Heidi Klum

Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, and Heidi Klum Heat Up 2012 American Music Awards Red Carpet

Now, by this time you know how we feel about the Grammys and the American Music Awards and pretty much all other music award shows and their relationship to good music -- zero correlation. Truly. Really. Honestly. And we say that hardly as music snobs, just grown adult males for whom popular music left us long ago, or we left it, either way, we can't stand it any more than a grade schooler can brussel sprouts. It's not natural.

And, yet, there's no denying that the ranks of the pop music world are filled with some of our favorite ladies of the sextastic, some performers, some just omnipresent celebs, all of whom do manage to turn the 2012 American Music Awards into hot-watchable television tonight.

Included in our list of girls who gave us happy wood tonight on the red carpet are Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, Heidi Klum, Stacy Keibler, Hayden Panettiere, Jenny McCarthy, and Kesha (what? yep, you heard us right, Kesha, she made herself over so much we got all worked up before we realized it was Kesha -- let's call this one misdirected boner). Enjoy.

Heidi Klum, Rita Ora, and Taylor Swift Save the Dreck That Is MTV Europe With Hotness

When the male headliners at the MTV Europe Music Awards were David Hasselhoff, Jedward, and I think Gary Glitter on a prison-release program, our prognosis for pure craptastic was not looking great, but, thankfully, as with all events, bringing in hot chicks makes everything okay, even Hasselhoff, and the addition of some of our sextastic favorites like Heidi Klum, Rita Ora, and Taylor Swift (who we still can't figure out why we want to plow so badly, but, we do) helped to make the entire evening devoted to pop music, Euro style.

And that can be pretty bad. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum Has a Rainbow Party In Her Mouth; Oh, Mommy!

It's weird, but ever since Heidi Klum split from Seal and started banging her bodyguard we've kind of fallen more deeply in lust with the German hottie and business woman powerhouse. I mean, let's be honest, a hot mom who starts knocking boots with the help -- that's the very source of 32% of all our adult-rated daydreams, not to mention quite possibly our only chance of ever hooking up with the likes of a world-class supermodel.

Now, throw in the wide-mouthed multi-colored Missile Pops® sucking, and, well, don't be surprised if her entire male staff isn't watching and wondering when it will be their turn at bat with the mistress of the house. Personally, I'm trying to get a job as her gardener as we speak. 'Oh, yes, Ms. Klum, I would love to come inside for some lemonade.' And, enjoy.

Christina Hendricks, Kat Dennings, and Sofia Vergara Lead the Hot Cleavage Displays at Primetime Emmy Awards

I'll say this for non-boob showing television shows, their ladies love to show cleavage during award season for their medium. The million dollar mammaries could not be contained at this weekend's Primetime Emmy Awards, where scores of hotties came decked out in low cut top, or just looking mighty fine, boob tube fantastics such as Christina Hendricks, Kat Dennings, Heidi Klum, Padma Lakshmi, January Jones, Sofia Vergara, Alexandra Breckenridge, Hayden Panettiere, Julianne Hough, Julie Bowen, Zooey Deschanel, and Claire Danes.

Yes, it was an evening filled with Hollywood patting itself on the back. But a day today for us to remember the best of Hollywood's front side. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum Topless and Lotioning Up and Down Her Bodyguard; Seal Is Going to Rage!

 

Disclaimer: I was once blizzard bound in the Reykjavik Airport for eight hours with Swedes on holiday (if you know of this phenomenon, than you already feel sorry for me) who plowed through endless bottles of vodka while they sang Whitney Houston's 'I Will Always Love You' from The Bodyguard over and over again for the entire duration. Ever since that time, the mere mention of the word 'bodyguard' recalls so much post-traumatic stress, I curl up into a ball and hide behind my Holly Hobby overstuffed pillows and whimper softly.

Somebody obviously less averse to bodyguards is Heidi Klum, who has basically now admitted that she's banging her long time bodyguard, the dude with the tattoos, but insists (counter to Seal's claim) that she only let the bodyguard into her inner body after she was completely split from the Kiss from a Rose singer. The truth -- we do not know. But we do know that Heidi Klum at nearly 40 remains one hot (and might we add, naturally breasted) women.

(Thanks to EgoReader 'Kiff' for these photos. We know they're from a French mag, but not precisely sure of the original photo dates or locations.)

Heidi Klum Has Got It, So She Flaunts It, and We Want It

Super hot, single, rich, and that wicked dominatrix-like accent has me running for the cold shower and poetic proposals on cologne-scented notecards every time I catch sight of Heidi Klum ditching her single-mom gear for her professionally tight and hot working woman gear.

The Germanic blonde and veteran MILF hottie took New York by storm at the end of last week when she came in a tight hugging outfit to sign copies of her book about something to do with stupid fashion. Heck, we'd even pretend to be interested in fashion for just the chance to see Heidi Klum slipping out of her clothes in the evening. Enjoy.

Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, and Kate Upton Among the Many Many Hotties at Cannes amfAR Gala

You know nobody loves a gala more than me. Big swank dress-up affair. As long as crocs are excepted footwear, I'm in. Especially so when half the hot-women in the known universe are in attendance, like the amfAR Gala in Cannes last night, where it was wall to wall sextastic celebrities. Some we love, some we love a little less, but all looked hot and I'm told the drinks were free, so who has time to judge personalities.

Which brings me to Kim Kardashian, who outside of nipple slipping and showboating, had little reason to be in Cannes, but, hell, she looked pretty hot at the amfAR event; so did her former high school classmate (educational term used loosely), Billionaire Barbie, along with the likes of Kate Upton, Nina Dobrev, and too many others to even name. But check them out, because it's sure to spark you're 'I'm Going to Be A Future Movie Producer and Bang My Leading Ladies' fantasies.

And, oh, for a surprise, check out the gallery and see if you can find who wore the boobtastic see-through dress to the party. Enjoy.