for. Since we never judged her for her former life, we totally and completely reserve the right to mock her current state of being. And mostly just because we miss her sweet petite nekkid body. The tease of which she flashed in Miami over the weekend in a see-through thingee over her bikini while filming her reality show, ‘The Totally Fake Kendra’ or something like that I think.
And speaking of totally fake, man how we miss Kendra’s skin shows. Enjoy.
Of course, just a couple or three years ago, you couldn’t pay Kendra Wilkinson to keep her top on.
The Girls Next Door erudite spent the better part of the first four barely legal years inflating her tubes, then exhibiting them to the world by way of television and magazines and the occasional leaked sex tape. Then, she met Hank, the NFL receiver turned ultimate purse holder, and her world change. Clothes went on, stripping shows ended, and soon enough How to Be an Awesome Mommy and I’ve Overcome Lots of Shit Only Hot Busty Girls Know About books started hitting the book stores where Kendra had never spent a day in her life and suddenly she was the advice giving wife and mom. And, the funbags were put in the closet.
But, as we all must ultimately confront our own predetermined destinies, so must Kendra’s bosom be freed enough for exhibitionist satiation. Their fate is to be paraded, displayed, and ultimately golden-showered by whoever the next, richer husband ends up being. So the Kendra cleavetastic was back on display this past Friday at the Playhouse Nightclub where Kendra brought out the little black dress and the big flesh-colored lanterns. And all we can say is, ‘Hello again, old friends’. Enjoy.
It’s been a while since we last saw our good and fun little Playmate hottie, Kendra Wilkinson. Not much since she converted her former stripper and sex tape life into one of family, kids, and books on how to be really totally awesome at the latter. We don’t go much, for those conversions, and even if we believed in their sincerity, we’d still be disappointed in the loss of the fun times we used to have. Kind of like Kendra’s husband, Hank Baskett, the former NFL player now turned early unemployed purse holder for his celebrity wife. We all preferred what came before with Kendra, bare boobtastic and g-string flashes, alas, time marches on.
So color us some shades of surprised when we spotted Kendra back on the market, pimping her body swimsuit and ridiculously cleavy red-carpet style for Wet Republic in Vegas. Pimping brings out the best in all of us, but it brings out things worth ogling in sexy celebrities with knockers even more so. Enjoy.