Jessica Alba

Heidi Klum, Brooklyn Decker, Charlize Theron, Jessica Alba Highlight the Hotness in US Weekly Hot Body Issues 2014

US Weekly may not be a periodical for the male of the species, or the thoughtful, but any magazine outlet that is putting together photos of sextastic celebrities for a collection of Hot Hollywood bodies is definitely worth perusing. Let's see here, Brooklyn Decker, Heidi Klum, Charlize Theron, Jessica Alba, Lea Michele, Sofia Vergara. Check check check, this sounds like the list I made for my imaginary pool party this summer.

While US weekly sort of compiled some existing photos of each of these crazy hot famous lady folk, I would certainly volunteer to update their hot body photos with some shots of my own taking with my fingers forming a square and me making a click sound as I tell the girls to make love to the camera, literally. I suppose this is why I lost my photographers license at the last hearing. Enjoy.

Jessica Alba Bikini Pictures Are Uber-Alba Hot in Entertainment Weekly

Okay, let's get some grantings out of the way. Like, granted, these bikini shots of Jessica Alba in Entertainment Weekly might just be touched up a bit on the software end. But let's also grant that Jessica Alba is one of the single best looking women in the world and just kills it in a bikini. I have no doubt the unaltered photos would give me a stiffee that lasts through Christmas '18. Okay, that was an overshare, but you get my point.

Jessica Alba is claiming in interviews now she never wanted or expected or even felt comfortable being a sex symbol coming up. Alas and alack, my dear, Jessica, it really wasn't your choice. You simply can't be this good looking and show off much of your crazy hot body without some reaction from the less fairer sex. Now, let's see those untouched photos if we could, pretty please. Enjoy.

Jennifer Garner, Jessica Alba, or Kim Kardashian, Who’s the Hottest Business Woman?

I'm a modern type of guy, so I fully support the lovely ladies of Celebrityville getting all decked out in their business attire to run their various ventures or attend their important meetings. I suppose you could say these ladies don't really need the paycheck to get by, but they do dress their finest to go and get it regardless, which makes me want to hold up a sign and walk in a march of some kind.

THis past weekend, Jennifer Garner, Jessica Alba, and Kim Kardashian all hit the streets of L.A. on their way to very important meetings. All three ladies spent some amount of time getting into their occupational wardrobe, looking mighty stellar. But, who is the most sextastic of our business ladies? Who is the woman you want to have that 80's soft-core Skinemax office romance with late night at the office? Who is looking the work-ready finest?

Who Was the Finest Looking Working Girl?

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Rita Ora, Nicki Minaj, Jessica Alba, Rihanna and More Hotties from the 2014 MTV Movie Awards Red Carpet

Let's be honest. There's really no reason for the MTV Movie Awards each year. MTV doesn't even run music anymore, let alone have movie coverage outside of paid advertisements. The show hasn't been fun since my fond memories of going with Tila Tequila to the red carpet to raise a ruckus and have Tila shot out her love for celebrity lady nest to all the MTV celebs.

Nevertheless, it's Viacom which means publicity and some fine looking babes pimping various projects and showing up all hot and bothered. Hot at least. The parade of sextastic ladies at this year's event included boobtastic Rita Ora, Rihanna, Jessica Alba, Nicki Minaj, Bella Thorne, Debby Ryan and others little bits of decked out delight. As for the show itself, let's just say checking out these good looking ladies is 99.9% of the entertainment value from the entire evening's events. Enjoy.

Jessica Alba Putting the Goods on Black and White Display in Sin City 2

Officially, Sin City: A Dame to Kill For. For the younger generation, the word 'dame' is what you used to call a girl when you had to take off five layers of her clothes just to get to her bush. Yes, I know, they had those too back then. Either way, Sin City 2 has Jessica Alba in not many clothes, which makes it an instant must-see flick this summer.

You can check out snapshots of Jessica Alba showing off in her bra in Sin City 2 on WWTDD.

Taylor Momsen Taped Up Frontal or Jessica Alba Down Top Jigglers, Which Do I Yearn For More?

Do you know me?  Do you really know me? I'm not sure anybody besides my mom, my psychic, and my obese cat, Mr. Wonderful, really know me inside and out. For instance, if given the choice between being the man who gets to remove the tape from the body of young punky bad girl Taylor Momsen or being able to motorboat Jessica Alba and her fine mommy at the park knockers, which would I choose?

No, this is not a trick question. It is one of these two most delicious and individually dreamy options. I will reveal my answer at the end of the day on Egotastic! Facebook. That's called a tease. And not a very deft one at that. Enjoy.

Jessica Alba Goes Snakeskin Miniskirt to Make You Look

You can't really help leer at Jessica Alba, even when she's in mommy housewife mode. Especially when she's out and about in a short snakeskin skirt that triggers between one and one thousand Alba fantasy moments. She's not even trying, or, maybe, just a little, but looking so mighty fine every guy in the street is cranking their neck to see her run her errands.

Jessica Alba was one of the many celebrity ladies invited to the Gwen Steffani baby shower in L.A, running around grabbing presents and fineries and whatever else you bring to a baby shower. Sadly, I've never been invited, even to the sweet lesbionic couples to whom I donate my reproductive services. But if they're filled with girls who look like Jessica Alba in miniskirts, I'd sure like to attend. Enjoy.