Jordan Carver

Jordan Carver Learns that Married Men Enjoy First Dates Too in Her Date Night Disaster (VIDEO)

Don't Mess With The Bouncy German!

Not to give away too much in advance, but our bouncy flouncy hottie German friend Jordan Carver's Date Night Disaster reminds me once more of the difference between men and women.

A couple or three years back, me and some guys were out for a night on the town and got invited back to some ladies' place for an after-party and one thing led to another and my buddy Turk the Greek hooked up with one of the girls and we didn't see them until the next morning when Turk had the grin of grins on his successful face and this girl came out of the same bedroom crying. The girl tells Turk she needs to confess a horrible secret, that she's really married and pretended to be single the night before and fooled him and she felt horrible about deceiving him. To which Turk replied 'No worries' and Turk went straight out for a Grand Slam breakfast at Denny's. Dudes just don't care.

But, women, as you will see in our latest installment of Date Night Disasters, are far less forgiving of dude's who lie about their backgrounds. Enjoy.

(This post is sponsored by Do No Harm on NBC. Premieres Thursday 10/9c)

Jordan Carver Covered Topless Behind the Scenes of Her Busty DOA5 Photoshoot for Egotastic! (VIDEO)

Check Out Behind the Scenes!
Jordan's Hottest of the Hot
Jordan Carver boobtastic in her first ever English language show. Watch »

It's hard to express in words how much fun we had being around Jordan Carver mostly nekkid for an entire day last month shooting her as 'Tina Armstrong' for our DOA5 photoshoot. It was like hanging around a buddy for the day, if your buddy had a killer smile and some wicked awesome boobs he liked to show off.

In addition to the photoshoot, Jordan and her bodacious body and Germanic good looks also hosted her first ever English language TV show in the form of our Hottest of the Hot program, and taped some DOA5 green screen promos for us. All of which is not nearly as important as the healthy Bavarian visuals, natch.

Check out behind the scenes of our day with Jordan Carver and feel the excitement. Enjoy.

Jordan Carver Covered Topless as ‘Tina Armstrong’ to Celebrate the Release of DOA5

It's really not possible to tell you how much fun we had meeting, greeting, and shooting Jordan Carver in our tribute to the upcoming video game release of DOA5. It was like everything I always imagined it would be like to spend the day with a half-nekkid German hottie bending and preening and cosplaying for the cameras. Of course, Jordan did drop kick me in my bobos, but I deserved it.

Plus, all the violence got Jordan in character to portray wrestler-martial artist 'Tina Armstrong', the blonde cowgirl from Dead or Alive 5 set to release on Tuesday, September 25. We have a natural affinity for the DOA video game series given their natural affinity for all things sexy, female, and mammarial related.

Check out the Egotastic! exclusive interpretation of Tina Armstrong by way of Jordan Carver and her wicked hot body and beautiful naughtiness. We hope you enjoy.

** Special thanks to both photographer Mateo Ward and to the quite happening and freshly opened A/V Nightclub in Hollywood for hosting our shoot.

Jordan Carver Gaining English Skills With Cleavy Hosting Hottest of the Hot for Egotastic! (VIDEO)

Stop Staring at Jordan's Boobs and See Who Won!

Make no mistake, Egotastic! is an equal opportunity employer. To host our weekly wrap-up show, Hottest of the Hot, you don't even need to speak English as a first language. Granted, it does help if you have other job skills to contribute. And Jordan Carver has some skills, oh, trust me, she has some big skills.

Egotastic! got a chance to shoot Jordan Carver exclusively for a photo pictorial you will see, oh, in about a week (and, my god, it crossed a line off my personal bucket list, two actually if you count the fact that I had always want to experience life as a dairy farmer), and we wasted no time in asking Jordan to host our fun time Hottest of the Hot, so we could spend even more time ogling her fine form and to hear her say the word 'motherf***er was just priceless.

So, check out Hottest of the Hot, or just check out Jordan, counting down the Top 5 most clicked pics of the past week on Egotastic! Enjoy.

Jordan Carver Big, Bouncy, Flouncy, Fun on Set of ‘Who Killed Johnny’

Well, it's not exactly the movie we were hoping to see Jordan Carver and her double-H bombs cast in, you know, the kind with the very randy pizza delivery guy, but any chance to peruse those passionate chest puppies she brings with her everywhere makes for some solid on-set photos.

On production on Who Killed Johnny (yet another film we find zero information on), the bodacious buxom German model and now actress shows that tassels will never truly go out of style, not when they're employed to highlight the luscious hanging fruit of girls like Jordan. Consider us excited by this unexpected uncovery.  Enjoy.

Jordan Carver Brings Her Double Cannons To Bear for XXL Bra Pimping

Who you gonna call? Brabusters!

Hey, when you're a company selling bras for ladies with mongo funbags, you've got to find the model who can fill the role, as it were. And nobody pimps the boobtastic gigantastic quite like German model Jordan Carver, who's two chestal buoys are not only fully-functional life preservers, they're life enhancers. At least, they're enhancing my life just from the site of them.

Now, we here at Egotastic! are equal opportunity chest puppy oglers. We do not play favorites. But let's just say if we're falling off of a ten story building, we're praying for the curves of Jordan Carver to be coincidentally walking below. Enjoy.

Jordan Carver Shows You How To Be Nice to Trees

Editors note: some or all of the images in this post have been removed at request of JCM.

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the sweet earth's flowing breast;

I'm not sure the poet Joyce Kilmer had in mind precisely what boobtastic model Jordan Carver is doing to that mighty oak when he penned his famous 'Trees' poem, but I do have a sneaking suspicion that if he were alive today, he'd be checking out Jordan on Egotastic! getting her covered topless hotness game on with a tree as pat of her ode to summer sunsets bikini hotness pictorial.

Now, I'm not saying I'm jealous of a tree, but what I can say from looking at these arboreal beach wonderment photos of the mighty chesty Jordan Carver is that that is most definitely not sap leaking from my trunk. Enjoy.