Kate Upton

Who Wants an Xbox One? Check Out the Mr. Skin Anatomy Awards And Be Entered to Win (VIDEO)

Updated to Add: if you enter your email address on the landing page after leaving this site, you are entered in the prize contest even if you don't see the Xbox specifically mentioned. Trust me, it's there. I mean, trust me like I'm Egotastic!, not like when the government says to trust them and you're skrewed.

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This isn't like one Xbox for the entire world. This is one Xbox One for one lucky Egotastic! Reader only. One of my lucky semi-employed bastard viewers is going to take home the Xbox One, courtesy of Mr. Skin and their annual Anatomy Awards, featuring delicate categories such as Best Nip Slip, Best Albino Nudity, and Best Backburger. It's so much better than the Oscars.

It's completely FREE, as in gratis, no purchase necessary, to see all the sextastic photos and clips of every nominated scene live now at Mr. Skin. When you're there, enter to win that Xbox, become the envy of your neighborhood, finally get laid by a girl you don't have to pretend to your friends doesn't have a Facebook account, and be somebody. It all happens now.

Enter to win now. Seriously, NOW. Yes, you might have to look at a bunch of really hot girls with no clothes on, but suffer you must. Enjoy.

Check Out the Uncensored Video Promo »

Kate Upton Bikini Pictures Bounce in Zero Gravity in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition

Just when you thought there were no great bikini posing ideas left, along comes the folks at Sports Illustrated Swimsuit to put the ridiculously bouncy flouncy Kate Upton into zero gravity in space. Well, not exactly space, but a high altitude emptied out transporter taking nose dives to create a zero gravity effect.

If you can get past the obviously associated though neatly hidden effect on the stomach, you have some ridiculously hot photos of Kate Upton in the 50th anniversary edition of the S.I. Swimsuit Edition.

You really must dive into the full Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition and check out the likes of Emily Ratajkowski, Nina Agdal, and Chrissy Teigen in their skimpy to non-existence bikinis. I insist. This will be good for you. Enjoy.

Ireland Baldwin and Kate Upton Cleavage Battle at S.I. Swimsuit Party (While Christie Brinkley Just Looks Amazing)

Wow, could it be that Ireland Baldwin out-cleavaged Kate Upton at a public event? It would be earth shattering news, and I'm not sure that is even humanly possible, but Ireland Baldwin certainly showed up proud and chest-showy to the Sports Illustrated 50th Anniversay party, taking on Kate Upton at her own game, albeit, in a dress Kate could probably not survive without an R-rating herself due to funbag gravitational pull.

Both sextastic young ladies looked outrageously hot at the event, while a woman old enough to easily be their mom, Christie Brinkley, nearly stole the entire event with her age-defying alluring blonde charms. I'm not exactly sure how she does it, but she done did it, and stood alongside Ireland and Kate and still getting just as many leers and lecherous looks. Just one smoking evening with three ladies I'd love to play strip ping-pong with, that is my natural sport. Enjoy.

Kate Upton Goes Full Blonde Cleavetastic Bombshell for V-Magazine

Of course, this isn't precisely how I would dress or photograph the deliciously robust Kate Upton if I ran the world, but these cleavy top outfits showing off her world class boobtastic certainly isn't anything to sneeze at. Unless you were sneezing on account of Kate's perfume as you motorboated yourself toward heaven.

Featured in the current edition of V magazine, Kate Upton shows she can go glamorous and stylish, without losing her underlying sextastic appeal. If anything, I just feel more compelled to discover the wonders that lie beneath. I've got my submariners hat on and I am so ready to dive you wouldn't believe it. Kate, call me, I'm ready to explore. Enjoy.

READER FINDS: Kate Upton Bikinis, Shailene Woodley Nipple Flash, Melanie Griffith Topless, and Much Much More

 

Well, hello 2014. Welcome to Egotastic! This is going to be a fine and furry (and or shaved) year indeed. I can feel it in me bones. Rusty, creaky, and creme-filled as they are. As evidence of this pending annum's greatness, our first Reader Finds of the new year. That weekly event where we all gather round the carbon-neutral and air resources board approved campfire to throw in our own sticks and branches of celebrity sextastic. Sometimes, we also sing John Cougar Mellencamp songs, but that's after a couple cocktails.

This week's Reader Finds includes Kate Upton bikini glory hotness from The Other Woman trailer (thank you to EgoReader 'Zev' for this luscious affair), a renewed leer at Bianca Kajlich in her topless performance last year (blessings from 'Bob D.'), Nikki Ziering memorably funbags exposure (melons courtesy of 'Owen'), another ogle at Paula Patton topless in 2 Guns (redux goodness from 'Jeremy'), a throwback to Melanie Griffith topless lingerie looks from the 80's (wayback hotness from 'Erin'), Joan Severance in another topless skinematic event (good tidings from 'Benny'), thespianic Marine Vacth exposing her delicious teats (thank you kindly, good 'Daniel'), Naturi Naughton topless goodness (teat treats via 'Nate F.'), Brooklyn Decker  infamously showy GQ photoshoot (one of my faves from 'Dave'), Emily Ratajkowski barely covering her hot boobtastic (oh, Emily delivered by 'Stoney'), Fanny Francois in a crazy hot lingerie shoot (such sweet female forms by way of 'Tonya'), Tilda Swinton topless on the big screen (Tilda ta-ta's handed over by 'Nelly'), Shailene Woodley quickly flashing nipple in her new film (eagle-eyed by 'JR'),  Natalie Dormer topless in Rush (inspired by 'Tony C.') Emily Ratajkowski again, this time quite topless (ooh la la by way of 'Katy'), Miley Cyrus grabbing her own ta's in a candid (muchas gracias to 'Jose Luis' from FB), Helen Mirren bare in one wacky movie (spotted specifically by 'Layne'), Kayslee Collins topless modeling pics (from her devotee, 'MSG'), and Sascha Read super cleavy in lingerie (from her superfan 'Trey'). Enjoy.

Kate Upton Playful on the Beach With Boobs and Buttockals

Kate Upton makes any photoshoot a fun photoshoot. She could be shooting a commerical for home mortgage refinancing and give financially underwater homeowners a boner. It's true. Trust me, I've imagined it.

On the chilly beach over the weekend in a Sam Edelman commercial shoot, Kate got down to unbuttoning her top and flashing her bra covered cleavage, a healthy amount of legs and booty, and all-around looked like a curvaceous playful kitten in the sand. I guess this is why she gets paid the big bucks while when I roll around in the sand at the beach half-dressed, parents run for the parking lot while covering their children's eyes. Kate Upton, we need to beach together some time soon. Enjoy.

READER FINDS: Keira Knightley Topless, Heidi Klum Nippletastic, Lady Gaga Bare Boob, and Much Much More…

 

Sometimes I think to myself, no, stop, you readers are just far too generous with your skin-filled donations each week. Then I remember a little thing called the greater good. Something in Latin that means greater good that I never paid attention to in school. The concept that it's selfish to horde, gracious to share, and when it comes to the bare nekkid bodies of our favorite sextastic celebrities, downright saintly. How ever would I deny you that privilege? I shant.

This week's Reader Finds includes Kate Upton from Esquire being naughty with scissors (thank you to EgoReader 'James L.' for blonde bombshell goodness), Elizabeth Perkins topless on the big screen (big ups to 'OFC' for this cinematic gem), Hayley-Marie Coppin in her own topless film turn (kudos to 'Marcos' on these caps), Jaime Murray topless and wanton in Dexter (boob tube contribution from 'Damon'), my future adopted mom Michelle Hunziker from a bit back and super cleavy on Wetten Daas (pictures of my future mom transmitted by 'Steven'), 70's softcore legend Sylvia Kristel topless in skinematics (dropped herein by 'Rose'), Laura Gemser and Michele Starck topless in more throwback classic cinema (film buffed up by 'Louis'), Keira Knightley topless and getting it on with Hayley Atwell in something very Britishy (pirate-ess pics purloined by 'Oseh'), Courteney Cox in a classic 90's sextastic Mark Seliger photoshoot (from friend of Egotastic 'Josh P.'), Heidi Klum in a couple nipple baring body paint shots (offered up by 'Aaron'), Euro model Freja Beha Erichsen quite nekkid in black and white (arty goodness from 'Mike S.'), Olivia Wilde in a bikini top on location (hottie candid from the hands of 'Eric'), Lady Gaga bare boob in a Mario Testino shot photo (Gags funbag courtesy of 'Estebo'), Mika Lovely so lovely and topless (faptastic flesh provided by 'Sonja'), Playmate  Irina Voronina topless in Reno 911 (blonde jugulars dialed up by 'Randall'), Selena Gomez leggy boudoir promo pics (stellar find by 'Ray D.'), late night cable queen Shannon Whirry topless in a late night cable operetta (wayback goodness via 'Dean'), Liberty Ross topless art house chic (openly condoned by 'Patrick'), Ali Lohan modeling pics (a rare find from 'Dave'), the crazy hot Genevieve Morton in lingerie (silky blessings from 'John'), purportedly Alyssa Campanella, Miss USA, in a blonde wig and topless for something artsy (contributed by good guy 'Harushkupo'), another look at ingenue Morgan Saylor in her topless moment in Homeland (honed in on by 'Nathan'), Portuguese extreme hottie Sara Sampaio topless in a modeling shot (thank you quite kindly, 'Chris), and a plea for the beauty of Linda Cardellini (from her big fan 'Josh B.). It's more than a handful, it's a dive right in full. Enjoy.