Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez American Idol Cleavetastic Appearance

Jennifer Lopez has more than got it. She done got it. And got it all over. Including some truly wonderful cleavage she was showing off at an American Idol event in Los Angeles. I’m not sure what the event was, perhaps the American Idol funeral if we should be so lucky, but I’m guessing more so a promotional event for the umpteenth upcoming season. That show may never die a natural death. Still, it brings us such wonderments as Jennifer Lopez and her MILFtastic sweet views in showy gowns throughout the year. That’s more than enough to get me to stop bitching about craptastic television I only have to watch when visiting my niece.

Jennifer Lopez, don’t every let anybody tell you to start wearing more clothes. They’re wrong. Enjoy.

Jennifer Lopez Asstastic Wild on Stage in Singapore

Jennifer Lopez has quite the life. She’s somewhere in the world on any given day flashing her amazing MILFtastic thumper on stage half-nekkid and lip-synching into a microphone for screaming fans. That’s not too shabby as far as careers go. Not that it beats blogging, but it’s close.

Of course, to make this lifestyle work, you need to be in your 40′s with the asstastic of a 20-year old booty model. And J-Lo delivers that whacking thwacking booty every single time she hits the stage. They’re not coming for the auto-tuned music. They’re coming to see the butt slapping goodness. Okay, like one kid is coming for the music. But he probably gets made fun of at school. Enjoy.

Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea Epic Wet and Oiled Thumper Duet in Booty

Wow, I mean, just wow. If you happen to call yourself an assman, which actually is how my business card line item for occupation reads, then you have to be a fan of Jennifer Lopez and Iggly Azalea in the new music video Booty. Granted, the music is rather silly and contrived and been done a million times, but the sight of J-Lo and Iggy Azalea slapping curvy bottom sides together, not to mention their own, well, the French call this magnifique I believe.

I know the rumors are that Iggy might be artificially sweetening her arse, but I’ve always felt that Jennifer was one of those lucky birds who inherited and trained her finely curved derriere. Either way, not the kind of questions I ask while watching two women pretend to make out and then rub their oiled down cheeks against one another to make beautiful music. There is a time for talk and there is a time for silent drooling. This would be the latter. Enjoy.

J-Lo in Jeans, Yep, It’s Still Working

I suppose there comes a day for every woman when men no longer crank their necks to peek at their booties in jeans. That day is still a good way’s off for Jennifer Lopez. One of the original jean bottom filling pop divas, twenty years later J-Lo is still working her derriere into a pair of form fitting jeans with the best of the MILFs on the streets of Manhattan.

While the sextastic celebrities we follow work themselves into thousand of complicated designer outfits and haute couture, there may be no better measure of their enduring ogling worthy success than how they look in a simple pair of jeans. Okay, maybe not the $35 pairs I buy, but just plain old jeans nonetheless. Jennifer, you can work my ranch girl fantasy-scape anyday. Let’s go rope them doggies and spend an evening under the stars with me convincing you to get out of that denim. I’ve got the Willie Nelson mix tape all ready to go to enhance the mood. Enjoy.

Jennifer Lopez Sexy Legs in a Short Blue Dress in NYC

Jennifer Lopez Has More Than Still Got the Booty Chops at Fashion Rocks

Let’s be honest, fashion doesn’t rock. Fashion might pop. Fashion might hip hop. And fashion might adult contemporary. But fashion clearly does not rock. Nevertheless, I’m definitely paying attention to a New York Fashion event when Jennifer Lopez and her hot mommy booty are the prime attraction.

Jennifer took to the stage in Brooklyn to celebrate the convergence of mad music and mad fashion by not really being musical talented or wearing many clothes, none of which mattered when she started shaking that magical thumper of hers in reverse to the audience. Wow, they should have a big week in New York just celebrating Jenny’s asstastic. I’d go to that. In loose shorts. Jennifer, you remain a veteran hottie two-cheeked wonder. Bless you. Enjoy.

Watch Jennifer Lopez Get Busy with a Teenager in ‘The Boy Next Door’ Trailer

trailer for the boy next door starring jennifer lopez
Steamy housewife fantasy turns into obsession thriller...

For those of you who stopped reading the headline of this post after busy, I’m sorry to inform you that, no, this is not about a Jennifer Lopez sex tape. It’s about a trailer for a new mainstream feature film called The Boy Next Door, directed by Rob Cohen and starring Lopez, Kristen Chenowith, John Corbett, and some ridiculously good-looking 26-year-old guy named Ryan Guzman who we’re all supposed to believe is in high school.

The plot? Well you start out thinking it’s going to be some kind of desperate housewife drama where a sad suburban mom rediscovers her joie de vivre in the muscly arms of the innocent boy next door. However, about halfway through the trailer you learn the boy next door, while muscly, is anything but innocent. At that point the film turns into a psychological thriller that you just know is going to leave a bunch of people dead or seriously injured.

In theory it all sounds pretty entertaining. But of course, the law of averages suggest it probably won’t be.

The Boy Next Door hits theaters January 23, 2015.