Heidi Klum

Heidi Klum Hates Bras (As Do We)

Ours is not to wonder why, only to ogle and stare. At the likes of Heidi Klum running around Santa Monica with her between four and seventeen children and her kids’ bodyguard turned boyfriend and a whole bunch of other things she remembered to bring, well, except for her bra. We of course applaud this organizational oversight. Though we doubt it was unplanned.

It wasn’t as if a world class supermodel and business woman and humper of her employees just suddenly forgot her undergarments. And the top wasn’t exactly racy, still, as ever, we applaud European wardrobe sensibilities. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum Bikini Pictures Put the Bahama Mama in the Double Dipping Sextastic Spotlight

Heidi Klum seems to be happy. I guess she and her new boyfriend slash household staff are getting along swimmingly, as they seem to take many vacations together. Which is bully for him because we know what he gets, but works out well for us as well as we get to see much of Heidi these days in very little clothing in various tropical locales.

Like the Bahamas, where she spent the 4th of July holiday weekend with her hair braided in a bikini like Bo Derek in 10. Maybe not quite the same, but then Bo Derek never had a $100 million dollar celebrity valuation, so, personally, I’m putting my chips and false love behind Heidi, specifically behind her still tight mommy booty that she showed off in not one, but two separate bikinis. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum in a Green Bikini in the Bahamas

Heidi Klum Braless in the Park

Ah, summer, let’s see what other treats you have for us in your seasonal infancy. Yes, hot moms braless at the park. And this one happens to be a sextastic German model who’s banging her bodyguard.

Heidi Klum took some or all of her brood and her purse-holding new beau to the park over the weekend, skipping the formalities of a bra, perhaps an ode to the warm summer weather, or perhaps just a reminder to the other dads at the park that this bodyguard thing isn’t going to last forever. You know how much we abhor bras here at Egotastic!, so we applaud Heidi for her upper commando stylings, be it at the park or in our boudoir. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum With Some Sideboob in the Meatpacking District (Best Game of Clue Ever)

Heidi Klum really has been experiencing something of a hotness renaissance since she dumped her husband and started sleeping with her bodyguard. I’m not suggesting every woman out there do the same, unless, of course, you are one of my bodyguard service clients and you’re hot, but it seems to have worked for Heidi.

She’s showing skin-revealing at major upscale events the past several months, including just a fancy evening out in the meatpacking district in N.Y., flashing some sweet side views of her tall veteran model body frame.

Of course, we would always like to see much more of Heidi. And here’s to hoping she takes another one of her European beach holidays where she gets in the spirit of removing her top for an almost all over tan. But until that time, we shall continue to imagine straps falling off her shoulders. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum Deep Deep Cleavage Steals the Show at Elton John’s Oscar After-Party

Second only to the Vanity Fair Oscar-Party each year, Elton John can draw some serious female tail to his swank post-Academy Awards, including convincing Heidi Klum to come party in a plunging neckline that had us plunging even deeper than that on sight of the German model’s MILFtastic chest ensembles.

So powerful was Heidi’s cleavage last night that she literally and figuratively towered over the other guests, some of whom, such as Miley Cyrus, Olivia Munn, Britney Spears, and Nicki Minaj, definitely deserve a nod from the oglers of their own, but none shined quite as bright as the golden clad Project Runway star. The Kardashian sisters looked like short fat trollops in comparison, or, not even by comparison.

Congratulations to Heidi Klum. We honor you with our bald upright statutes this morning. Enjoy.

Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, and Heidi Klum Post-Globes Party Pic Highlights This Week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup

Oh, man, the celebrities are at it again. Just falling all slobbery in lust with their own hotness, and sharing their true romance with the rest of the world by way of Twitter and Instagram and Facebook and a bunch of other social media sites whose names tween girls could rattle off to you with no problem, but to us just sound like the names of pedo-grumpy midgets in some horribly German Black Forest fairytale. Nevertheless, the ends justifies the means, our motto at least, so no matter how we get our celebrity hotness, we take it.

This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes a marvelously trifecta-perfected pic of Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, and Heidi Klum at a post Golden Globe Awards party, Rihanna sucking on a coconut like she’s making rent money, Miranda Kerr chesty, Katherine McPhee surprisingly cleavetastic, and a buttload more butts and tops flashing in photos that you owe to the sports god’s you’re praying to this weekend on your NFL bets to peruse. Enjoy.