Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba Booty Comes Into View in a Tattoo Parlor

Earlier, we got to see down Jessica'a top, now a view at the hot mommy bottom of Jessica Alba bending over in jeans in, of all places, a tattoo parlor. Now, I know what you're thinking, she's probably getting my initials and hers together in a heart with an arrow and maybe a 'will never happen' logo. I'm not completely sure. I do hate to think of her going with the wrong permanent selection, though a little ink on Jessica could be rather hot in the right places.

Until such time as we get to see those particular places, we'll be quite content just staring at her mom in jeans bottom, casually leaning forward as if to say, 'Hey, I'm Jessica Alba, I know damn well this is killing half the world, deal with this honest product.' Or maybe she's just resting. Still another lovely Alba-treat. Enjoy.

I Don’t Need a Lot to Keep Me Happy

I get this question all the time -- Bill, how did you get to be so handsome and generous and strong, like an ox, but with the tender heart of a wounded pussycat.

Of course, there is no single answer to this question. But I can tell you that the key to the happy part is all about being content with the simple pleasures in life. Sure, I'd like that yacht I've always talked about, and playing snake bite in the wild with the co-leads of 2 Broke Girls wouldn't be too shabby, but the real key to satisfaction is finding what you need in your own backyard. And if you happen to find Jessica Alba bending over in your backyard, why then, what else could you possibly need? Enjoy.

Heidi Klum, Kat Dennings, and Jessica Alba Highlight the Hotness at the 2014 People’s Choice Awards

I still have no clue who the people in the People's Choice Awards are, but that annual show the second week in January each year pretty much kicks off the A-list award show season, which means for the next six weeks you can anticipate a ton of glamorous looking hotties all decked out in their finest expensive frocks walking up and down the red carpet discussing the truly wonderful subject of self-importance. We once had a blogger award show but everybody who showed up was scruffy and doughy and wearing ironic T-shirts and not wanting to talk to each other. Albeit, it was slightly more real than the People's Choice Awards.

Despite the silliness of the award show concept, it does bring out the major league celebrity good-lookers, including last night, Heidi Klum, Jessica Alba, Beth Behrs, Kat Dennings, and Malin Akerman, who were my own Personal Choice Awards for best looking cleavage shows on the red carpet. Not that anybody would be slightly interested in that when they could be watching boy teens they've never heard of receive awards for something or other. What a night (to read about the next morning). Enjoy.

Katie Holmes, Ashley Tisdale, and Jessica Alba Black Pleather Miniskirt Weekend

As you might know, I'm something of a fashionista, known widely for my taste in haute couture, prêt-à-porter, and a bunch of other French type clothing words whose meaning escapes me at the moment. When three of my favorite sextastic celebrities appear in short black skirts over the weekend, I'm going to notice. I mean, I'm going to shake spasmodically, chew on a towel until I'm calm enough to function, then notice.

Katie Holmes was unusually high hem-lined in her little skirt at the Z100 Jingle Ball event in N.Y.:

While Ashley Tisdale sported her gladiator kilt and stockings shopping in Beverly Hills:

And, last, but most definitely not least, Jessica Alba, high-styled in an outfit which I'm sure cost more than my rent, but showed off her fine legs in boots to boot:

It was almost to much to bear, and yet not quite bare enough. It was in fact, very similar to a dream I have that involves me getting slapped across the face not twice but thrice for wandering hands. Thank you, ma'ams, may I have another? Enjoy.

Is It Wrong to Peek Down Jessica Alba’s Top? (That’s Rhetorical)

We get few chances these days to catch much skin on the stellar body of the MILFy Jessica Alba. What with her being a super mom and the head of a booming eco-friendly baby products Internet company and all. She's got to appear covered up and proper and prim and all the other forms so very antithetical to the very reasons we lust her deeply.

So, sue me (not literally, please, I'm not good with the whole truth thing) if I'm going to sneak a peek down Jessica's top at the park to catch a glimpse of the funbags she's clearly cut us off from. I'm not suggesting she owes us anything, just that like cats for whom milk has been put out on the porch nightly for years, we're going to whine here a bit when the dairy treats are suddenly cut off. And, we're going to be opportunistic oglers. Let Egotastic! be Egotastic! Enjoy.

READER FINDS: Amanda Righetti Topless, Ali Larter Crazy Hotness, Luisana Lopilato Young Modeling, and Much Much More…

 

After a week of near freezing 60-degree weather here in Tinsel Town, we are finally back to endless summer weather which means I need to be heading off to the beach soon with my binoculars, my cooler filled with Mike's Hard Lemonade and push-pops, and, of course, my stuffed otter, Mr. Cuoco. But I'm not even thinking of peeking at girls in bikinis in the offline world until I get some serious business done today. Like the responsibility of assembling the best of our highly enlightened and overly educated and deeply in college debt reader skintastic contributions. You guys (and super hot reader girls) really do give it up each week for each other in such a beautiful, giving, and deviant way. It's really quite touching.

This week's Reader Finds includes Jessica Alba leggy hot in a photoshoot from almost a decade ago now (classic Alba goodness from EgoReader 'Zach'), Ali Larter in not one, but two amazing Heroes-era promotional photoshoots (wicked Larter hotness by way of 'Stacey P.'), Cindy Crawford in a recent way overlooked sextastic photoshoot for Muse (mole-deliciousness provided by 'Erin'), Raquel Welch in a throwback classic see-through shoot from Harry Langdon (70's styling sweetness from 'Decker'), Pamela Anderson shot when she was also quite the young hot babe come to Hollywood (more throwback honey from 'Devon'), Amanda Righetti topless in not so horrific Angel Blade (cinematic funbags via 'Steve P.'), oft topless Britty actress Patsy Kensit flashing chestal heat on screen (yum yums delivered by 'Tony'), Dexter actress Julie Benz also quite funbag flashing on the big screen (courtesy of 'Robbie'), Sudamericana model hottie Coty Alvarez and her major league mams in a pool (muchas gracias para ellas to 'Ian D.'), pictures of lingerie model Luisana Lopilato when she was just starting out (corresponded nicely by 'Yorch'), Stacey Poole naughty nylons in the office (from the deviant mind of 'C.J.'), a hotel room photoshoot prep peek at Bella Thorne and a social media click of Kylie Jenner in a bikini (kudos to 'Marcos' for these two finds), and, last, but not least, to a million and one of you much savvier than I who noticed that we posted a picture of bikini water model Keyara accidentally flashing her two bare nips and forgot to call it out. Bad, Egotastic. Good Readers. Enjoy.

Jessica Alba Is the Sextastic Shape of Halloween

She may desperately try to look like every other mom in the pumpkin patch, but there's no covering up the uber-sextastic. Sorry Jessica Alba. You're simply not like every other mom.

When you go to pick out pumpkins, people are going to notice. Gourds are going to swell. When you pull your little wagon behind you, some of us can't help but imagine you are towing us back to your place for a forced mating session because you desire seventeen more babies. This is the dream. As prurient and as wrong as it is to have about the family friendly pumpkin patch. Jessica Alba, you are the Halloween trick and the treat. Pick me, please. Enjoy.