They were dubbing the return of Courtney Stodden to Los Angeles as some type of heroes return from conquering Great Britain. That seems like it might be bit overblown, but when you’re talking about Courtney Stodden, everything is pretty much overblown at this point.
The busty supposed eighteen year old took to a club in Hollywood to celebrate her British invasion on Celebrity Big Brother, wearing, err, painted into a blue leather skin tight something or other where everybody was laying odds on how long her cans would stay packed in their leather casing. It really was some kind of miracle of Velcro or something similar to keep the children in the area from being visually drowned in chest flesh. Enjoy.
If you thought Courtney Stodden was going to and through England without one or more lads magazine photoshoots, well, you were quite mistaken, my friend.
Courtney didn’t take it all off, the budgets don’t align quite yet, but she covered up her own new DD+ rack and slinked around in some black lingerie for our friends at Nuts, trying her best to compete with the major league boobtastic talent native to Jolly Old. I’ll leave it up to you to decide how she fared, and I’l leave it up to me to peek the peaks. I can only stretch my talents so far. Enjoy.
It looks like somebody is taking their exit from Celebrity Big Brother rather hard. It’s either that or Courtney Stodden can’t handle her first tastes of the devil’s brew in Jolly Old where the drinking age matches Courtney’s more tender years.
Either way, the pumped up big haired blonde was flashing her panties and butt cheeks and about a million hectares of silicon injected chestal landscape climbing in and out of cabs in London. It’d be hard to miss Courtney when she’s out on the town, her dress impossibly too short and low cut. You wonder what Celebrity Big Brother is looking for in its women, really. Enjoy.
Courtney Stodden evicted is not a phrase you’d expect to hear everyday. Maybe every other day at most. But, despite being the biggest boobed contestant in The Celebrity Big Brother UK House, and also flashing her bare top at some point for the cameras, whoever it is who decides these things kicked Courtney out of the house and of the show. So she made her walk of shame, which she seemed pretty well-versed in, showing off the chestal boulders that will no longer be readily seen by British TV viewers.
I can’t say if people laughed or cried or just kissed two shillings goodbye. But I can say everybody is excited for what comes next for Courtney Stodden, I mean, within the range of adult fare possibilities. I kid, Courtney, I kid. Sort of. Enjoy.
To call Courtney Stodden flashing her bare boobs to the ‘secret’ cameras on Celebrity Big Brother U.K. an accident is sort of like calling Courtney Stodden a celebrity in the first place. I’m not buying it. Still, even waiting a year and a major implant surgery past her barely legal birthday to finally see Courtney’s fully exposed udders, I guess it was cosmically worth it. Kinda sorta?
It’s easy to hate on Courtney Stodden, though if we’re being honest with ourselves, she’s doing precisely what we anticipated she would beginning three years ago, so outrage seems a stretch in the least. I once again defer to the Ferdinand principle in all such controversial matters. I prefer to sit under my cork tree and smell the flowers and watch the bare funbags without a need for complications. Enjoy.
Apparently, this is the first time Courtney Stodden has been outside the United State, but she and her new gargantuan funbags, along with her elderly husband, jetted over to England for Courtney’s appearance and entrance into the Celebrity Big Brother House U.K. I might have to question use of the word ‘celebrity’, but there’s no questioning what Courtney brings to the voyeuristic camera show. She was showing most of it off, barely contained in a very tiny dress that was certain to leave some British TV censors clutching their pearls.
I’ll say this for Courtney, she’s never boring. I mean, she probably is super boring, but when making a scene in public, she knows how to make a scene alright. Enjoy.
I think I’ve spotted the new game plan for Courtney Stodden. Get enormous new breasts. Show off enormous new breasts whenever possible in public. I can’t say I’m ever against any plans related to the public exhibition of the boobtastic. I’d hate to ever be the guy who starts putting conditions on which women can or can not show off their chests in public, when they can do so, how much, etc. I always worry that once you start drawing lines, the curves go away. And God knows, we have plenty of people in our world who spend much of their life’s energy trying to get women to cover up. Having said that, Courtney Stodden might be close to jumping the shark. Or, at least smashing that shark on the head with a giant pair of DDD implants until it swims away bruised and battered to go warn all its shark friends.
Courtney was doing her new routine outside the Chateau Marmont last night, flashing ten acres of chest-front property for any and all to see. I think even her creepy old husband was trying to put a shawl around her, to no avail. But, avail ourselves of these visuals we shall. For we never forsake the funbags, lest Karma ever deem to take them away from us. Enjoy.