Egotastic
For all the fun we have at the expense of Katy Cocktease, it all comes down to this -- she's super fine.
If Katy weren't so damn hot, and so damn teasy, both of which she is in this rather amazing Jake Bailey photoshoot, we wouldn't be half as uncomfortably angry in our britches as we are about her never posing full topless for the cameras. We are frustrated in her hotness. Not so good looking women, well, they can leave their tops on (or take them off, let's be honest, we're guys, we'll still look).
C'mon, Katy, now is the time. Flash those hooters, it might just save us from the Apocalypse. Enjoy.
Katy Perry Is Snockered and See-Through And We Kind of Like Her Like This
Despite what People Magazine and the other suck-up-t0-celeb rags publish about Katy Cocktease being all put-together and happier than ever and ready to pursue her life after Russell, like some modern day Mary Tyler Moore, well, let's just say their journalistic standards are standardly missing when it comes to penning up puff pieces on celebrities in exchange for access. Katy Perry has been, in fact, a wreck for the better part of some time now, especially since her divorce, and if we didn't have all the photos evidence to prove it, we could just point to a short lived fling with self-admiring cocksman, John Mayer, res ipsa loquitur, as Brother Jeremiah would say in between carnal grunts as he explained proper means of self-fellating to the boys in the shower.
But, here's the thing, I think we kind of like Katy Perry like this. The Katy who emerged all kinds of 'toxicated and see-through from a bar in Santa Monica the other night, looking kind of ragged and torn and, well, real. We've all been there before, Katy. You don't need to pretend around us. Love sucks. So throwback a few, yell to the heavens, and for the love of all things holy, show us your effin' funbags! Enjoy.
KATy PERRY IS ONE HOT TROUBLED BUNDLE OF JOY WAITING TO BE UNWRAPPED