Jenna Jameson

Jenna Jameson Pops Out of Cake, Sits On Cake, Does Not Eat Cake

Rule #1: Just because Jenna Jameson quit acting in porn, doesn’t mean she quit acting like a skank. Rule #2: Just because Jenna Jameson popped out of a cake, doesn’t mean she’s going to eat any of it.

The former porn queen, and walking testement to everything that’s wrong with plastic surgery popped out of a cake at the brithday party for her boyfriend, caveman Tito Ortiz. She then proceded to do a dance, and sit on said cake, which I hope was fake, for the sake of anyone at the party who might actually eat the thing.

I feel kind of sorry for the Tito, though. While I doubt he could really get any woman he wanted, he could club some girl over the head and drag her home, and still do much better than the completely used up, and tossed away Jenna Jameson. Maybe he just enjoys the irony of the fact that the bigger he gets, the thinner she gets.

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Plenty of “Golden Globes” at the AVN Awards

The big story last night was the cancellation of the Golden Globe Awards, or rather the non-cancellation of the show. Instead of having a big red carpet, and lavish awards show, the winners were announced in ridiculously boring press conference. Anyone who actually watched that show must really have had absolutely nothing better to do. This was one year when you could definitely just check the winners on the the Globes’ website, and you wouldn’t have missed a single thing.

But, if you really need your fix of Award Show red carpet hoopla, there was another ceremony going on last night. Just down the road in Las Vegas, the AVN Awards were being handed out. And if you didn’t know, we’re talking about the Porn awards. Yes, the award show madness has gotten so bad, that even Porn Stars want their long, hard, shiny, metal awards (but probably for different reasons).

Many of your favourite Porn Stars were in attendance, including the now scary Jenna Jameson, Tera Patrick, Jenna Haze, Stormy Daniels, Monique Alexandre, Belladonna, Charmaine Star, Sasha Grey, Justine Joli, Mary Carey, Sunny Luv, Rebecca Linares, and many other of Porn’s “finest.” Oh, don’t pretend like you don’t know who they are…

Alright, so it’s not exactly the same caliber as the real Golden Globes, but it’s better than nothing, right? Lots more pictures from the AVN Awards after the jump.

Photo credit: Splash
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Jenna Jameson: Undead Plastic Zombie Lady

Boy am I glad Jenna Jameson quit doing porn. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a scarier undead plastic zombie lady in my life. Well, maybe I have, but not by much, and that’s still not a good thing for Jenna Jameson. Forget fake boobs. She’s got fake lips, fake skin, fake hair, and now that I can see her bones, I’m pretty sure those are fake too.

Seriously, I am so happy she’s not doing porn anymore.

More of Jenna Jameson’s expressionless plastic zombie face after the jump.

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Jenna Jameson Uses Her Tongue

 

Jenna Jameson was at one time the biggest porn star in the world, but now she’s not. And we’re thankful. After seeing Jenna Jameson bikini pictures in which she looks like an anorexic Simpson’s cartoon version of herself, we had already lost any appreciation we might have had for the once sexy star. Add to that the fact that she removed her breast implants, and well, there isn’t much left to like (not that we actually like breast implants around here).

But this moment of passion between Jenna Jameson and boyfriend Tito Ortiz is by far the most disgusting image I’ve seen of her in my life. I’m not even going to go into it. It’s just gross. I’ve even decided to cover the offending kiss, to spare the eyes of those more delicate readers. If you want to lose your lunch, click the thumbnails to see the big pictures.

Photo credit: Pacific Coast News

Jenna Jameson’s Breasts Implants Are Out

If you haven’t heard, the big news in the Porn industry is that mega star Jenna Jameson removed her breasts implants, and is officially retiring from acting in porn movies (at least until she decides to make a comeback). She isn’t quitting the biz completely, though, as she will still be heading up her $30 Million ClubJenna website. The (former) adult actress spoke to Us Magazine, and had this to say:

“When I had implants, I felt uncomfortable. I would be shy at the beach. I know it sounds funny, but I’d wear high-necked clothes – unless I was at an adult-film convention. So I thought, Why don’t I be who I am and get my real ones back?”

“Even for women with naturally large boobs, getting a reduction is so freeing. I feel like I can stand up straighter…before, when I jogged, I had to hold my boobs. I looked like I was molesting myself!”

“The first thing I did when I got home was open my bra. I wasn’t supposed to but I did. I was so happy, I cried. It was like looking into the mirror when I was 17.”

“I had my surgery while he was in Iraq on a USO tour. He was so excited: ‘I’m coming home to brand new boobies.’”

Now, you may remember that just last week, we posted some Jenna Jameson bikini pictures, and the comments were a little harsh, to say the least. And as it turns out, somewhat incorrect, as Jenna’s friend Jen Brown, pointed out in an email she sent to Egotastic! She wrote:

Hello,

I’m emailing in response to your post about Jenna Jameson.
I work for Jenna and am also a close friend of hers. I feel as though your post is very harsh and is stating some facts which are untrue. Might you consider removing the post for a less negative one?

Jenna’s got feelings too…

Please get back to me at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,
Jen Brown

So I guess I do owe Jenna Jameson an apology. As it turns out, her breasts are no longer filled with plastic. Her face however, remains a mystery, and if she loses any more weight, the only thing left on her will be those lips. And yes, I know Jenna has feelings, but, in theory, so does every other celebrity that’s featured on this blog, and if I’m nice to one, I have to be nice to everybody else…

Here are some before and after pictures of Jenna Jameson. Can you tell which ones are which? More pictures after the jump.

Photo credit: Splash
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Jenna Jameson’s Bikini is Filled with Plastic, and so is Her Face

I don’t know quite how to say this, so I’m just going to say it. Jenna Jameson is dead and has been replaced by an evil cyborg clone that likes to dance on the beach in a bikini with her dog. Or at least I think that’s what happened, because I can’t think of anything else that would explain the way Jenna Jameson looks.

Oh wait, maybe she’s just gone crazy and thinks that being anorexically skinny, getting a bucket full of fat injected into her lips, and having her eyes pulled back around the other side of her head is actually a good look. No, it’s got to be the evil cyborg clone thing. Or maybe she’s a real life Simpsons cartoon.

All I know is Jenna Jameson looks very scary. I, for one, am glad she isn’t doing porn movies anymore, because I think they’d have to put her in the Shemale section now (or the Daffy Duck section, if they have one). Also, notice the tape that’s keeping her over-inflated breasts up for the photoshoot she’s doing. I guess even silicone starts to sag…

More Jenna Jameson bikini pictures after the jump, if you can bear to look.

Photo credit: Pacific Coast News
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Paris Hilton and Jenna Jameson Together at Last

If you’re a fan of the TV show Heroes, you know that the Peter Petrelli character has the ability to absorb the powers of other heroes, but that if he absorbs too many powers at once, he will explode in a nuclear reaction.

Well, I think the same is true for Paris Hilton. Except, instead of absorbing super powers, she absorbs Skankiness. And right now, I’m really scared that having Paris Hilton in such close proximity to Jenna Jameson might cause a similar nuclear explosion. Or at the very least an unstoppable mutant Herpes epidemic.

Just look at them, though. Those two were made for each other. The lady in the back knows what’s up though. She’s trying to warn them, but they just won’t listen.

More pictures of Paris Hilton and Jenna Jameson after the jump.

Photo credit: Splash
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