Jennifer Metcalfe

Jennifer Metcalfe Crazy Hot Brunette Bikini Goodness in Dubai

Dubai looks like a happening place. I hear it’s like the Laughlin of the Middle East, if Laughlin were crazy ass expensive and employed slave labor. But the beaches look nice as does the high class celebrity vacationers, the likes of Britty brunette soap star Jennifer Metcalfe who unveiled once crazy fine bikini body along the desert shoreline. Damn, I just looked again. I’m reminded of a beach vacation I once took with a girl who looked just like Jennifer that actually didn’t take place in the real world, but in virtual space. Someday, those virtual vacation girlfriends will be so real, you’ll hardly notice you’re trying to lick sand off the thigh of a hologram.

Jennifer Metcalfe, I have me eyes on you. Please tell me this is a multi-bikini vacation. You have so much more to give. Enjoy.

Jennifer Metcalfe Booty in a Tight Dress at TRIC Awards in London

The MTV Europe Music Awards Almost Entirely Craptastic Save For A Patch of Sextastic

A couple months ago, I was trying to think about what could possibly be worse than the the MTV Music Awards, what with all the Jersey Shore pimping and Justin Bieber pretending to be lesbian gangsta and the shout-out to horribly craptastic pop music acts popular among young girls who wear scented lip gloss and whose high school ambition is to be invited to the Rainbow Party at Lisa’s house. Well, I totally forgot about the MTV Europe Music Awards. Let’s face it, Europe, you’re pretty cool in so many areas. We respect your liberal views on sexuality and nudity, your regionally delicious cuisines, and the way you haven’t told Greece to go eff itself quite yet, but when it comes to craptastic teeny bopper music, you may even have the ole U.S. beatdown in an auto-tuned showdown. Throw in the fact that MTV brought over some of its D-listers from America to complement the evening, and the MTV Europe Music Awards were a pure and unadulterated ode to the obnoxious.

That is, save for the hotties. Not much, oh, not much, but definitely some sporadic bits of super awesome, not the least of which were supermodel and finally get sexed again, Bar Refaeli, fellow international drop dead sexy bomb, Irina Shayk, J-Woww (okay, Jersey Shore but let’s give it up for how they’ve made her over), Selena Gomez, and the more locally brewed hotness of Jennifer Metcalfe. Outside of this pocket of heat, not so much. Even the guy who streaked across the stage during the show was limp. Enjoy.

Is Jennifer Metcalfe Britain’s Hottest Soap Star?

Jennifer Metcalfe from Hollyoaks is always sexy neck and neck these days with Michelle Keegan of Coronation Street for hottest U.K. soap opera actress, and, well, consider the epic battle between the two super-hotties upped to a new level with this Jennifer Metcalfe sexy swimsuit/lingerie pictorial, flashing the super twenty-something body and looks that make her a perennial contender for the title. Why all the hot  thespianics seem to be flocking to programs not oft-watched by manfolk, well, it’s an inexplicable phenomenon that bears deeper and and more intense private-time investigation by yours truly. Enjoy.

Hollyoaks Hottie Jennifer Metcalfe Is Pimping Hot in Black Leather

Yes, Jennifer Metcalfe appears to be pimping motorcycle insurance, but, heck, from a sexy hot brunette in black leather I’d buy motorcycle insurance, and I don’t even own a motorcycle (because when you ride cool, you ride Corolla!).

For those not familiar with Hollyoaks, it’s yet another boobtastic Britty soap with sexy hot limey types running about in bikini tops and skimpy things. Chief among these dark angels is the afore-bike-straddled Jennifer Metcalfe, who got voted ‘sexiest’ at the most recent Jolly Old Soap Awards this year, and, well deserving I might add. That body, those boobs, that leather. Sometimes, advertisements are simply not fair. Enjoy.