Back in middle school the most popular girl in school, the perfectly Nordic formed beauty Anna Spanx hosted a Power Rangers makeout party and made a publicly dramatic gesture about handing out invitations to the chosen few, though not so few that it seemed like the entire homeroom class, less yours truly, received her precious pink folded note card invitation. Scorned by the obvious exclusion, I finally found the recently descended sack to confront the gorgeous young Anna about my omission from her popularity party list. She was a blunt girl, being both very pretty and rather lacking in intellectual faculties. Anna informed me that she didn’t invite me because it was creepy how I was always trying to peek down her top at her burgeoning female developments and that she didn’t want me around all her friends at her party. I took the news rather hard, if for no other reason than to discover I was not as sly a peeker as I had previously thought. Despite my designation as socially unacceptable, Anna was ultimately a very practical girl with solid understanding of her future and told me to meet her behind the science building at recess and for $5 she’d let me get a good long private gander. I’d call that a win for young Egotastic!
These old feelings boiled up again this past weekend as for some odd quirk of the vaunted U.S. Postal Service (R.I.P.), my invitation to the Veuve Clicquot Polo Classic never arrived, making me wonder if that golden ticket is even sent my way in the first place? But who would not want Egotastic! at an upscale event featuring the finest frocked ladies in town attending polo matches in fancy surroundings. I mean, it’s not as if we’re going to try to sneak up the proper formal dresses of the likes of Mandy Moore, Ali Larter, Kaley Cuoco, and Alessandra Ambrosio, all in attendance at the frou-frou event. It’s middle school all over again, only these girls would charge much more than $5. Enjoy.
If you’re a fan of Big Bang Theory, well, that is one matter we need to discuss more fully, but if you’re a super fan of blonde hottie breakout star Kaley Cuoco, no discussion needed.
Let us just leer together in peace at the sextastic minx as she appears in this months Maxim Australia. Granted, these are not brand new photos of Kaley, but they are a fuller set of some recent previous work of the girl we’d all like to school in a little bang theory and highlight her deadly combo of hot body and that ‘come hither’ look that makes you both come and hither without much need for your consent. Just plain old-fashioned hotness. Enjoy.
Check Out Kaley BTS of Her Maxim Photoshoot »
Yep, it’s that time again, seems like it happens almost every seven days or so that we come to Friday, the day we all come together as one big Egotastic! family around the campfire of the sextastic and roast some nekkid hottie marshmallows. We simply could not do this each week without all of you, so, for that, we are ever thankful.
This week’s Reader Finds includes what appears to be Selena Gomez kissing another girl (oh, holy days), Rolling Stone’s daughter Theodora Richards flashing serious skin, Bar Refaeli looking ever hot pictorially speaking, Rosie Jones from her classic bare-nekkid spread, Danica Thrall once more thrilling ‘em all with her tubes, what may or may not be a Kaley Cuoco see-through picture, sextastic wet hot Karolina Kurkova, Britty soap star Stephanie Davis bare-assed in public, Brazilian barely-legal thespianic hottie Laura Nieva, and Raffaella Modugno, former Miss Italy finalist turned sextastic showy model. It’s all so very skintastic this week.
See All the Raunchy Reader Finds »
Vanity isn’t just for celebrity breakfast anymore, it’s now driving more and more of our sextastic hotties to check themselves out in the mirror and say ‘Damn, I’m fine, the world needs to see some of this.’ Snap snap. And to the web they go with their photos of their favorite subjects — themselves — which works out just about perfect for us gentleman oglers.
This week’s sextastic Twitpic roundup includes self-contributions of hotness from the likes of Kaley Cuoco in little bikinis, Bar Refaeli looking ever hot, Miley Cyrus in love with her own legs, Sara Jean Underwood forever in a bikini and about a bazillion more sweethearts self-portraiting themselves straight into our loins. You owe it to yourself to feed their vanity. Enjoy.
Oh, Kaley Cuoco, how do we lust thee, let me count the ways. Okay, I came up with eleven ways in just seven seconds, most having to do with Kaley body parts and Smuckers Jam and a lack of napkins, but I’m sure I could come up with more with a few more seconds of thought.
The hot Big Bang Theory blonde showed off her classy hotness side in this month’s Beverly Hills Lifestyle magazine, looking exactly as she does in my nightly deep REM dreams, except I don’t seem to recall her wearing any clothes in those fantasies, such an extra waste of ten seconds of undressing time toward Nirvana. Enjoy.
Oh, blessed mother of self-published pics, how you grace us. There really is no better modern day phenomenon, a billion dollars worth of Instagram phenomenon, than sextastic celebrities shooting pictures of themselves on their camera phones and distributing them out to the world wide digisphere. Wunderbar.
This weeks Sextastic Twitpic roundup includes self-shot contributions from G4 hottie hostess, Candace Bailey, some bunny love from Shakira, a couple of at home shots from AJ Michalka and Aly Michalka, Sara Jean Underwood mounting another woman, Kendall Jenner bikini teen delights, and so much more we can’t even list it all. It’s a veritable plethora of personal celebrity pics that must be seen to be appreciated. Enjoy.
The after parties are where it all happens. Where the sexy celebrities with acting chops who get to attend the awards get to meet the sexy celebrities who don’t have so much of the talking and speaking and emoting talent and we pretend they’re all equals, because in the eyes of Egotastic!, if they’re hot, they truly are.
In addition to the Golden Globe Awards hotness of Jessica Alba, Emma Stone, and Maria Menounos, the Instyle party featured noteworthy ogling opportunity contributions from always hot Miranda Kerr in a push-up top, Victoria Justice who makes our mouth water with the devil’s drool, Erin Wasson, a fashion model and dress designer who designed herself one wicked hot outfit, Kaley Cuoco, bubbly princess hottie, and Billionaire Barbie (yeah, I know, we almost included Nicky Hilton too, but her net negative personality sucked the thrill out of us like a wet sponge).
And, while the Instyle Party was the place to be in L.A. last night, I’d like to give a shoutout to my poda-masseuse, Gagne Soo, who showed up at my Golden Globes viewing party with three BBWs who plowed through my crudités platter in less than seven minutes. It was like watching a NatGeo sweeps week ‘Attack of the…’ program. Enjoy.