You know I have mixed feelings on the topic of Jennifer Aniston boobtastic. On one hand, I regret ever buying into the former Friends star’s lies about bravely appearing topless in now about five movies in which she does not appear topless. At the same time, I’d elbow any one of you in the mandible to get to the front of the line to love, nurture, and suckle at the tasty teats on this veteran hottie. Such is the conflict of the Egotastic! man. It’s not easy being a super horny cowbody.
Jennifer was showing off her pushed up racktacular pretty swell like at the Toronto Film Festival screening of Life of Crime. When you get past the public relations machine and image coordinators and handlers and Jen’s own bullshit, she really is a rather attractive woman for any age. Jen, call me, I’ve got Canadian dollars still I need to spend. I can be up there in a few hours. Enjoy.
The thing about major motion picture strippers is that they never quite strip. That does reduce some of the underlying allure. On the other hand, seeing the likes of Jennifer Aniston in We’re the Millers and Vanessa Hudgens in Frozen Ground, both playing strippers who stop short of removing their bras and panties, well, still quite ogle-worthy.
Two superfine sextastic ladies down to their skivvies writhing around for our cinematic pleasure. Yes, I’ll take that. But which of the two does it better? That’s for you to decide.
Jennifer Aniston deserves a vacation. I believe she’s made twenty movies in the past two years, or something like that. It’s been a lot, nobody sees most of them so it’s hard to remember the entire list. But, she’s tired. And she needs some R&R. So why not slip off to Mexico for a little suntanning with her fiance slash boyfriend slash placeholder until her next co-star romance.
And slip off Jennifer has. Her clothes mostly, down to another bikini for today’s poolside adventures. I’m a big Jennifer Aniston ogling fan so I’m even willing to look past the fact she’s wearing my grandma’s glasses and just focus on what it might be like to be Jen’s next co-star fling. Six months of making the sexy followed some long talk about how she’s still not over Brad and may never be. Free scrumping time always has to come to an end, it’s best if the lady calls it off, I say in my extremely unlimited experience. Enjoy.
I’m not sure if it’s the yoga or the Pilates or the healthy diet or the just being almost sort of kind of getting engaged or married or something, but Jennifer Aniston continues to look like a million (or ten million a movie) bucks in her bikinis, caught this time by our long range palm tree photo commandos down Cabo way once more.
I’m not exactly sure why they keep putting Jennifer in more and more movies, and I’m not exactly sure why she keeps saying she’s going to flash her upper body in these films but never does, but one thing you can not take away from the former Friends star — a slamming 40-something body that is must see when out hanging by a pool on vacation. That, you can never take away from her, though I would like to share it with her for about five minutes of deeply passionate embrace. Enjoy.
The red band trailer for We’re the Millers went live today and — wait — is that an inflated ball sack!?
Yes. Yes it is. No worries, though, there’s plenty of bare Jennifer Aniston to make up for it. There there, take a look at that sweet, stripping former Friend. All better now? Good.
Minus the swollen scrote, this is the best trailer we’ve seen all year. All of it’s awesomeness rests on the fact that Aniston is a stripper impersonating a MILF who ends up stripping…or something. Funny people are in it being funny. A killer whale eats a dolphin. And Aniston is about to hook up with a lady in a tent. Fine, twist our arms, we’re watching it again.
Wow, Swifty, good show my girl.
Fresh off the heels of her latest, greatest, and most chaste boyfriend breakup with some dude I’ve never heard of though he’s in a band, Taylor Swift decided, what the heck, lets make lemonade out of lemons by dressing all grow’d up and flashing her own pair of personal fruits on the red carpet of the People’s Choice Awards last night. Now, I’m still not quite clear what the hell the People’s Choice Award are, but they hold them every year in early January, they kick off the ‘Hey, I’m Awesome’ celebrity self-fapitation award season, and by the looks of the winners, I’d say the ‘People’ in question are young teenage girls. But, deal with it, those girls run America.
And they brought us Taylor Swift looking hotter than ever before, along with Kaley Cuoco, Jennifer Aniston, Emma Watson, and Lea Michele, all decked out for the crimson strut past the photographers. Maybe next year we’ll finally take a moment to figure out what this awards show is, this year we’re just going to leer at Taylor’s ta-tas. Enjoy.