Let me be perfectly upfront about this, I’d shank any one of you in an alley way if it means five minutes alone with either the ridiculously hot India Reynolds or Mellisa Clarke. I’d sell my own organs, your organs, the organ I stole from the historic church, just for the chance to breathe near the bodacious goodness of either of these two women pitted against one another’s funbags in this week’s Battle of the Boobtastic.
Really, it’s a cruel trick to ask anybody to decide between the blessed puppies of these luscious women. But cruel is the task that lay ahead of you as the sacred jury of the BotB. You must send one girl home in swollen triumph, the other in deflated tears. Who shall it be this week? Whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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I’m not sure what you get somebody for their 500th anniversary, but in the case of the 500th edition of Nuts magazine, I suppose you send bronzed boobs or something contextually relevant. I know dinnerware won’t do them much good.
To celebrate the 500th printed edition of the magazine, the lads across the pond brought together just about every heavy-boobweight in their arsenal for a celebratory photoshoot. Kind of encapsulating what is good and decent and round about curvaceous young British women with their coquettish smiles and flowing hair and flouncing funbags. Just one super groovy visual party, to say the least. Happy Anniversary!
A friend of mine from the Old Country the other day remarked about how obsessed Americans are with blondes. Without denying there is definitely a traditional favoritism in this fair land toward the fair haired ladies, I reminded him that the Egotastic! world is filled with beautiful, drop dead boobtastic woman of all colored tops and bottoms and in-betweens. You know of my personal passion for reds, and the special naughty fantasies I hold in my lower heart for brunettes. The raven haired hotties who seem to hold so much mystery inside, or at least beneath their sweaters.
Thankfully, our friends at Nuts feel the same, this month paying tribute to our favorite brunette buxom glamour models. Rosie Jones, Holly Peers, India Reynolds, and Lacey Banghard. If these four girls happen to be at your party, you’ve got a pretty damn good party going on. If you find these four women in your bedroom, be careful not to pinch yourself, because you’re probably dreaming. But, oh, what a dream that is! Enjoy.
So, shoot me. I’m a sucker for a girl with a friendly smile. When flight attendants tell me welcome aboard, I kiss them back (the ones we used to call stewardesses at least). And India Reynolds has one of the warmest smiles ever.
Oh, sure, the cynical among you will probably say, ‘Bill, you’re so full of shit, you just like India because she has a smoking hot body, delicious curves, and funbags that could happily feed 52% of the world.” And I would ask you how you intend to feed the other 48%. Because you are right, except for that part about being full of shit, I’m only half full, my other half is filled with lust for women with ridiculously sextastic shapes and alluring exhibitions. Again, like India Reynolds. Oh, God, I wish I was that chair! Enjoy.
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Are you kidding me? I need to choose between the greater of two amazing sets of fabulous funbags as to which set of fluffy wonderments are superior to the five senses? I am kidding, for this is not my job, but your sacred weekly duty. To stare longingly into the bare chests of two outrageously hot women like Mellisa Clarke and India Reynolds, and declare the more perfect, the greater among equals, the capo di tutti capi of crazy sweet melons. Do you have the nerve to pull the trigger?
This is the Battle of the Boobtastic. There is definitely crying in this sport. So, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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What with Wimbledon well under way and tennis on the minds of people who can’t find any other sports to watch this time of year betwixt basketball and football and with baseball in its dog days, what better way to tribute the female side of the sport than with two faptastically buxom blessed hotties by the names of Rosie Jones and India Reynolds.
The boys at Nuts magazine have outdone themselves this time with a hot bodied and melon-filled take on the sport of kings. No volleys or lobs in this game between Rosie and India. Just aces and slams and a whole lot of loves. My, oh, my, how suddenly a sport can become interesting.
You made it to Friday. Now kick up your heels, pop that beer top, and imagine yourself having a little grass court time with the likes of Rosie and India. TGIF!
Wow, both of our competitors today, the righteously hot India Reynolds and the exotic looking beauty, Courtnie Quinlan, look like the types of girls I could have taken to my high school prom, had I not been previously committed to escort the large and lovely third clarinetist from our school’s marching band. So much marching, but she never seemed to work off those extra lbs. But, I digress, and away from the chesty goodness of both of these finely endowed Page 3 hotties. Topless and ready to contest for the title of the week’s best chestal fineries.
The Battle of the Boobtastic truly has no losers, I mean, except for the girl who will actually lose today and go home emotionally crushed. And it is your job to make one go home unhappy and one go home flying high. So, in your humble opinion, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?