End of the work week, good men and women of Egotastic! The four-dollar champagne bottles have been cooled in our NFL All-Stars ice bucket, the Costco franks are on the grill, and we’re taking our first look at the full length version of the Karissa Shannon sex tape. (We’ll have official comments on that project next week). As we begin to settle off into our latter stages of ketone-laced bliss, six-fingered Gretchen brings up the fact that super Brit hottie, Keeley Hazell, remains one of our most requested celebrities, even though she’s been completely off the radar for a couple of years or more now. Everybody wants to know what happened to the super jugtacular Keeley Hazell. We hear tell she moved out to the U.S. to pursue an acting career, maybe met a guy, and maybe settled down. We don’t know for sure.
But, we were reminded of how our hearts soared when the original Keeley Hazell sex tape came about, and although it may not linger long on this here portal, we wanted to share it with you, sort of like a All Points Bulletin for the whereabouts of the fantastically sexy Keeley Hazell, a certain first ballot Hall-of-Hotness-Famer.
Have a great weekend from all your friends at Egotastic!
(NOTE: This is an abridged version of the full sex tape. We removed as much dick-view as possible from the very man-laden original. Bear with the substandard video and audio quality — it’s Keeley Hazell for goodness’ sakes.)
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There was pretty much universal approval on bringing back a little Keeley Hazell classic boobage to Egotastic!, I mean, who would vote against seeing more of a super hot model with amazing, au natural, fun bags? We probably won’t run too many more looks at this now retired pin-up sensation, unless we come across items that demand public viewing. For instance, this lengthy behind the scenes Loaded magazine photoshoot with a lingerie-clad and topless Keeley Hazell. If you’ve got anywhere from 20 seconds to 20 minutes free, this is a must view. Enjoy.
(Some people would call this video not-safe-for-work. I’d ask those people to change jobs.)
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There are a few things I’ve lost in my life that I’m rather happy with having lost. My virginity comes to mind. Also, my girlfriend’s Yorkie. But there are definitely things I regret losing. Somewhere at the top of this list is the boobtastic Keeley Hazell, the Page 3 hottie di tutti hottie who simply disappeared from the face of the Egotastic! planet a couple years ago now. Some say she moved to L.A. to become a legit actress (read as: marry a very wealthy man), some say she’s now negotiating peace between the Tibetans and the Chinese over longstanding territorial rights issues. Really, it could be either. But I miss her in a bad way. So when I came across this Keeley Hazell topless bikini photoshoot video from about the time she disappeared, well, after I wiped away the tears, I just had to watch it, not twice, but thrice. And share with you. Enjoy.
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Bikinis, Page 3
I don’t know what’s brought Keeley Hazell back into the spotlight recently, but whatever it is, I’m glad she’s back. I think she went to Hollywood to try her hand at acting. I’m guessing that didn’t go so well. Too bad. But if that means she’s back in front of the still camera, and posing for super sexy shots like these in Zoo magazine, then her career loss is our gain. Now, if she would just get more Keeley Hazell nude pictures, instead of Keeley Hazell lingerie pictures, that’d be the breast. I mean best.
I’m not a fan of douchey body sprays, because that’s what douchebags wear in lieu of proper cologne. And if they ever do discover cologne, you better believe they wear way too much of it. That being said, these new ads for Lynx body spray, featuring the super sexy Keeley Hazel in lingerie might have me rethinking my position. It’s like those Axe ads. Everyone knew that wearing that awful stuff would not result in every hot girl in the world trying to jump your bones, but there’s that little voice inside that says “maybe it’s true.” There are also those other voices telling you to burn down the post office, but you try to ignore those.
If you liked those Keeley Hazell nude pictures for PETA from a couple weeks back, then you’re going to love the rest of the set from Loaded magazine. Now, I know some of you are a bit annoyed at all the naked British hotties posted lately, but seriously, if you’ve got issues with Keeley Hazell nude pictures, that’s your problem. Not mine.
First of all, women who pose naked for PETA never actually show the goods, and second, it’s been a hell of a long time since we’ve seen any Keeley Hazell nude pictures, so the fact that Keeley Hazell got naked for PETA, and actually didn’t cover up the fun bits is pretty awesome. And really, whatever your political stance on the fur trade, isn’t it worth not wearing fur if it means women like Keeley Hazell will get naked for it?