Kate Upton

Kate Upton Sextastic Hotness for 100th Anniversary of Vanity Fair

Well, if you're throwing a visual treats party to celebrate your birthday, why not utilize the obvious talents of Kate Upton on the cover of your special edition. Everything about Kate Upton in a revealing outfit says 'special occasion', if not, 'men with little self-control ought to remain seated'.

Now, this Vanity Fair anniversary special edition looks likes an homage to Marilyn perhaps from her Playboy posing days, not really sure, I'd have to start reading the articles and you know reading hurts my head. Either way, it's Kate Upton cleavetastic, which on the scale of party favors, ranks right above chips and soda and right below exactly nothing. Enjoy.

Kate Upton Can’t Not Be Hot, So She Gives Up Trying in Elle

Kate Upton has this new thing where she's doing magazine spreads in stylish, fashiony, kind of retro chic something or other. Since her latest such visual affair takes place in Elle magazine, I'll have to assume this is for the ladies who get stimulated by seeing such artistry. For us men folk, and our beloved Sapphic leaning women, the staging of it all seems to unnecessary, compared to, say, pictures of Kate Upton eating Cheerios in the buff. See, I just invented a motif that would take five minutes and garner one-hundred times as many interested eyeballs.

But, alas, horny men do not rule the world, just the halls of Congress, so we must obliged the large number of decent but misguided folks on this spinning orb who delight in seeing a fully clothed Kate Upton. Blessedly, there's no amount of staging or wardrobe that could possibly take away from the allure of Kate Upton. Have at it proper fashionable ladies. You can take away our simple skin views but you can't take away our imaginations. Enjoy.

Kate Upton in a Bikini, Bar Refaeli Kissing a Girl, and Josie Canseco Bikini Booty Highlight the Sextastic Twitpic Roundup

And the hits of summer just keep rolling along. The heat, the sun, the universal access to cameras. It's all coming together to create the perfect storm of our favorite sirens snapping hot skin-baring photos of themselves. It's like opening your front door and finding a pot of gold delivered for a leprechaun, just for you being you. Happy days.

This week's Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes some true stunners including Bar Refaeli kissing another girl, Katee Sackhoff in her underwear, Vanessa Hudgens bikini posing, Josie Canseco and friend flashing butts on the beach, Kate Upton on her Beach Bunny bikini photo shoot, Sofia Vergara in cleavetastic bikini mode, Ireland Baldwin strutting her own two-piece showoff, Kelly Brook covered topless, and much more. You owe it to the future King George to check out each and every one of these photos. Enjoy.

Kate Upton Bikini Right Alongside Cameron Diaz and Leslie Mann Bikinis Filming ‘The Other Woman’

Well, what do we have here. Three ladies who I would not throw out of my bed for eating crackers, or stabbing me in the eye for that matter. Of course, I will admit to putting a premium on Kate Upton rolling in the hay, but I'm not going to turn my nose up at veteran hottie Cameron Diaz or Leslie Mann for that matter.

The three relatively blonde ladies were bikini to bikini, in the Bahamas filming The Other Woman. That movie seems to have many many scenes, or maybe they're just making stuff up as they go along as an excuse to get these ladies into their bikinis. We've already seen Kate Upton almost fall out of hers (oh, damn you almost!). Either way, I've already committed to spending my money to see this film. It could be horrible, but this production process deserves a ten-spot. Enjoy.

Cameron Diaz and Kate Upton Raised Booty Mean It’s Going to Be a Great Week

I can't even begin to tell you how much sextastic celebrity skin you're  going to see here this coming week. I'm not sure if we're in the Dog Days of Summer yet or not. Nobody's explained that one to me, but we are most definitely in the enduring heat weeks and that means more sweet flashing than just about any time of the year.

As you know, at the beginning of each week I seek out a harbinger of good and naughty tidings. I can think of no finer omen than the sight of Kate Upton and Cameron Diaz filming The Other Woman in the Bahamas, both their booties perched in the air. Some people look to the stars for perfect alignment of the universe, I look to asstastic. Oh, baby, this is going to be a great week! Enjoy.

Kate Upton Boob Grab and Kendall Jenner, Ireland Baldwin, Michelle Jenneke, and Bar Refaeli in Bikinis for the Sextastic Twitpic Roundup

Well bless us and the middle of summer weather for providing a plethora of two-piece wonderments in this week's Sextastic Twitpic Roundup. Even the celebrities who want to hide behind a little bit of clothing are not given the chance to do so during July, so they work their tails off (literally) to craft their bodies into fine bikini showpieces for the middle of summer. Anybody who thinks these girls aren't sweating up a storm to get these bodies is fooling themselves; being young and rich and famous and hot isn't as easy as it seems. Albeit I say that being none of those.

This week's Roundup includes Ireland Baldwin bikini posing, Christina Milian in her curvaceous two piece, Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Benson posing their rears for the camera, Rita Ora showing deep cleavage, Australian track sensation Michelle Jenneke in a show-off bikini, Rosa Acosta booty muy mucho, Kendall Jenner stepping up her game, and much much more. You owe to the brave men and women of the Jaeger program to scope out each and every one of these delicious selfies. Enjoy.

Kate Upton Cleavage in the Big Apple

I imagine Kate Upton turns heads no matter where she goes these days. At least until they discover a land full of bodacious hot young blondes where she might blend in, she's going to stick out. I'd say like a sore thumb but that's not quite accurate. Though I'm guessing she leaves some in her wake.

Kate was cruising the streets of New York in a low cut summer dress flashing a good bit of her world-famous cleavage along with some nice view of her oft-underrated legs to Manhattan folk who mostly just responded by cranking their necks, leering, and imagining what it might be like to row Kate in a boat in Central Park, while she was nekkid. I might be transferring some of my own personal feelings into that generalization. Nevertheless, consider your city majorly blessed when Kate takes a promenade. Enjoy.