Kate Upton

Kate Upton Is Pretty Damn Good Looking

I know every now and then somebody has to stand up and tell everybody else that Kate Upton is overrated. It happens to everybody when they reach the pinnacle of the sextastic industry. And while I ever shy away from superlatives and naming the best of anything, if Kate Upton doesn't cause your naughty imagination to run wild, you do need to get your fantasy box checked for malfunction.

Kate Upton works it hard, whether in candid bikinis or at the height of fashion looking all stunning and cleavetastic on the pages of Vogue. I can see why photographers want to work with her so badly. I can also see why the job of towel boy in her entourage has such a long list, for which I'm told there are only twenty-six people ahead of me at the moment.  She's got the goods. Overrated? I suppose anything technically can be too hyped. I'd sure like to see how Kate Upton feels about it all as we share a nekkid cocktail together in the jacuzzi I don't have. Enjoy.

Kate Upton Is Cleavy Hottie in Miami for Something Fashiony

If you've got a town full of models, why not put on a fashion show. I guess Miami felt the same way. And, more importantly, they invited Kate Upton and told her to wear something low-cut. I'm not sure you need to remind Kate Upton to do that. All the same, she did, and the show was an instant success.

Kate Upton doesn't need to do much herself in the way of wardrobe to receive the majority of ogling attention at any event. In fact, no wardrobe at all would earn her 100% of that figure. But she seems obliged to wear clothes in public, sadly, so we settle happily for peeks of her twin peaks bubbling out of her low cut tops. It's a job somebody's got to do. I'm happy it's me. Enjoy.

Who Wants an Xbox One? Check Out the Mr. Skin Anatomy Awards And Be Entered to Win (VIDEO)

Updated to Add: if you enter your email address on the landing page after leaving this site, you are entered in the prize contest even if you don't see the Xbox specifically mentioned. Trust me, it's there. I mean, trust me like I'm Egotastic!, not like when the government says to trust them and you're skrewed.

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This isn't like one Xbox for the entire world. This is one Xbox One for one lucky Egotastic! Reader only. One of my lucky semi-employed bastard viewers is going to take home the Xbox One, courtesy of Mr. Skin and their annual Anatomy Awards, featuring delicate categories such as Best Nip Slip, Best Albino Nudity, and Best Backburger. It's so much better than the Oscars.

It's completely FREE, as in gratis, no purchase necessary, to see all the sextastic photos and clips of every nominated scene live now at Mr. Skin. When you're there, enter to win that Xbox, become the envy of your neighborhood, finally get laid by a girl you don't have to pretend to your friends doesn't have a Facebook account, and be somebody. It all happens now.

Enter to win now. Seriously, NOW. Yes, you might have to look at a bunch of really hot girls with no clothes on, but suffer you must. Enjoy.

Check Out the Uncensored Video Promo »

Kate Upton Bikini Pictures Bounce in Zero Gravity in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition

Just when you thought there were no great bikini posing ideas left, along comes the folks at Sports Illustrated Swimsuit to put the ridiculously bouncy flouncy Kate Upton into zero gravity in space. Well, not exactly space, but a high altitude emptied out transporter taking nose dives to create a zero gravity effect.

If you can get past the obviously associated though neatly hidden effect on the stomach, you have some ridiculously hot photos of Kate Upton in the 50th anniversary edition of the S.I. Swimsuit Edition.

You really must dive into the full Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition and check out the likes of Emily Ratajkowski, Nina Agdal, and Chrissy Teigen in their skimpy to non-existence bikinis. I insist. This will be good for you. Enjoy.

Ireland Baldwin and Kate Upton Cleavage Battle at S.I. Swimsuit Party (While Christie Brinkley Just Looks Amazing)

Wow, could it be that Ireland Baldwin out-cleavaged Kate Upton at a public event? It would be earth shattering news, and I'm not sure that is even humanly possible, but Ireland Baldwin certainly showed up proud and chest-showy to the Sports Illustrated 50th Anniversay party, taking on Kate Upton at her own game, albeit, in a dress Kate could probably not survive without an R-rating herself due to funbag gravitational pull.

Both sextastic young ladies looked outrageously hot at the event, while a woman old enough to easily be their mom, Christie Brinkley, nearly stole the entire event with her age-defying alluring blonde charms. I'm not exactly sure how she does it, but she done did it, and stood alongside Ireland and Kate and still getting just as many leers and lecherous looks. Just one smoking evening with three ladies I'd love to play strip ping-pong with, that is my natural sport. Enjoy.

Kate Upton Goes Full Blonde Cleavetastic Bombshell for V-Magazine

Of course, this isn't precisely how I would dress or photograph the deliciously robust Kate Upton if I ran the world, but these cleavy top outfits showing off her world class boobtastic certainly isn't anything to sneeze at. Unless you were sneezing on account of Kate's perfume as you motorboated yourself toward heaven.

Featured in the current edition of V magazine, Kate Upton shows she can go glamorous and stylish, without losing her underlying sextastic appeal. If anything, I just feel more compelled to discover the wonders that lie beneath. I've got my submariners hat on and I am so ready to dive you wouldn't believe it. Kate, call me, I'm ready to explore. Enjoy.

READER FINDS: Kate Upton Bikinis, Shailene Woodley Nipple Flash, Melanie Griffith Topless, and Much Much More

 

Well, hello 2014. Welcome to Egotastic! This is going to be a fine and furry (and or shaved) year indeed. I can feel it in me bones. Rusty, creaky, and creme-filled as they are. As evidence of this pending annum's greatness, our first Reader Finds of the new year. That weekly event where we all gather round the carbon-neutral and air resources board approved campfire to throw in our own sticks and branches of celebrity sextastic. Sometimes, we also sing John Cougar Mellencamp songs, but that's after a couple cocktails.

This week's Reader Finds includes Kate Upton bikini glory hotness from The Other Woman trailer (thank you to EgoReader 'Zev' for this luscious affair), a renewed leer at Bianca Kajlich in her topless performance last year (blessings from 'Bob D.'), Nikki Ziering memorably funbags exposure (melons courtesy of 'Owen'), another ogle at Paula Patton topless in 2 Guns (redux goodness from 'Jeremy'), a throwback to Melanie Griffith topless lingerie looks from the 80's (wayback hotness from 'Erin'), Joan Severance in another topless skinematic event (good tidings from 'Benny'), thespianic Marine Vacth exposing her delicious teats (thank you kindly, good 'Daniel'), Naturi Naughton topless goodness (teat treats via 'Nate F.'), Brooklyn Decker  infamously showy GQ photoshoot (one of my faves from 'Dave'), Emily Ratajkowski barely covering her hot boobtastic (oh, Emily delivered by 'Stoney'), Fanny Francois in a crazy hot lingerie shoot (such sweet female forms by way of 'Tonya'), Tilda Swinton topless on the big screen (Tilda ta-ta's handed over by 'Nelly'), Shailene Woodley quickly flashing nipple in her new film (eagle-eyed by 'JR'),  Natalie Dormer topless in Rush (inspired by 'Tony C.') Emily Ratajkowski again, this time quite topless (ooh la la by way of 'Katy'), Miley Cyrus grabbing her own ta's in a candid (muchas gracias to 'Jose Luis' from FB), Helen Mirren bare in one wacky movie (spotted specifically by 'Layne'), Kayslee Collins topless modeling pics (from her devotee, 'MSG'), and Sascha Read super cleavy in lingerie (from her superfan 'Trey'). Enjoy.