Jaime King

Jaime King Cleavage and Nina Dobrev Hotness Highlight the Women in Television Celebration

Why not celebrate women in television? With these fine smoking hot ladies, why not celebrate women coming to my abode because they’re boyfriend broke up with them and their looking for tawdry, meaningless sex with a man that will surely leave their boyfriend scratching his head. I’m that guy. Oh, Jaime King cleavage come and be my play toy.

Jaime was joined by hotties Nina Dobrev, Jenna Dewan Tatum and other hotties at this magical gathering of ladies honoring ladies for being ladies. I think I love that idea. We really don’t need such a thing for guys. I’m certainly not going. I hope they discussed my Boob Tube Roundup and how to get on it. The qualifications are ever so simple. Jaime, just open up your dress top a tad bit more and you’re in. I don’t do complicated. Just simply sextastic. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash

Nicola Peltz and Gigi Hadid Hold Hands Because That’s Just What Hotties Do at Luncheons

Oh, I do so love when the hotties get together for a summer luncheon. Even in the middle of winter. Lovely petite hottie celebrities in white and summer dresses for the W Magazine something something party in Beverly Hills. Tis the season for magazine sponsored parties and celebrities winning all kinds of awards just like you and I do regularly for our jobs. Hasn’t your boss handed you a shiny gold-plated trophy recently? Okay, my last one was AYSO fifth grade as well. Still, if the accolades bring out the girls like the wildly alluring Nicola Peltz, Gigi Hadid, Jaime King, and Sarah Hyland who didn’t remove her coat due to the weather, but which gave us a chance to really use our imagination noodles as to what lay beneath. Noodle isn’t a euphemism for brain, I actually have a noodle I keep here in my office to foster imagination.

I don’t know exactly how I get these girls to show up to my own luncheons. I keep cutting the crust off the cucumber sandwiches but nobody shows so I end up feeding them to my dog, Mr. Fetishworth, who has a look in his eye as if he’s going to consume me in my sleep. The trick might be owning a magazine, a magazine for women specifically. I wonder if Jugs Women is already trademarked. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash

Jaime King Nipple Pokes In A Pink Swimsuit In Maui

Actress Jaime King was a bit nippy in a one-piece pink swimsuit while on vacation in Maui. Jaime must have been pretty chilly as she was sporting some serious nipple wood. It looks like she has two jumbo-sized novelty pencil erasers stuffed in her bathing suit top. Jaime’s knockers are the very definition of pert, which is pretty amazing given that she just had a kid. A lot of new moms are losing their battle with gravity, if you get what I’m saying. Not Jaime. Her girls are as perky as a 20-year-old sorority girl. What nobody tells you when you go swimming in the Pacific ocean for the first time is how friggin’ cold it is. This leads to all kinds of pokey nipple situations for both sexes and potential shrinkage embarrassment for men.

I’m used to the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico and Atlantic where a man can swim without fear of looking like a eunuch through his swim trunks.

Jaime King Sports A Psychedelic Swimsuit

Actress and model Jaime King got all, like, psychedelic in a one-piece bathing suit. I stared at it for a while and I realized we’re all one organism living in the petri dish of the universe. No, but seriously she looks friggin’ hot. Sure, it would be nice if she was in a bikini, but sometimes it’s nice to be teased with what you don’t see. What’s really amazing is that she just had a baby a few months ago and she got her figure back. Carrying around a baby in her belly did nothing on her waistline. What is most showcased in these pictures is her lovely long legs. She has some bitchin’ thighs.

Yeah, I said bitchin’. Her legs are so hot that I had to go back to the 80′s in a time machine to find an adjective that could properly sum up how incredible her legs are.

Jessica Alba, Sara Jean Underwood, and Aubrey O’Day Among the Hotties Showing Off in This Week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup

It’s something like a phenomenon, baby. These hot celebrities just can’t stop celebrating their own hotness by way of Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, and other media where they get to control what goes out there of their own image. And, by control, I mean they simply can’t get enough of showing themselves off to the general public. Without egos, there’d be no Egotastic!

This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes the precious delights of Jessica Alba and Sofia Vergara partying together on Cinco De Mayo, Sara Jean Underwood flashing her every ready cleavage, Adrianne Curry in some memorably revealing poses, Aubrey O’Day showing lots of nekkid butt, and so much more goodness, it must be seen to be be-lusted. Enjoy.

Sextastic Twitpic Roundup Includes Rihanna Naughty, Kendall Jenner Booty, Kate Upton See-Through, and Much Much More…

A wise man might have predicted a year ago that the phenomenon of celebrities taking naughty or alluring photos of themselves would have slowly died down, what with all the public and private and backchannel scandals. Thankfully, Egotastic! has no wise men among us. We knew the trend was headed right in the opposite direction. Not only did we predict it, we lit candles and prayed for it.

This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes just a bevy of self-photo’ed celebrity hotness including Rihanna making it rain in a naughty strip club manner, Kendall Jenner in an impossibly tight dress and a bikini, Ashley Tisdale bikini vacation photos, Kate Upton see-through top, and just a bunch more self-published pics that you really must see from a bunch of famous chicks who lust themselves almost as much as you do. Enjoy.

Sextastic Twitpic Roundup Includes Self-Published Hotness from Sofia Vergara, Kelly Brook, Katy Perry, and Much More…

What would you say if I told you there were some amazingly candid sextastic pictures available from the likes of uber-hotties Jessica Alba, Sofia Vergara, Kelly Brook, Candace Bailey, Danielle Lloyd, and Katy Cocktease? And what if I told you, they snapped and sent out these photos all by themselves, for the love of spreading personal ogle-worthiness to the world? Well, you might thank the combination of ego (not Egotastic!, just plain old ego) and Twitter/Facebook/Tumblr for providing an outlet for such ego.

Check out all those delicious self-published denizens of Hottieville and much more in this week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup. Enjoy.