It struck me this weekend that we live in such wonderful times. Not only do we have a tremendous crop of new and up and coming hotties, but just when you think you’ve perhaps lost one of the big names in sextastic, blammo, here comes Jessica Alba again with two fists full of MILFtastic to destroy any hope you had of winning ‘the contest’ this month.
Above you can see Jessica behind the scenes of her new Maxim photoshoot. So very hot. Okay, it is E! Channel, and they are now officially stealing my lingo, I think that speaks poorly of all of us, but there is Jessica Alba all sultry on the beach, you really must see.
And, of course, the very long awaited Sin City 2: A Dame to Kill For, is almost done awaiting for. In the very least, peak your interest with a peek at Jessica Alba chock full of showing off graphic novel style in the extended grown up person trailer. It really looks ever so good. And Jessica, well, she needs no introduction. Enjoy.
The uber-sextastic Jessica Alba made her way down to Comic-Con with the entire rest of Hollywood to pimp her latest project for the day. That being Sin City 2: A Dame to Die For on one of the conventions many panels where the nerds sweat feverishly in the audience while the panel takes some patsy questions that lets them pimp the shizz out of their movie and then get home before they stink of Old Spice and cheese on a stick.
Naturally, Jessica manages to look crazy lust inducing without going full bore show off like many of the costumed ladies at the same event. When in Rome, act like an aristocrat and you will stand out. And Jessica and her bare midriff and hot looks definitely make an impression. Fortunately no fan boys were injured dropping from the ceiling above her. Or, I should so, nobody cared when they were injured. Jessica, so hot. Do tease. Enjoy.
When ESPN announced that Drake would be hosting the 2014 ESPY awards, I kind of felt that pang in my stomach like, oh, know, I’m off-demo for the ESPYs. Not that I’m not a monster Drake fan, his face above my bed next to Justin and the boys from One Direction. Still, I felt old. Thankfully, the hotties on the red carpet came quickly along and made me feel young in the soul and nether regions again.
The lineup of sextastic celebrities at the ESPY’s wavers from year to year, but there’s always some significant highlights. Like this year, Jessica Alba, the uber-sextastic MILF who can do no wrong, and Chrissy Teigen, whose new pea-henning of her burgeoning ta-ta’s has been a true delight these past few months. The duo weren’t they only lovely ladies in attendance, but after they did arrive, I had to hit the cold shower for 97 minutes to get back into caring about sports mode. The ESPY’s have flailed a bit, but there’s nothing a solid dose of the sextastic can’t make you forget about. Enjoy.
Jessica Alba, how you do giveth and I taketh away from that so greedily. The uber-sextastic MILFtastic took a family vacation down Mexico way to explore the warm waters down South and soak in a little sun in her multiple bikinis on her still so epically hot body, including her little white and black number (above) and her snorkeling white and blue hotness:
Jessica may be the conservative PTA business mom these days, and the scarves often cover her entire female form, but there’s no containing the sextastic for any extended period of time. It’s a natural nuclear type reaction with pressure that needs to be released from time to time with hot outfits and little showy bikinis clinging to her sweet boobtastic and mommy cheeks. And thank goodness for that. These little bikini shows keep the Alba fires burning well into the libido for time everlasting. Enjoy.
Maybe it’s just being in the heart of summer, maybe it’s winning some cash on Germany taking the World Cup, but I’m feeling very optimistic for this coming week in the particular area of sextastic celebrity. Just look what happened over the weekend and you’ll see the basis for my optimism. Karolina Kurkova had her skirt blown up in Italy and she was either wearing a G-string or nothing at all, Kelly Brook smooshed her boobs up so fluffy there’s no way any guys got any real work in at her gym, and Jessica Alba decided it was time for a bikini vacation down Mexico way and, well, you’ll see much more of that a little later today.
I’m a glass is half full kind of guy. With so many hot women showing so much skin these days, if you’re glass is half-empty, you’re just not opening your eyes wide enough to the wonderful wide world of ridiculously alluring women. Make this your best week of ogling ever. You’re extremities will thank you later. Enjoy the week ahead.
Oh, talk about firecrackers in your pants. It’s the relatively rare sighting these days of Jessica Alba in a bikini top prancing about Malibu beach for the holiday weekend. Okay, so maybe she’s just prancing in my mind, being that she’s now a very restrained and mommy business woman, but Jessica Alba shall be forever prancing in my mind. That body. Oh, that body. That’s more than all the cherry bombs and M-80′s blowing up the watermelons of my libido.
Just one of the all-time best flying her boobtastic flags for Independence Day greatness. I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate our nation’s birthday than Jessica Alba bikini goodies on the sunny beach. Well, watching her put on her bikini might be nice, but I don’t like to get greedy with birthday presents. Enjoy.