Kelly Brook

Kelly Brook Bikini Pictures Drop Curvaceous Hotness on the Beach in Miami

Well, hello there, hot curvy British delight Kelly Brook come to our humble shores to bless us with a good bit of your bikini hotness. It's about time Kelly got her two piece and brought her sweet sextastic body over to our land for a little visual wonderment display time. Of course, she did also being her muscle-bound new boytoy along, but he was easily confused by the sound of whistles and shiny objects allowing Kelly several minutes of alone time in our ogling clutches.

You can't expect a girl like Kelly to stay single for very long. She's rather, what you might call, desirable to the millionth degree. The best you can hope for is to catch her in those brief instances between boyfriends when she needs a shoulder to cry on, or perhaps somebody to help her tie her bikini top. I'm ready for either, Kelly. I sit at the ready. Enjoy.

Kelly Brook See-Through Top and Panties Flashing Signals Serious Drool Time on the Red Carpet

If this sheer black braless top thing is going to become the latest craze for our most sextastic celebrities, then I'm going to switch from Cocoa Puffs to Special K, because I want to keep on living to see this.

Yesterday, Carmen Electra flashing her bare bazoongas beneath a see-through black dress top, today it's Kelly Brook with the mix of sheer cloth and bright red carpet lights at the British National Television Awards that led to this quite fetching sight. We've lusted Kelly Brook since first we saw her bodacious form, and that passion has only grown through the years. This sight of Kelly's award winning yams hardly concealed beneath her top, and her flashing of leg and her undergarments beneath her slit dress, well, invoke emergency protocol 71 and lay down the plastic sheeting. Daddy's coming home! Enjoy.

Kelly Brook Flashes Big Cleavage for the Big 3-4

Somehow, our invite to the Kelly Brook birthday party in London over the weekend got lost in the mail. I blame the Transatlantic post and send my personal regrets for missing out on the celebration of thirty-four wonderful birthday candles on the cake of our delicious Britty brunette. Kelly Brook curves have caused us so much joy through the years, well, heck, she decided to put her newly single rack on fresh display for her own damn birthday. What a gal.

I'm mostly disappointed that I won't be able to deliver my birthday present to Kelly in person. And I'm certainly not about to try to figure out how to ship a motorboat via UPS. Kelly, I'm so ready to snoggle. Call me on one of those British phones with the silly ringers. Enjoy.

Kelly Brook Is Single and Inducing Tingles on the Pages of FHM

Ever since Kelly Brook announced she was ditching her boyfriend, my antennae went up (yes, that is an antenna and I'm damn glad to meet you) as to her sextastic availability. While I'm not so sure dating is precisely an option at this time, ogling seems to be going better than ever in relation to this curvaceous brunette bombshell.

Featured on the pages of FHM France this month, Kelly shows why she has all the tools to be the perfect girlfriend. Namely, she looks amazing in and out of clothes. And, what else do you need to know, you particular bastard? Kelly, please call me, I'd like to tell you all about the Swiss chalet I'm renting for the winter holiday. Well, technically, it's a Red Roof Inn mini-suite but I can stock it with Swiss Miss Hot Cocoa to provide us sustenance during our long rounds of butter-covered slippery making of the sexy. Yes, I'll tip the maid for the extra cleanup. Enjoy.

Kelly Brook Bodacious Booty in Stretch Pants Greets Los Angeles

Kelly Brook didn't tell me formally, but, thankfully, my Kelly Brook booty alert early warning system triggered the moment Kelly landed at LAX for an extended stay in our fair city. This got me ready to imagine all sort of Kelly Brook fun time tourist type stops, like, Disneyland or the Santa Monica Pier or the bedroom of my apartment where I finally changed the sheets just in case. B

ut, Kelly chose to ignore my hospitable invite for the time being to strap on some stretch pants and get in a little exercise slash big round bottom exhibition time in the streets of our fair burgh. It was quite the show. Wooty always rouses me from my morning fog, like rays of sextastic sunlight powering up my hungover synapses.

Bless you, stretch pants. Bless you, Kelly Brook. I'm making Ramen again tonight, Kelly. Call me, I'll send a car. My buddy Jiff in his '03 Passat. Enjoy.

Kelly Brook Models Her Own Lingerie Line (Because Who Else?)

If you got it, flaunt it. And if you can flaunt it, why not just design your own lingerie line and flaunt it for a piece of the action.

Kelly Brook can do no wrong, not in my book, and not in the minds of New Look lingerie who let her design, model, and pimp the bodacious shizz out of her little silky bras and panties and boudoir apparel. I've already purchased six items. I keep looking for the check off box to purchase Kelly herself, but I can't find it. I'm guessing she's probably higher than the $200 limit on my Diner's Club card regardless.

Still, only 59 shopping days left until Christmas and I'm saving up for Kelly's curves in a simple pair of sheer panties underneath my tree. Hoping against hope. Enjoy.

Kelly Brook, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Jessica Lowndes Dress Up and Show off For Tequila Halloween Party

I'm not exactly sure who Casamigos Tequila is (but, please, send us free samples), but they managed to throw the single biggest celebrity Halloween Party over the weekend. It seemed like all of Hollywood was there, even A-Listers in highly worked out costumes. None of which matter that much to me, not nearly as much as what the hotties would look like dressed up for the biggest exhibitionist holiday of the year.

And, indeed, there was much talent on display. Including heavily belusted Kelly Brook, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Jessica Lowndes, all showing off a little booty and boobtastic in the spirt of the pagan ritual. Far more treat than trick, which makes my personal Jack O'Lantern grin with a lascivious smile. Enjoy.

P.S. The day before the party, V.S. MILFtastic Alessandra Ambrosio hit her daughter's school dressed as a naughty little devil in Daisy Dukes. I won't soil the sanctity of the elementary school Halloween Party by telling you exactly what I'd like to do with sextastic Satan, but suffice it to say, it would send me straight to Hell.