I’ve always felt there was something wrong with me, like I didn’t quite fit in, like I was different than everybody else, but I knew that someday, I’d discover that I had special powers that would explain my feelings of isolation and loneliness. But that never happened. Turns out that just nobody wanted to play with me (except for Mr. Sanders, the kindly local public librarian, but that is a story for a different day).
I’m kind of geeked to see X-Men: First Class. I’ve dug the series, you know, forgetting the third installment, and this prequel looks like it avoids the cinematic origin story dumpfest that was Star Wars Episode 1. Plus, of course, there’s the hottie factor. Jennifer Lawrence was sadly unavailable for the N.Y.C. premiere of the film last night, but underrated halfsies Hebrew school hottie, Zoe Kravitz, and the quite noticeably pregnant (maybe or maybe not at the hands, err, hands, of Claudia Schiffer’s husband) sexy Mad woman, January Jones, were in attendance to kick off the fanboy faptastic film adventure. Yep, I’m lining up soon. Enjoy.
January Jones is quite alluring. (FoxNews)
Kim Cattrall strips off her clothes. (HuffPo)
Gwen Stefani storms France. (GlobalGrind)
Every gamer’s first two crushes. (CollegeHumor)
Elisabetta Canalis in bikini bottoms. (Popoholic)
Pictures of hot chicks. (Break)
Ivanka Trump dresses like Playboy Bunny. (GossipCop)
Well, yes, of course, I’m an obvious suspect, albeit, I’m not sure that sitting in my La-Z-Boy ogling sexy January Jones pictures can actually cause her to become pregnant. Everybody kind of has written off former boyfriend, Jason Sudeikis, as the DNA donor, so who?
The Mad Men hottie is not exactly without suitors. Off the top of my head, I can name a couple billion dudes who’d like to at least take a stab at putting January Jones in a motherly way. She was showing off the new life in her belly last night at the Lakers game, where she treated her unborn to courtside seats against the Mavs. Decent start to being a mommy. Still, the search for who banged January Jones into future MILF status continues, while I will continue to try and get Jessica Biel pregnant using only locked bathroom concentration and a copy of her old school Gear magazine photos. Enjoy.
Alyson Hannigan nipple pokes. (DrunkenStepfather)
January Jones bites the dust. (HuffPo)
Former Miss USA gets felt up. (TMZ)
Princess Kate Middleton lands on hottie list. (FoxNews)
Megan Fox angelically hot. (TheSuperficial)
Hot chicks in bikinis. (Break)
Pippa Middleton vs. Chelsy Davy. (GossipCop)
Audrina Patridge goes see-through to the bra for TSA ease of inspection (Celebuzz)
Reese Witherspoon strokes a mighty trunk. (FoxNews)
Kristen Bell sweet bikini body. (Celebuzz)
January Jones is scary sexy. (HuffPo)
Zooey Deschanel at her hottest. (CityRag)
Kate Upton teases with her mouth. (DrunkenStepfather)
Sofia Vergara squeezes into some tight pants. (Popoholic)
Elsa Pataky perfect bikini goodness. (WWTDD)
I can never get enough of January Jones. I mean, we’ve only barely begun our virtual stalker relationship where I adore every inch of her amazing body and she pretends she doesn’t even know my name. What a minx. So when the hottie from Mad Men popped up (no pun intended) in not one, not two, but three magazine pictorials this month, well, April suddenly became very sexy January. Check out the array of sweet awesome J.J. on display in the Sunday Times magazine, Marie Claire, and M2 magazine and see if you don’t want to start an unhealthy virtual relationship of your own with January Jones. Enjoy.
Yesterday, at approximately the same time, hottie actress January Jones, swimsuit modeling wet and perfect Molly Sims, and I all went to the gym. Of course, I beelined to the juice bar to get a guava and Ketel One, while the other two ladies went to work their sweet asstastic into a frenzy of body moistness that would ultimately require me to take a second, nay, third shot of Guava One to calm the eyeball-driven male nervous system. But, to see these two sweat in their stretch pants? It’s like how I envision heaven to be.
Which one of these two sexy celebs would you rather watch bend, roll, bounce, climb, roll, and step their way into lust-inducing body shapes? There is no wrong answer. Enjoy.
Photo credit: INF Photo