Doutzen Kroes

Doutzen Kroes and Candice Swanepoel Ring in Lucky ’13 With Victoria’s Secret Bikini and Lingerie Goodness

Hard as it may be to believe, given the chill in the air outside, and the fact that those beer bottles you left outside to chill for twenty minutes and forgot are now but cracked, saddened, ruined bottles of drinks that will never be drunk, but, we are in the height of bikini season. Not just the sextastic celebrities flooding the southern outline of our nation and even south of the border in their skimpy two pieces, but all the major manufacturers of delightful little bikinis now shipping to the retailers in time for Spring Break and the start of normal folk bikini time.

Along with the migration of tiny top and bottom apparel comes the onslaught, the delicious onslaught of bikini catalog shoots from our friends at Victoria's Secret, who throw in a little lingerie as well for a whole lot of love, as featured on the super hot Doutzen Kroes (above) and the uber-sextastic Candice Swanepoel in bikinis below.

Truly, this is the season of our greatest content. Enjoy.

Alessandra Ambrosio and Doutzen Kroes Bikini Beach Wear Photoshoots in St. Barts for Caribbean MILF Perfection

Well, the parade of angels continues in St. Bart's under the watchful eye of Victoria's Secret and the lucky bastard whose job is to to wipe sand off the well-oiled bodies of the supermodels along the beach being photographed for the upcoming V.S. bikini category.

Alessandra Ambrosio stepped first in to the camera lens with a series of bikinis perfectly showing off her Pilates perfected MILFtastic form. There's no doubt in our minds that Alessandra is one of the hottest moms in the world, and we troll a lot of PTA meetings looking for disenchanted and frustrated moms, so, trust me, we have a solid sense of these things.

And not far behind Alessandra, a MILF of her own, Doutzen Kroes promoting some V.S. beachwear, because even the angels in our dreams need to wear something when they run to grab another case of Red Stripe for us in betwixt long sweaty sessions of Inserting Tab A into Slot B back in the vacation hotel room. It was quite a little hot mama show going on down in the Caribbean island; a very good day for boys with binoculars. Enjoy.

Kate Upton and Doutzen Kroes, Double Dose of Deliciousness for Vogue UK

I know you all think I'm crazy for collecting women's magazines, but who's laughing now, when both Kate Upton and Doutzen Kroes appears super sextastic among the pages of Vogue UK for 2013.

Now, you might have you own best case celebrity sextastic sandwich, but I'll tell you this, if I'm getting just one for eternity, I might just choose Kate Upton and Doutzen Kroes, the question is, will they choose me back? Enjoy.

Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Not Nearly as Sextastic as a Gallery Full of Victoria’s Secret Models

They aired the previously taped Victoria's Secret Fashion Show last night on CBS, but we already brought you most of the good photos from the taping last month, and, let's be honest, as much as we respect the god-blessed work of the people at V.S. and really all lingerie makers everywhere, the show has become geared toward women more and more each year, as evidenced by the flowery costumes, dramatic staging, and inclusion of pop music stars. Honestly, when is the last time a man said he wished a hot model wore more feathers on the catwalk?

Still, while the show has gone Broadway, let us not forget the intensely sextastic underpinnings of the V.S. fashion line, that being, the literal angels who model the designs. From Miranda Kerr to Candice Swanepoel to Doutzen Kroes to Alessandra Ambrosio, some of the finest women don skimpy bits of silk and lace for the clothing retailer and we've capture a bunch of our favorites to share with you.

Rather than watch your DVR'd copy of the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, peer through this gallery of some of the sexiest women on the planet in bras and panties and not much else. You'll thank me later. Enjoy.

Doutzen Kroes Wicked Hot for Vogue

You know we're champions of the underrated hotties here. Well, all the hotties really, though we always do hope that the underrated hotties will someday show us their gratitude in the form of bundt cakes or thank you cards or maybe just steamy naughty and potentially dangerous sexual favors. Though the bundt cake does seem more likely.

But among the names and faces and ridiculously hot bodies we believe deserve more attention include Victoria's Secret model Doutzen Kroes, who these days is not only flashing some serious MILFtastic credentials of her own, but despite being often omitted from the ranks of the hottest V.S. angels, just continues to put up hot photoshoot after hot photoshoot, including her new spread in the December issue of Vogue magazine. Yes, it's for the ladies. Yes, it's fashiony and high-brow. But it's also super hot. Thank to Doutzen. Love her. Enjoy.

Izabel Goulart, Erin Heatherton, Lindsay Ellingson and Other Angels Head Out to Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show After Party

You can't have a sweet-arse lingerie fashion show without a pretty killer after party, as Victoria's Secret hosted its annual post-Fashion Show shindig in the Big Apple last night getting all the angels to slip into something a little less comfortable, or, sadly, some clothes over their silky bits, and hit the party house for a little booze and conversation and showing off of the killer legs and such.

Sadly, our invitation to this party d' super hotties got lost in our Spam folder somewhere, and we were forced to stay home watching Animal Planet and plucking off 12-ouncers from our earthquake emergency provisioned cases of Hamms beer. But, no matter how much we swilled, the killer crocs on the small screen never looked as hot as the likes of Izabel Goulart, Erin Heatheron, Lindsay Ellingson, and Miranda Kerr stepping into the party. Alas, the power of beer goggles only extends so far. Enjoy.


And Onto the Show…Candice Swanepoel, Miranda Kerr, and Doutzen Kroes Highlight the Hotness on Victoria’s Secret Runway

Despite the puffing up of feathers (literally) for the CBS cameras, and the full allotment of celebrity douchy guests in attendance, the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show still represents one of the single greatest sextastic collectives of lingerie-clad hotness around the globe each and every November. And, for that, we give thanks.

Despite the ridiculousness of some of the costumery, clearly not designed for guys, underlying it all we have the wicked hot bodies and killers looks of Angels such as Candice Swanepoel, Miranda Kerr, Alessandra Ambrosio, Adriana Lima, and Doutzen Kroes strutting their wares down catwalk boulevard making us all feel like compulsory consumers. It's one damn fine pimping show. Enjoy.