Doutzen Kroes

Doutzen Kroes Bikini Pictures Continue to Visually Define a Vastly Underrated MILF

Victoria's Secret model Doutzen Kroes still holds the all-time Egotastic! record for bodily recovery after pushing a pup through her Venetian canals; about 3 weeks post-partum she was in bikini-ready shape complete with new swollen milkers. It really was one for the record books.

Yet, Doutzen has never truly received the MILFtastic honorifics due her. Okay, yes, even we knocked her down a peg for getting knocked up and eventually hitched to a DJ, a profession that still befuddles us as to professional qualifications, but there's no denying that this woman looks ridiculously alluring in the little bikinis she routinely prances about the sands in, such as this past week in Miami. She looks amazing forward, port, starboard, and aft. And, man, the things we'd like to do to that aft of hers. Enjoy.

Doutzen Kroes Bikini Pictures Are Candidly Bedazzling

There's nothing better than seeing a super sextastic professional model like Doutzen Kroes in her off-duty hours still looking super-sextastic.

Let's be honest, sometimes the lights go down, the make-up comes off, and the after-photo-effects aren't present and, well, it's like finally meeting your favorite radio personality and it turns out to be a dude who looks like he just posed for his Megan's Law website mugshot, it can be less than expected. But when you're hot, you're hot, and Doutzen Kroes isn't just Victoria's Secret made-up hot, she's all kinds of Mother Nature blessed good looking, as she showed candidly on the beach in Miami in a little bikini that looks like she might be shopping off the reservation.

As much as we love Doutzen in her V.S. photo work and imagining her in those silky nothings, seeing a hot woman in her natural element yanking our necks to leer to and fro, even better. Enjoy.

Doutzen Kroes Enters a V.S. Swimsuit Battle with Candice Swanepoel

And I'd just like to be the guy who clean the sand off their bodies between shots. Of course, some bits can get stuck in your teeth.

Both the gloriously looks-gifted MILFtastic Doutzen Kroes...

and the inimitably hot Candice Swanepoel...

for whom bikinis are inspired to be pulled from their drawer,took to the beaches of cool foreign lands to shoot for thew new Victoria's Secret swimsuit catalog. And, you might say, throw down a little bikini body on bikini body competition. And the competition was downright faptastic. Enjoy.

Doutzen Kroes Bikini Pictures Continue to Bring the MILFtastic Poolside Views

More bodily hotness bikini style from South Florida today as Victoria's Secret model and hot mom extraordinaire Doutzen Kroes continued her run of hot two-piece looks by the pool in Miami, and we continued both to leer from afar, and cut the rest of her family, kids and DJ included, out of view, because we do focus like a laser beam on the sextastic.

Now, we often say it's unfair for moms to looks this hot. Then again, who's to say what is fair? I'm starting to lean toward MILFtastic skin shows not only being fair, but something that ought to be compelled perhaps by law. The Hot Mom Act of 2012, that would force wood-inducing sextastic mothers from covering no more than 20% of their bodies in clothing when appearing in public. I'm not saying it would standup to judicial review, but I am saying it would be one helluva fun time while waiting its appeal. Enjoy.

Doutzen Kroes Hot Mama Bikini Pics for Even More Miami Heat

Perhaps no other hottie in Hottieville recovered faster from her baby chunneling experience than Victoria's Secret kitten Doutzen Kroes, who despite making the very poor decision to get knocked up by a DJ, the most ominous sounding boyfriend title ever, has recovered, recouped, and re-hottied herself like nobody's business. Except, it's our business. So, we've been checking out Doutzen in her bikinis the past few days in Miami and drooling along the way.

There is nothing in this world hotter than a hot mama. Enjoy.

Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, and Kate Upton Among the Many Many Hotties at Cannes amfAR Gala

You know nobody loves a gala more than me. Big swank dress-up affair. As long as crocs are excepted footwear, I'm in. Especially so when half the hot-women in the known universe are in attendance, like the amfAR Gala in Cannes last night, where it was wall to wall sextastic celebrities. Some we love, some we love a little less, but all looked hot and I'm told the drinks were free, so who has time to judge personalities.

Which brings me to Kim Kardashian, who outside of nipple slipping and showboating, had little reason to be in Cannes, but, hell, she looked pretty hot at the amfAR event; so did her former high school classmate (educational term used loosely), Billionaire Barbie, along with the likes of Kate Upton, Nina Dobrev, and too many others to even name. But check them out, because it's sure to spark you're 'I'm Going to Be A Future Movie Producer and Bang My Leading Ladies' fantasies.

And, oh, for a surprise, check out the gallery and see if you can find who wore the boobtastic see-through dress to the party. Enjoy.

Jessica White and Erin Heatherton Two of the Many Hotties at Spring Dinner Dance in the Big Apple

I still hold a tender place in my heart for every girl I ever felt up at a school dance or formal. I hold a tender place in my groin for one of them who kicked me thusly on one of my Bryan Adams ballad reach-arounds, but I hold no grudges. So I was especially moved to see the hotness abounding at the Spring Dinner Dance charity function in N.Y.C. last night where a slew of sextastic celebs and models got decked out for a great cause, well, two great causes if you consider the visual delights for us gentleman oglers a great cause, and how can you not.

Among the wonderful wonderments of the female form in attendance were Jessica White, who we never see enough of, recently released from Leo's beardish clutches, Erin Heatherton, wicked hot new mom, Doutzen Kroes, and sultry goddess, Selita Ebanks. Were all of these ladies wearing far too much clothing for our tastes last eve? Yes, of course. But I think you'll find that a simple twist of the imagination screws will have them dancing nekkid in your mind in no time. Least, they're doing the clothes-less rumba in my head as we speak. Enjoy.