Eva Longoria

Damn, Eva Longoria Is Smoking Hot and Ready to Mingle; Check Out Her Elle Magazine Spread

We stick to our unscientific naming convention of calling Eva Longoria one of the most eligible single ladies in all of Hottieville. Yeah, okay, so the 30-something Latina hottie is rumored to be she-banging with various actors and athletes and blue bloods, but that does not dissuade us in the least from making Eva Longoria our sugar mama — a hot, sweet, and cotton candy tasty sugar mama.

In the latest edition of Elle Spain, Eva Longoria shows what she can do even with her clothes on to allure members of the opposite sex (and, more financially impressive, still get herself tons o’ lady fans, go figure. Someday, we will slip a ring on Eva’s finger. Okay, so it won’t be a ring and that won’t be her finger, we still find it just as romantic, in our pursuit of this rich, sextastic, and  still single lady. Enjoy.

Eva Longoria Bare-Arsed Nekkid from Behind ‘Asleep at the Chateau’

Austrian minimalist photographer Jork Weismann has found an incredibly new and interesting way to get girls to take their clothes off for the camera at the Chateau Marmont, shooting them pretending to be asleep (no, not passed out or unconscious, that’s an entirely different set of Chateau Marmont pictures), but just in peaceful slumber.

And, well, it all sounded kind of silly to us until we caught site of Eva Longoria bare-arsed on the bed in the Chateau, like a sleeping Latina beauty with a booty we could just about kill for (I mean, we don’t believe in violence, but to get that dumper in our grasp, we might be willing to do some dirty deeds).

We’ve already proclaimed Eva Longoria to be one of the most eligible single ladies in all of Hottieville; now, we just have to think about crowning her. Enjoy.

Christina Aguilera, Dania Ramirez, and Eva Longoria Drop Latina Heat on Red Carpet of the ALMA Awards

Association of Latino Media Arts. I think that’s right. But might be better just to call it ‘Bring Out the Latina Hotties’ awards as the taping of the TV awards show brought out some wonderfully sultry sights over the weekend, including mainstay sextastic Eva Longoria, who co-hosted the show, Dania Ramirez who we’d like to sail away on a small boat with for about a year and come back with many babies, and even Christina Aguilera, the ultimate up and down girl in Hollywood who put on a strong show for the ALMA Awards.

We often gush about our fondness for Latinas South of the Border, but we can tend to overlook our Hispanic Hotties right here in the U.S. I guess what I’m saying is, fapping starts at home. Enjoy.

Eva Longoria Flashes Legs On Her Quest to Remain the Most Eligible Single Woman in Hollywood

Hot. Rich. Single. It really is the trifecta with Eva Longoria who continues in appearance after appearance to make me wonder if I’m ever going to find matrimonial bliss with this Latina sugar mama or if I’m bound by verbal contract to marry Carol, the dominatrix lesbian BBW down the hall who claims one drunken night I agreed to marry her at 40 if we were both still single. I’m still hoping for the Eva option.

Eva Longoria has been in Spain the past few days, running some charity events, winnings some awards, and all around just looking super fine, in body and spirit, with our ogling emphasis on the former, including this little green number where she was flashing enough leg to let you know where to get started on your ascent into her personal paradise. We certainly know where it ends. Enjoy.

Eva Longoria Paddles Her Bikini Butt Straight Into Our Heart

I must tell you, if you didn’t come here looking for sextastic celebrities in bikinis (or less) today, you have come to the wrong place. Today, we are chocked full of wet, two-piece bits of hotness.

And perhaps none finer than the booty of our belusted single and most eligible bachelorette Eva Longoria who took to the high seas on her long board, which before she hopped on it with her sweet Desperate Housewives body, was merely a short and stubby board (yep, that’a a dick joke). That wet and shimmering bikini butt-side view of Eva Longoria was simply majestic. We nearly squeezed out our entire tub of sunscreen upon first viewing. Enjoy.


Jessica Alba Bentover Boobtastic Highlights Glamour Woman of the Year Awards

Well, there were a number of superb celeb hotties at the Glamour Woman of the Years Awards last night in London town, the likes of Sofia Vergara, Lea Michele, Eva Longoria, and Kelly Rowland (who looked especially amazing), but nobody really could steal the scene from uber-sextastic Jessica Alba, most especially when she made an impromptu bend forward to retrieve an item off the ground and revealed a very sweet down top show of her twin MILFtastic wonderements.

I’m not exactly sure how Glamour magazine decides on its voting for Woman of the Year, or what it really means beyond who has the prettiest accessories that match well with their shoes, but as much as the genders may disagree on their evaluation of female beauty, somehow they came up with a very nice list of hotties for their awards. Enjoy.

Eva Longoria Brings Classic Hotness To Cannes With Low Cut White Gown

Okay, we dont’ like to dote too much on the fashion fineries of the fairer sex, but among all the world-class hotness now slowly promenading down the various Cannes red carpets this week, our hottie most eligible bachelorette Eva Longoria really stood out for just plain old looking wicked good.

A little boob, a lot of hotness, a classic elegance that you can only imagine goes by the wayside back in the hotel room after a couple champagne spritzers (I don’t even know what those are to be honest, but me and Eva are drinking them like crazy in our five-star Cannes hotel room), and Eva Longoria just looks super amazing these days. And nights. After the spritzers. Enjoy.

P.S. If you’re somehow not completely sold on Eva, or you were wondering how nice her legs look, here she is earlier in the day in Cannes flashing those gams in a pair of leather shorts. Oh, my, Eva and leather anything just has to rub you the right way.