Irina Shayk

Irina Shayk Uses All Of Her Wicked Hot Body to Pimp Shoes in Spain

I suppose if you're going to sell shoes, why not hire an uber-sextastic model who you would kill to see wearing nothing but shoes and standing in your boudoir. Irina Shayk could sell water to a drowning man. She's certainly capable of moving shoes for XTI, sliding like a hot slinky cat in a super tight dress along the red carpet at the shoe company photocall in Madrid.

I know there are magazines and journals and associations all dedicated to the fine art of marketing and advertising. But I'll say it again, is it really more complicated than finding one ridiculously hot model like Irina Shayk and having her smile in something sextastic for the cameras? Enjoy.

Irina Shayk Topless Shooting for SI, Well, Not Here, But There

Thanks to approximately 174,345 of you for letting me know of the Irina Shayk topless photos that leaked out, kind of blurry nippled and all, but definitely there, from her recent swimsuit shoot with Sports Illustrated.

Yes, I happen to lust Irina Shayk like a dog desires his favorite bone. While ongoing bartering prevents me from posting them herein, I'm happy for us to live in a polyamorous open Hollywood style relationship where you can see others. Or Irina Shayk topless on DrunkenStepfather. Some things in life are simply meant to be seen. Enjoy.

Irina Shayk Crazy Hot Cleavage, Jennette McCurdy Shapely Tease, Candice Swanepoel Bunny Goodness Highlight the Sextastic Twitpic Roundup

Selfies are picking up speed and skin with near the speed of light. Even somewhat reticent celebs now realize that if you want to remain relevant, you better remain half-nekkid in plenty of shared social media pics. I love this new publicity must. It used to be attending all the right parties and summering in Newport. Now it's flashing your sweet boobtastic and tight buns in amateur candids you share with your audience as a regular part of your daily life. Just a few years ago, you had to find a smart computer kid with hacking skills to get these very same insider looks. This is called progress.

This week's Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes Nicki Minaj flashing her stellar deep cleave, Candice Swanepoel removing her clothes for Easter, Jennette McCurdy back in curvaceous body sharing mode, Irina Shayk showing she's a boobtastic contender, Victoria Justice flashing an unusually large amount of cleave, Margot Robbie bikini goodness, Bar Refaeli bikini madness, and much much more. You owe it to all those people on Antiques Roadshow who steal their old neighbor's attic crap to check out each and every one of these passion inducing social pose-downs. Enjoy.

Irina Shayk Sextastic Award Show Appearance in Germany

I must admit, I'm not exactly sure what the Spa Awards are. But Irina Shayk and her super wicked hot self was either receiving one or giving one out in Germany over the weekend. Not that she doesn't deserve whatever accolades she can receive, but if this happens to be for performance in an actual spa, then I can imagine Irina Shayk is probably unbeatable in this category. Can you imagine a woman you'd more like to hang out with in a hot tub? Nay.

Irina Shayk is most clearly heaven sent. But if you don't think the devil has a bit to say about these heaven sent hotties, you're fooling yourself. She's temptation incarnate. Tempt away, Irina, we can take it. Enjoy.

Irina Shayk Lingerie Pictures Are the Height of Hottie Drama

You could do worse than making Irina Shayk the wicked hot body of your dramatic new lingerie line. I guess the silk and lace knitting folks at La Clover figured this out, bringing out the alluring Russian ringer to get all kind of lust inducing in their panties and bras and other intimates that I would cause me to feint if I ever saw the likes of Irina Shayk modeling them in person.

Once again, the simplicity of marketing genius comes to the forefront. Make skimpy clothes, hire Irina Shayk to model them for you, sell tons of shmata. I know people go to school for years to try and learn this stuff, but you follow the Shayk model, you can probably save yourself a whole lot of student debt. Maybe even enough to pay for Irina Shayk. So hot. Enjoy.

Nina Agdal and Irina Shayk Double Down Bikini Time for Beach Bunny

Talk about two champions of the hot body world coming together in an epic sandwich of bikini pimping. Nina Agdal (above) an her body that everybody wants to either sell or to, you know, do other things with. And Irina Shayk, world class sultry babe...

...both working overtime with bodies that won't quit, can't quit, and simply won't ever be fired to push the Beach Bunny swimwear line. I suppose the idea is that you buy a Beach Bunny suit and you will look like either Irina or Nina. I wonder if you get your pick or just have to leave that magical effect up to Mother Nature. Either way, you can't really go wrong. This is similar to how when I don a Speedo, I look like Michael Phelps, on the inside stoner side mostly I guess. Marketing geniuses at Beach Bunny score another round. Enjoy.

Kelly Rowland, Kim Kardashian, Britney Spears Lead the Way of Cleavage for Elton John’s AIDS Foundation Post-Oscars Party

Make of it what you will, but the Elton John AIDS Foundation party tends to bring out the biggest shows of cleavage each Oscar Sunday, with the lovely ladies of L.A. saving up their funbaggery for when the more stately Academy Awards come to a conclusion.

Heidi Klum, Kim Kardashian, Kelly Rowland, Britney Spears, Ashley Greene, and Irina Shayk all came up noteworthy in the category of most chest exposed on an otherwise pretty modestly dressed night for most of the actual movie stars. The Elton John party ticket is the hottest in town, if you can get it, which you can, for eight thousand times my hourly play rate. I had to save up this year to buy a new carbon fiber yo-yo, so I skipped, but I would never miss out on hot celebrity chestiness. Enjoy.