Eva Longoria

Eva Longoria Bikini Pictures Will Burst Your Brazilian Bubbles

Every time one of our more sextastic celebrities heads down to Rio on vacation, my first instinct is to become very jealous. I really want to be in Brazil for a little rest and relaxation. My second instinct is to try and see those celebrities nekkid, or, in the least, in their little bikinis soaking up the sun along Brazil’s more famous coastline.

Such is the case with petite hottie Eva Longoria, who despite our wish that she would generally shut up about more things on social media, we still find to be one of the hottest most eligible bachelorettes on the planet, even un-made up, in her bikini, down Rio way, we can imagine taking her into our heart, if not our pants.

Yes, we’re jealous of Eva for laying out in the sun in the world’s hot body capital, but we think we have an idea on how to make the rest of the world jealous of just the two of us, and it involves strawberry jam and testing Eva for fruit allergies all over. Enjoy.

Eva Longoria May Have Become Super Annoying, But She’s Still Super Hot

Yeah, I get the letters from you guys about Eva Longoria. I realize that the woman I have declared to be the most eligible bachelorette has become somewhat annoying in recent times, well, long time for some of you detractors, but more recent times for those of us on the ‘Eva Longoria is so hot I don’t care bandwagon’. I’m guessing it has much to do with her becoming a Washington insider, an outspoken partisan politicker, and just generally doing what most people hate celebrities to do — act like they’re informed and knowledgable and their opinion is important. I get that. Trust me.

Still, when I see Eva looking sextastic in her L’Officiel Hommes magazine pictorial from the good people of France this month, well, I want to cut her some slack. I want to say to her, ‘Eva, yes, you can be my girl and constantly beg me for more sexy time, but you’ve got to learn the quiet game just a bit better’. Life is all about reaching compromise. Enjoy.

Eva Longoria Cleavy Hotness Makes the Inaugural Ball Plenty Okay For Dudes

Now, I suppose there are some of you out there intrigued by the President and the First Lady’s first dance, or what china pattern was chosen, or who were which designer to te big event, but for the most of us, the inaugural ball, like any other froufrou event was pretty damn off the radar, until, suddenly, Eva Longoria made it off the hook.

We’ve been digging Eva Longoria for some time now, especially since she went bachelorette on us a while back, but the way she was looking at last night’s ball, wow, dayum, and thank you ma’am. Just the icing on the sextastic cake of life. Hot, rich, single, and friends with the President. You could do worse. Enjoy.

Eva Longoria Nip Slip Provides a Trophy Moment at Golden Globe Awards After-Party

Eva Longoria Nip Slips at Warner Bros InStyle Golden Globes Party in Beverly Hills
Click to See Uncensored

Hmm, there was something exciting to come out of the 2013 Golden Globe Awards after all. No, not Jodie Foster going on worldwide television to 200 million homes to announce that she’d like privacy, but our most eligible bachelorette, the hottie Eva Longoria, flashing her nipple quite accidentally at the Warner Bros. after party. And, we say accidentally, but, of course, none of the best wardrobe malfunctions are intentional (outside of Janet Jackson, natch.).

Ah, when the sextastic ladies of Hollywood get all decked out but forget to cover up a spot or two, then we get very happy. Enjoy.

Eva Longoria Struts Around in Tight Jeans in LA

In Honor of The Hobbit Making Bank, We Bank on Ten Sextastic Hollywood Shorties

Being short is in this week, what with The Hobbit making the Gross National Product of many smaller nations in cash over the weekend worldwide, so we decided to take up our own cause for the shorties, the vertically challenged girls of Hollywood we love and admire and occasionally tug our middle earth’s to, a sign of respect indeed.

Check out Rachel Bilson, Eva Longoria, Hayden Panettiere, and a bunch of diminuitive but excessively hot celebrities in our ode to all that is sweet and petite. Enjoy.

Eva Longoria Puts Her Charitable Hot Arse on Display in Sin City

We do so lust Eva Longoria, one of Hottieville’s most eligible divorcees, the hot tight sultry body, the comely smile, the bags of money in her bank account (hey, lust won’t buy you a sandwich or tickets to the Lakers game).

The sextastic Latina was on formal display over the weekend in Vegas at a cancer fundraising event and slipped into something a little less comfortable, but a little more hot, a booty clinging long white dress, the kind of outfit we imagine Eva wearing as she sits by our side at the high roller $10 blackjack table we like to ride at The Fremont downtown.

Hot women and high rollers. Enjoy.