Ah, summer, let’s see what other treats you have for us in your seasonal infancy. Yes, hot moms braless at the park. And this one happens to be a sextastic German model who’s banging her bodyguard.
Heidi Klum took some or all of her brood and her purse-holding new beau to the park over the weekend, skipping the formalities of a bra, perhaps an ode to the warm summer weather, or perhaps just a reminder to the other dads at the park that this bodyguard thing isn’t going to last forever. You know how much we abhor bras here at Egotastic!, so we applaud Heidi for her upper commando stylings, be it at the park or in our boudoir. Enjoy.
Heidi Klum really has been experiencing something of a hotness renaissance since she dumped her husband and started sleeping with her bodyguard. I’m not suggesting every woman out there do the same, unless, of course, you are one of my bodyguard service clients and you’re hot, but it seems to have worked for Heidi.
She’s showing skin-revealing at major upscale events the past several months, including just a fancy evening out in the meatpacking district in N.Y., flashing some sweet side views of her tall veteran model body frame.
Of course, we would always like to see much more of Heidi. And here’s to hoping she takes another one of her European beach holidays where she gets in the spirit of removing her top for an almost all over tan. But until that time, we shall continue to imagine straps falling off her shoulders. Enjoy.
Second only to the Vanity Fair Oscar-Party each year, Elton John can draw some serious female tail to his swank post-Academy Awards, including convincing Heidi Klum to come party in a plunging neckline that had us plunging even deeper than that on sight of the German model’s MILFtastic chest ensembles.
So powerful was Heidi’s cleavage last night that she literally and figuratively towered over the other guests, some of whom, such as Miley Cyrus, Olivia Munn, Britney Spears, and Nicki Minaj, definitely deserve a nod from the oglers of their own, but none shined quite as bright as the golden clad Project Runway star. The Kardashian sisters looked like short fat trollops in comparison, or, not even by comparison.
Congratulations to Heidi Klum. We honor you with our bald upright statutes this morning. Enjoy.
Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, and Heidi Klum Post-Globes Party Pic Highlights This Week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup
Oh, man, the celebrities are at it again. Just falling all slobbery in lust with their own hotness, and sharing their true romance with the rest of the world by way of Twitter and Instagram and Facebook and a bunch of other social media sites whose names tween girls could rattle off to you with no problem, but to us just sound like the names of pedo-grumpy midgets in some horribly German Black Forest fairytale. Nevertheless, the ends justifies the means, our motto at least, so no matter how we get our celebrity hotness, we take it.
This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes a marvelously trifecta-perfected pic of Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, and Heidi Klum at a post Golden Globe Awards party, Rihanna sucking on a coconut like she’s making rent money, Miranda Kerr chesty, Katherine McPhee surprisingly cleavetastic, and a buttload more butts and tops flashing in photos that you owe to the sports god’s you’re praying to this weekend on your NFL bets to peruse. Enjoy.
Amy Adams, Jessica Alba, Sarah Hyland, and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Lead List of Hotties on the 2013 Golden Globe Awards Red Carpet
Well, the big leagues of the collective celebrity circle jerk known as Awards Season kicked off this Sunday evening with the 2013 Golden Globe Awards dishing out trophies to people who just had to thank a bunch of producers and agents and the dude who washes their Bentley.
And while we have to give a generally ‘tame’ rating to the sextastic level at the actual event, when you have such a massive gathering of sweet looking thespianics, you’re going to find some serious lovely toy things to leer at one the red carpet, including our very favorites this year, Amy Adams, Jessica Alba, Sarah Hyland, Sofia Vergara, Halle Berry, Taylor Swift, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and Heidi Klum. And a bunch others too, so check out the entire gallery of the girls whose $10K dresses we’d like to rip from their bodies and give them an award of our own. Enjoy.
Now, by this time you know how we feel about the Grammys and the American Music Awards and pretty much all other music award shows and their relationship to good music — zero correlation. Truly. Really. Honestly. And we say that hardly as music snobs, just grown adult males for whom popular music left us long ago, or we left it, either way, we can’t stand it any more than a grade schooler can brussel sprouts. It’s not natural.
And, yet, there’s no denying that the ranks of the pop music world are filled with some of our favorite ladies of the sextastic, some performers, some just omnipresent celebs, all of whom do manage to turn the 2012 American Music Awards into hot-watchable television tonight.
Included in our list of girls who gave us happy wood tonight on the red carpet are Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, Heidi Klum, Stacy Keibler, Hayden Panettiere, Jenny McCarthy, and Kesha (what? yep, you heard us right, Kesha, she made herself over so much we got all worked up before we realized it was Kesha — let’s call this one misdirected boner). Enjoy.