You can’t have a sweet-arse lingerie fashion show without a pretty killer after party, as Victoria’s Secret hosted its annual post-Fashion Show shindig in the Big Apple last night getting all the angels to slip into something a little less comfortable, or, sadly, some clothes over their silky bits, and hit the party house for a little booze and conversation and showing off of the killer legs and such.
Sadly, our invitation to this party d’ super hotties got lost in our Spam folder somewhere, and we were forced to stay home watching Animal Planet and plucking off 12-ouncers from our earthquake emergency provisioned cases of Hamms beer. But, no matter how much we swilled, the killer crocs on the small screen never looked as hot as the likes of Izabel Goulart, Erin Heatheron, Lindsay Ellingson, and Miranda Kerr stepping into the party. Alas, the power of beer goggles only extends so far. Enjoy.
You know it’s a good day when Gwyneth Paltrow looks pretty damn hot, as she did at last night’s Golden Heart Awards, which I must admit I’m still not sure what it was for, and don’t care so much as long as it brings out the girls like Gweneth, Erin Heatherton, who is getting hotter and hotter with age, and Olivia Munn, who is getting more and more nekkid in every subsequent dream I have.
Three hot ladies, decked out in their finest, flashing just enough skin to let you know that if you could afford, you would be buying (sadly, there’s no rent-by-the-minute plan, because I think I could afford about three minutes with Olivia now that my paper-clip in a Subway sandwich settlement money is in.). Enjoy.
The Victoria’s Secret hit parade of hot bodies continues with more bikini shoots from Candice Swanepoel and Erin Heatherton poolside in South Florida including a very wet and water dropping bikini set from Candice Swanepoel and some more shots of Erin Heatherton modeling two pieces that are really two pieces too many for her sextastic lightly freckled body.
It’s amazing how the Victoria’s Secret catalog for these bikinis is still many months away from coming out and I am already instinctively reaching into my wallet for my Diner’s Club card to start buying up several of the swimsuits for my closet collection. Nobody is immune to the pimping show these girls are putting on. Enjoy.
The good folks at Victoria’s Secret, makers of all things tiny and silky, and holder of much of my personal credit card debt, keeping finding new and hotter bikinis to strap onto the new and hotter Erin Heatherton to make their apparel look amazing and convince us men that if only we drove the right car, we might someday run our hands over a wet, tiger print bikini bottom-clad Erin Heatherton booty, looking ever so moist and pouty and perfect in a Miami pool. And they might just be right.
Erin Heatherton continues to break our hearts and bust our nuts with her potential for prurient perfection. It’s always the girls with the innocent faces and the naughty bodies that hurt us the most. I suppose it’s Mother Nature’s little inside joke. Enjoy.
Erin Heatherton was once a young Hebrew School Hottie favorite on Egotastic!, and she’ll always own a place in our nether regions junior Hall of Fame, but we can’t deny that her decision to be the latest to play the beard-ess role for Leo DiCaprio threw us for a complete loop, and not a fun loop, but the roller coaster when you’re a kid and you’ve had to much cotton candy and fruit punch kind of barfy loop. It was disturbing, and disappointing.
However, we’d be lying if we didn’t say that we are completely shallow, superficial, semi-degenerate-leaning individuals who are willing to pretty much overlook anything that gets in the way of us leering at super bikini hotness, including Erin Heatherton on a Victoria’s Secret bikini shoot down in South Florida. How can we ever stay angry at that fun body? We can’t. Enjoy.