Jordan Carver

Jordan Carver Tickles the Ivories With Her Baby Grands

Editors note: some or all of the images in this post have been removed at request of JCM.

Okay, so maybe bustastic model supreme Jordan Carver can’t actually play the piano, but all I hear when I look into her chest her eyes is the sweet dulcet sounds of a symphony perfectly in tune. The strings, the horns, the brass, and most definitely the enormous bass drums, all playing their part in creating the perfect sextastic harmony.

It’s not that we’re so much in lust with Jordan Carver here as we are just sort of standing and staring in quiet silence, in the manner of a dog with laser beam focus on the treat in his master’s hands. If her melons moved left, we’d dart in that direction forthwith. Enjoy.


READER FINDS: Kendall Jenner Stripper Pole, Lea Seydoux Topless, Rihanna Nipple Ring, Lucy Collett Nekkid, and Much More…

Welcome to the Kardashians!

The first Reader Finds of 2012, and what a way to kick it off. Our best-on-the-net viewers have joined forces like the Wonder Twins activating to present a cornucopia of celebrity T&A the likes of which exists nowhere else in cyberspace. This is exactly why the Internet was invented.

Today’s Reader Finds includes an unexpected twist of young Kendall Jenner on the stripper pole, a topless pic of current Mission Impossible hottie, Lea Seydoux, as anticipated, another hot set of Page 3 Idol Winner Lucy Collett nekkid, Sara Jean Underwood without any clothes, a shot of what looks to be Rihanna with a new nipple ring, hot Euro model Nina Restic topless on her balcony, Lara Bingle in a sexy bikini swimsuit photoshoot, Teri Hatcher in a classic Lois upskirt, and Johanna Lundback in more see-through lingerie. Quite a collection indeed.

Check Out All the Raunchy Reader Finds »

Jordan Carver Brings Out the Big Guns for a Waterside Exhibition

Editors note: some or all of the images in this post have been removed at request of JCM.

We’ve made it to Friday. I don’t know about your week, I mean, we do spy a little on you upscale perverts, but it’s been one hell of a week with our upgrade site launch and also this unfortunate case of the itches in the taintal area, but let’s just call that a private matter. If you’re like us here, you’re only a couple or three or none hours into a cocktail ease into a weekend of sports and pretending to be interested in your girlfriend’s shammy selections for the guest bedroom (the future guest bedroom, because no man has a real guest bedroom, because even if you do have an extra room, in your mind it’s just a gaming room or home theater waiting to happen).

We’re pretty mindless when it comes to celebrating Friday and any old big funbags always serve their purpose. But today, thanks to Jordan Carver and this wet and wooly lakeside photoshoot, we don’t just have any old plump melons, we have some of nature’s (and nature’s helpers) finest duo of milkers from anywhere on this blue planet. And it’s giving me an idea for a brand new cocktail. Enjoy.

HUMPDAY HUZZAH: Jordan Carver in a (Covered) Topless Wicked Hot Photoshoot

Well, you all seemed so giddy last time of our substitute of very nearly nekkid and size-mungous Jordan Carver boobtastic for the typical Wednesday full flashes, we thought we’d try again with this extraordinarily hot pictorial of the world-famous buxom model. It’s not just that Jordan Carver totes twin maximus mammaries around 24×7, but she does so while looking ridiculously sextastic, a rare combo in the world of the record-sized racktastic. In this downright libido-memorable pictorial, Jordan manages the rare feat of covering two of her Guernseys with just one arm (hand was not an option) while still looking somewhat like the hot gal who lives next door and we just can’t stop ogling.

On this Wednesday before we give thanks for all the goodness in our lives, we’d like to offer up a double helping of lust gravy for the momentous occasions of Jordan Carver. Enjoy.

Thank God It’s Funbags (TGIF): Jordan Carver Drops Down Dog on Her Legendary Flesh Puppies

I’m not one for research or fact checking, but I do believe this is our first-ever edition of TGIF without actual toplessness. When we spotted noteworthy German glamour model, Jordan Carver, conducting a display of yoga almost revealing enough to make us consider buying one of those rolled up rubber mats and some overpriced sweatpants and enrolling in some healthy body enlightenment studio, well, we just had to share. It was just a couple months ago I think we debunked the myth that this monster mammaried model had NEVER EVER appeared nude before, though that is one of her often made claims. Now, we’re done with debunking and just into leering at those spectacular jugtaculars.

If this doesn’t give you a lift through to the weekend, we’re not sure what will. Enjoy.

READER FINDS: Nikki Ziering Classic Reveal, the Davalos Twins Lingerie Perfect, Mo’ Mo’ Erin McNaught, Natasza Urbanska Dirty Dancing, Jordan Carver Topless, and Ellen Page Purported Lesbionics


You know how much we love our faithful readers, somewhat more than a fresh gorgonzola, somewhat less than our Playstation, right there in the perfect middle. But, you all rise to game console level fondness each Friday as we review the piles and piles of fleshtastic celebrity content you deliver to our doorstep in warm heaping moundfuls. Yum.

This week’s Reader Finds includes some classic Nikki Ziering nekkids, some newly uncovered Davalos Twins curvy extraordinary lingerie pics, some Erin McNaught additions to the wonderful set from a week ago, Nastasza Urbanska doing some on-floor crotch grabbing, Jordan Carver in maybe her only topless pose ever, and a photo of Ellen Page we’re told confirms her lesbionics (not super shocking).

Check Out All the Deliciously Nekkid Reader Finds
Nikki Ziering in PlayboyEgotastic! loyalist ‘Adam’ simply could not believe that he couldn’t find these classic Nikki Ziering nekkids from her Bunny mag spread on our site; I think he was fuming, perhaps even stewing, well, stew no longer, friend as the blonde bombshell flashes her top and bottom and all other parts of her bodacious body north, south, east, and west, for the benefit of all her love the sextastic.

Camila and Mariana Davalos Compilation PhotosOh, Camila and Mariana Davalos, how you set my Colombian hottie heart afire with all types of sultry lust and desires to pull out the riding crop and enforce some ridiculously random justice upon thine bottomsides. Well, thanks to Egotastic! reader ‘Alejo R.’ we have a few classic, but new to us views of these twins delicious lingerie spectaculars. Silk never ever looked finer on a pair of hottie sisters.

Erin McNaught Topless Photoshoot ExtrasRemember all the way back to a week ago when readers sent in some delightfully topless pictures of Aussie TV actress, Erin McNaught? Personally, it’s burned into my gray matter like a hot sexy perma-brand. Well blessed be EgoSuperFans ‘Mathias G.’ and ‘Jan W.’ for supplementing Ms. McNaught’s super hot topless pictorial stock with these mighty fine skin additions to the collection. We could not be more pleased.

Natasza Urbańska dancingShoutout to all of our Polish friends and readers, most notably today ‘Daniel K’ who insisted we take a gander at Natasza Urbańska, a Polish actress who is high kicking butt on the Polish edition of Dancing with the Stars this season. Apparently, Natasza likes to get a little bit naughty on the dance floor and it’s causing some kind of murmur and uproar over appropriate behavior. Personally, I’ve been hearing those same rumors my whole life; you learn to tune them out. I hope Natasza sticks it right in their face (or mine).

Jordan Carver In Her One and Only Topless Photo? EgoReader ‘Jan W.’ is doubling down this week with a claim that German boobtastic model extraordinaire, Jordan Carver, who claims to have never posed her GG or HH or some huge sized rack without cover for the snappers, may indeed have one topless photo out there. We’re not precisely sure of the accuracy of this claim, bur sure are having a delight inspecting the monster funbag clues.

Ellen Page Kissing a Girl?Finally, from a very excited reader, ‘Veritas’, a pictures that purports to show little indie hottie Ellen Page kissing another girl. These lesbionic rumors have been swirling around Ellen Page for some time now, to which we of course say, unless there are pictures of her nekkid with another woman, it’s none of our concern, and even then, just for faptastic funtime material. So, you know, if you’ve got some of those, please do share. And, enjoy.