Jessica Biel

Bikini Bombshells

Lea Michele Hawaiian bikini vacation. (Celebuzz)

Jessica Biel spends a lot of time on that perfect body. (HuffPo)

Kristin Cavallari is single and ready to mingle. (FoxNews)

Adriana Lima awesome beach body. (GossipCenter)

Jennifer Lopez makes her ex jealous with these bikini pictures. (SocialiteLife)

Lindsay Lohan stumbles into more trouble. (TMZ)

Alicia Keys rare bikini peek. (TheSuperficial)

Comic-Con 2011 Roundup: Ashley Greene, Kate Beckinsale, Nina Dobrev Lead List of Hotties At the Running of the Nerds

It’s amazing what can happen when a few (thousand) geeks get together for their annual summer nerdenhaven festival known as Comic-Con, wherein the powers of geekdom become so intense and focused, the time-space continuum so fluxed with fanboy fapping, that you can actually bear witness to the Einstein theory on relativity — that is, these bespectacled jelly wonkers only chance to have actual sex is with their neckgear wearing cousins.

Nevertheless, where there’s nerds, there’s discretionary entertainment dollars, and that brings out the sexy celeb hotties in droves ready to pimp and promote the shizz out of their latest projects, whether they be fiction scientific, like Total Recall,  or just super fabulous terrific, like Glee. Super-duper-hero level hotties at the convention center included the eternally-wood-inducing Kate Beckinsale, the vastly underrated Nina Dobrev, uber-sexy Ashley Green, along with a gaggle of additional girl-awesome power provided by Summer Glau, Minka Kelly, Rachel Nichols, Olivia Munn, Emma Stone, Kristen Stewart, Charlize Theron, Jessica Biel, Rose McGowan, Nikki Reed, Anna Paquin, and a special salute to the trying-epically-hard-to-be-patented-leather-geek-erotic, Adrianne Curry, in many special costumes. Enjoy.

Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel Will Metaphorically Hug Your Meat

How to make the perfect Egotastic! sandwich:

Sextastic namesakes, Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel as the bread. And, for the meat, well, insert your own crude joke here, but, remember, my mom reads this site! Enjoy.

(The two Jessicas pictured here at the Revlon Run/Walk from over the weekend, another great charitable concern fighting to find a cure for women’s cancer.)

Jessica Biel Single Again! Time to Polish My Crocs


I mean, of course, I’m sad. So sad that Jessica Biel has decided to end her five year relationship with that ‘NSync singer dude and become a free woman again, capable of choosing her own destiny, her own future companion, deciding who does or does not enter her holy shrine. (Oh, please be me.) For the most part, I’ve just forgotten about the past five years of Jessica Biel taken-status; I find that complete denial is the best form of coping with such valleys in life. In fact, check out these classic sexy Jessica Biel pictures from a time just before Justin, a more innocent time, the time I still remember my be-lusted Jessica, frozen like a goddess of hotness. Enjoy.

Be sure to check out Celebuzz for all the breaking breakup news on Jessica Biel and ‘NSync dude.

And, of course, if you’d prefer to see Jessica Biel best of skin flick moments, visit our friends at Mr. Skin for their Egotastic! fan special:

See all of Jessica’s nude scenes at!

After the Oscars: Selena Gomez and Jessica Biel and Other Hotties at the Vanity Fair After Party

After the film industry-wide circle jerk concludes, and the lights go down on the Kodak theater, the real parties in Hollywood begin. None more important each year than Vanity Fair event, where the magazine brings out all the big names, most of which weren’t actually close to being Oscar worthy, but, still hot, including this year my niece/girlfriend Selena Gomez (yeah, we cut the midget out of the picture), Taylor Swift looking all gold and on top of the world, Natalie Portman fresh off her Best Actress win, Jessica Biel, who I miss dearly, Brooklyn Decker, who I can’t get enough of, the Glee sisters, Dianna Agron and Lea Michele, and Nordic blonde twinsies Cameron Diaz Gwynneth Paltrow, Charlize Theron, veteran hottie, Jennifer Hudson, whose miracle cleavage was one of the stars of the Oscars, and Kate Beckinsale, forever ridiculously sexy. In short, if everybody had stripped off their clothes and jumped into the pool, it would’ve been very close to a recurring and very private day dream of mine. (Still, Gino’s Pizza Rolls nuked from the garage freezer deep thaw, a La-Z-Boy recliner, and a glass of adult milk is nothing to sneeze at for an Oscar’s after-party either.) Enjoy.

Photo credit: Getty Images / Splash News

Jessica Biel Tight Pants And Summery Happy Memories (VIDEO)

It’s just the time of year, but I get melancholy for hotties who’ve been removed from the scene for far too long, and super wistful for the super hotties like Jessica Biel, a sextastic queen who filled the coffers of our tug vault for so many glorious years, but has pulled back a bit from the public eye, much to my dismay. Every now and then, we still catch Jessica Biel in a pair of tight jeans and our hearts (and other body parts ) soar. We can’t help but remember the ghosts of sextastic Biel-past, like these scenes from Summer Catch, which somehow I was forced to see in the theaters at the time, but, now, I own seventeen copies on hijacked Blu-Ray, all in their individually secured goldenrod sleeves. Come back to us, Jessica, not a little ways, all the way. Enjoy.

Photo credit: INF Photo / Fame

Oh, Jessica Biel, how you captured our hearts in Summer Catch with your acting talents, both the frontside talents and the buttside. Superb!

Watch the Video »

Jessica Biel Sexy In Clothes; My Secret Shame

Go on, laugh. But I think I’m in lust with a woman in clothes. Of course, this is no ordinary woman, this is the super hot Jessica Biel, for whom I’ve lusted all seven heavens. Pictured here in the latest Glamour UK magazine (yeah, I got a subscription, what of it, it’s for me mum), Jessica Biel shows off some of the sexy reasons why Justin Timberlake, who only looks gay, chose her for his latest snatch catch. I don’t normally go for all this fashion and glitz, you know, except on my nights with the girls talking dumb boys and watching Project Runway. Still, there’s something about Jessica that makes me break so many of my normal rules. She’s hot!