No sextastic celebrity can resist the allure of self-published social media hottie pics. It’s simply just too powerful a temptation. Even Iggy Azalea who I believe quit social media several weeks ago is back with a new photo. It’s the biggest game in town and girls with big egos are simply not going to miss it. Thankfully so.
This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes a series of beautiful women barely covered including Amanda Cerny, Gisele Bundchen, Emily Didonato, and Jaime King, not to mention a noteworthy appearance from Kylie Jenner racktastic and Anastasia Ashley asstastic. It’s quite a thing. Chock full of goodies that won’t rot your teeth, just the happy parts of your mind. You owe it to your March Madness bracket which is about to become scrap paper to check out each and every one of these passion inducing personal uploads. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Instagram
Why not celebrate women in television? With these fine smoking hot ladies, why not celebrate women coming to my abode because they’re boyfriend broke up with them and their looking for tawdry, meaningless sex with a man that will surely leave their boyfriend scratching his head. I’m that guy. Oh, Jaime King cleavage come and be my play toy.
Jaime was joined by hotties Nina Dobrev, Jenna Dewan Tatum and other hotties at this magical gathering of ladies honoring ladies for being ladies. I think I love that idea. We really don’t need such a thing for guys. I’m certainly not going. I hope they discussed my Boob Tube Roundup and how to get on it. The qualifications are ever so simple. Jaime, just open up your dress top a tad bit more and you’re in. I don’t do complicated. Just simply sextastic. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Splash
Oh, I do so love when the hotties get together for a summer luncheon. Even in the middle of winter. Lovely petite hottie celebrities in white and summer dresses for the W Magazine something something party in Beverly Hills. Tis the season for magazine sponsored parties and celebrities winning all kinds of awards just like you and I do regularly for our jobs. Hasn’t your boss handed you a shiny gold-plated trophy recently? Okay, my last one was AYSO fifth grade as well. Still, if the accolades bring out the girls like the wildly alluring Nicola Peltz, Gigi Hadid, Jaime King, and Sarah Hyland who didn’t remove her coat due to the weather, but which gave us a chance to really use our imagination noodles as to what lay beneath. Noodle isn’t a euphemism for brain, I actually have a noodle I keep here in my office to foster imagination.
I don’t know exactly how I get these girls to show up to my own luncheons. I keep cutting the crust off the cucumber sandwiches but nobody shows so I end up feeding them to my dog, Mr. Fetishworth, who has a look in his eye as if he’s going to consume me in my sleep. The trick might be owning a magazine, a magazine for women specifically. I wonder if Jugs Women is already trademarked. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Splash
Actress Jaime King was a bit nippy in a one-piece pink swimsuit while on vacation in Maui. Jaime must have been pretty chilly as she was sporting some serious nipple wood. It looks like she has two jumbo-sized novelty pencil erasers stuffed in her bathing suit top. Jaime’s knockers are the very definition of pert, which is pretty amazing given that she just had a kid. A lot of new moms are losing their battle with gravity, if you get what I’m saying. Not Jaime. Her girls are as perky as a 20-year-old sorority girl. What nobody tells you when you go swimming in the Pacific ocean for the first time is how friggin’ cold it is. This leads to all kinds of pokey nipple situations for both sexes and potential shrinkage embarrassment for men.
I’m used to the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico and Atlantic where a man can swim without fear of looking like a eunuch through his swim trunks.
Actress and model Jaime King got all, like, psychedelic in a one-piece bathing suit. I stared at it for a while and I realized we’re all one organism living in the petri dish of the universe. No, but seriously she looks friggin’ hot. Sure, it would be nice if she was in a bikini, but sometimes it’s nice to be teased with what you don’t see. What’s really amazing is that she just had a baby a few months ago and she got her figure back. Carrying around a baby in her belly did nothing on her waistline. What is most showcased in these pictures is her lovely long legs. She has some bitchin’ thighs.
Yeah, I said bitchin’. Her legs are so hot that I had to go back to the 80′s in a time machine to find an adjective that could properly sum up how incredible her legs are.
It’s something like a phenomenon, baby. These hot celebrities just can’t stop celebrating their own hotness by way of Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, and other media where they get to control what goes out there of their own image. And, by control, I mean they simply can’t get enough of showing themselves off to the general public. Without egos, there’d be no Egotastic!
This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes the precious delights of Jessica Alba and Sofia Vergara partying together on Cinco De Mayo, Sara Jean Underwood flashing her every ready cleavage, Adrianne Curry in some memorably revealing poses, Aubrey O’Day showing lots of nekkid butt, and so much more goodness, it must be seen to be be-lusted. Enjoy.
A wise man might have predicted a year ago that the phenomenon of celebrities taking naughty or alluring photos of themselves would have slowly died down, what with all the public and private and backchannel scandals. Thankfully, Egotastic! has no wise men among us. We knew the trend was headed right in the opposite direction. Not only did we predict it, we lit candles and prayed for it.
This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes just a bevy of self-photo’ed celebrity hotness including Rihanna making it rain in a naughty strip club manner, Kendall Jenner in an impossibly tight dress and a bikini, Ashley Tisdale bikini vacation photos, Kate Upton see-through top, and just a bunch more self-published pics that you really must see from a bunch of famous chicks who lust themselves almost as much as you do. Enjoy.