It’s time, kids. That once a week we all get together with the parachute and flap it around in various formations because it’s raining outside and our teachers are super lazy. Only this parachute contains a full set of sextastic celebrities in various stage of hotness undress. So much better for kids and adults like. I really should be put in charge of bad weather day activities. I’d really turn things around for the happier.
This week’s Reader Finds includes the delightfully hot Nicole Trunfio barely covering her goodies (thank you to EgoReader ‘Nate’ for his contribution), Emmanuelle Seigner topless and covered in milk for skinematics (sweet find from ‘Franklin’), Linda Fiorentino topless in one mega epic bad movie (Linda hotness reigned hard via ‘Thomas T.’), Marie Jose Crozee in the small screen version of The Hunger (lovely tetas provided by ‘Devon’), Marina Shako topless country cowgirl hotness (outdoorsy funbags delivered by ‘Erica’), more Nicole Trunfio glamour shots, this time topless (topless is hard to beat, thanks ‘Orson’), Elsa Patakay topless perfection in the shower (boobtastic blessings from ‘Romeo’), sextastic Beau Garrett topless see-through au natural naughtiness (love the lean ladies does ‘Fredrick E.’), what appears to be Miley Cyrus topless counting money, seems legit, the money part I mean, and a lovely bit of nip slip from Behati Prinsloo post Oscars (both uncovered by helpful ‘David M.’), Amanda Seyfried crazy hot classic shoot (Nordic princess poses via ‘Scott’), and Emily Browning lingerie topless bondage (these only get better, thanks ‘Stephen R.’). I’d recommend perusing this all during your next yard break. You’ll be the hit of Cell Block D. Enjoy.
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Who knows how long the server gods will favor us with uptime, but Thor’s wife, Elsa Pataky, got a little firm in the nips when she heard technology fails could not forever triumph over funbag exhibitions and we were back up and running.
In return for Elsa’s headlight excitement and the return to 1997 standards of website uptime, I have vowed to triple my efforts to bring the best in celebrity sextastic coverage, provided it won’t send me to prison with labels that will get me split open from an uncomfortable end and that it not take, you know, any more work. The NFL season officially begins tonight. I can only dedicate so much resources in the Fall to non-NFL watching time. I’m only human. Enjoy.
Okay, so it wasn’t just Kat Dennings looking spectacularly sextastic at last night’s Thor premiere; Gillian Jacobs, Elsa Patakay, and Jaimie Alexander all struck some ogle worthy poses in their own right, but it was Kat Dennings epic Valhalla guns that causes many a man to lose an eye on the red carpet. I mean, Odin himself was shape shifting into an excited animal upon laying eyes upon those flesh puppies. As to the movie, ah, we shall see come this Friday when the hammer-wielding Nordic takes to the theaters. Enjoy.
Elsa Pataky is really, really good looking. (Celebuzz)
Anna Faris sleeps around in her new movie. (HuffPo)
Kendra Wilkinson whips out her stripper moves. (PopEater)
Chicks in bikinis. (FoxNews)
Kate Middleton royally hot body. (TheFabLife)
American television given the Brit treatment. (CollegeHumor)
Emma Stone, blonde and chesty. (Popoholic)
Reese Witherspoon strokes a mighty trunk. (FoxNews)
Kristen Bell sweet bikini body. (Celebuzz)
January Jones is scary sexy. (HuffPo)
Zooey Deschanel at her hottest. (CityRag)
Kate Upton teases with her mouth. (DrunkenStepfather)
Sofia Vergara squeezes into some tight pants. (Popoholic)
Elsa Pataky perfect bikini goodness. (WWTDD)
A round of applause, please, for the Spanish edition of Elle magazine, which in it’s July issue features nine of the hottest Spanish Actresses in the nude. You’ve got Elsa Pataky nude. Monica Cruz nude. Leonor Watling nude. Well, you get the idea. I haven’t really heard of many of the other women featured (Ariadne Artiles, Eugenia Silva, Laura Sanchez, Blanca Romero, Bimba Bose, and Natalia Verbeke), but I do like Spanish films, and now I definitely have a reason to find out more about them.