Despite the Scout Willis protest against Instagram for prohibiting beautiful female lady parts, social media remains quite alive and well and full of faptastic wonderments shared by the celebrities themselves. Hot bikinis, exercised booties, cleavage shots, panties shots, yoga posing, it’s all there. It’s like being invited into the sorority house and handed a pair of binoculars and told you can hang out for the day. Okay, it’s not that awesome, but it certainly is close, and you don’t have to hear any songs.
This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes Gisele Bundchen yoga posing , Vanessa Hudgens bikini goodness, Xenia Deli showing off her worked out bottom, Kelly Brook posing in shiny bra and panties, Jen Selter with one wicked hot body, Fox News babe Diana Falzone flashing serious cleavage, Michelle Rodriguez bikini, LeAnn Rimes two piece booty show off, and much much more. You owe it to the unfortunate people who live in the Italian town where Kim and Kanye exchanged vows of fidelity to check out each and every one of these red hot candid social media shares this week. Enjoy.
I’m not really sure what the Cosmo Body Issue is, but I’m ready to embrace it one-hundred percent. More precisely, I’m ready to embrace Kelly Brook embracing her boobtastic bodacious self within the pages of the magazine modeling what appears to be one of her signature line of bikinis for the healthy bosomed woman. And Kelly Brook is nothing is not healthy bosomed.
I’ve longed to nibble on Kelly’s ear lobes since as long as, well, as long as I’ve been using ear lobes as a euphemism for other more fun body parts on a lady. It’s a combination of that killer smile and those wicked funbags, with an emphasis on the latter, that always keeps me yearning for Kelly. Enjoy.
I’m trying to asses if my feelings of passion for Kelly Brook are heightened by her designing her own line of bikini swimwear she’s modeling for New Look. I don’t typically have feelings one way or another for anything fashion, but I am imagining how many times Kelly tried on samples in the mirror to see if her outragrously curvaceous female form fit ever so snugly and barely into the bikinis. Oh, to be a fly on her sugar walls.
Kelly Brook is one of my all-time favorite lady lovable sextastic celebrities. She always seems to have the perfect smile to match her killer soft curves. Her boobtastic alone makes her a winner in my book of deviant thoughts, the idea that she’s designing bikini tops to temporarily cover her chest muffins sort of heightens the tease. Though this could merely be a case of me kissing Kelly’s ass so she’ll finally agree to meet. I’m searching my soul for honesty these days. Enjoy.
I’m not sure why any of the twenty-seven reps for Kelly Brook I’ve tried to contact haven’t gotten back to me yet. All I want is a simple meet and greet with the actress and model while she’s here in Los Angeles. I’ve even offered to be bound and encased like Hannibal Lecter. Just prop me up on a handcart so I can lay my eyes through my metal face guard onto the fine female form of Kelly Brook. Stretch pants and all, please.
Kelly is daily hitting the gym and martial arts centers here in town, keeping her shape shapely but not out of bounds, and testing out my limits of how many pairs of stretch pants I can see her booty in before I go Mentos in Diet Coke reaction. Just so stellar curvy fine. I wish she would drip some of her sweat at my abode. Really, just the sweat and the pheromones I could collect would keep me going for six months. I think I’m starting to see the reason why she’s not calling back. Enjoy.
Be still my rapidly beating heart, as Kelly Brook continues her stretch pants and Spandex tour of Los Angeles’ byways and promenades. This time in stretch pants for a trip to the jiu jitsu center for curvaceous woman wrestling. Oh, to be flipped to the ground beneath Kelly Brook, that is the dream. I mean, I actually had that dream recently.
Kelly Brook, I have to insist you call me so we can pick up some hot dogs and hit the beach. You bring along your security guards and your big buff boyfriend and I’ll bring along my bat spray to knock them all out so we can be alone along the surf munching on our wieners. That didn’t sound right, but you get the idea. Enjoy.
Just the knowledge that Kelly Brook is somewhere in my neighborhood right now in stretch pants has kept me awake for 96 straight hours. I might have nodded off for an hour or two during the Winter Olympic Games, but who hasn’t? Still, my Spidey-senses are firing on all cylinders, the knowing tingle that the bodacious and curvaceous Kelly Brook is within binocular distance has me on edge.
It probably hasn’t eased my suffering that Kelly Brook spent the weekend out and about the local environs, first flashing her camel toe in yoga pants as she hiked nearby, and then moving on to the gym where she kickboxed another buxom lady, I suppose mostly just to test the limits of my passion endurance.
The entire ongoing experience is making my pulse rate fire into the triple digits round the clock. I’m told it’s not super healthy, but if I survive two more days, I should own a new Guinness World Record. Maybe then Kelly will realize how special I am, and finally accept my need to be smothered by her sweaty bosom. Without hope, we are nothing. Enjoy.