Claudia Jordan

Claudia Jordan Pink Bikini Dip in Miami, Just Like Tasty Heaven

Claudia Jordan isn’t just in the Forties and Faptastic club on Egotastic!, she might just be it’s social director. The veteran hottie model and TV show hostess with some craptastic reality TV in betwixt, really takes my breath away whenever I see her prancing about the beach in one of her look-at-me-now bikinis that simultaneously shoot one-thousand nearby middle school boys straight into adulthood. Whatever you say, Ms. Jordan. Can I help you carry in your groceries, Ms. Jordan. Is that your wet bikini hanging on the rack, Ms. Jordan? The possibilities are endless. I wish I could go through puberty again with her assistance.

Claudia was on the beach in Miami over the weekend frolicking in a pink bikini, splishy splashy showy sextastic. That body and that smile sent gentleman oglers scurrying for some tissues. Don’t be crude, I mean to defog their binoculars. And, you know. What can you do really in the helpless visual range of such a ceaseless passion inducing mature woman? Just accept your fate as animal and learn to turn the shame into a full time hobby. It’s sort of my entire world really. Could be far worse. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet/PacificCoastNews

Claudia Jordan Leopard Print Bikini for the Sweet Forties and Faptastic Peeks

Claudia Jordan never ceases to amaze me. Maybe that more appropriate word is send shivers up and down what doughnuts and beer haven’t destroyed of my spine. The model and TV hostess veteran hottie brings her fine self and her Forties and Faptastic bikini body out to the beach in Miami just to remind a million men what they can’t have, at least for the moment. Where there is life, there is hope. Also, money and a see Lambo helps.

As much as I love sharing photos of the young and lovelies, there will never been anything more alluring to me than the slightly more mature ladies who’ve come to learn the appropriate use of their sextastic superpowers. It’s wisdom points mixed with a healthy does of sensual maturity. Not to mention a leopard print bikini. Oh, Claudia, catch me when I swoon. Take me to your place and use me as you please. Then throw me out like the trash in the morning. I’m not a complainer and my self-esteem is conducive to bodily exploitation. Consider these strong suggestions. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews

Claudia Jordan Wears A Plunging Dress To “Watch What Happens Live”

Sexy actress and model Claudia Jordan wore a revealing outfit for her appearance on Watch What Happens Live. Andy Cohen was treated to  plunging neckline that showed off all the cleav. No cleav was to be found anywhere else that night because Claudia used it all. Her funbags are a thing of beauty. I know that if those puppies were on my Price is Right showcase showdown that I would go all in to try and win them. I remember first seeing her on the Price is Right years ago, (yes, I sometimes watch the Price is Right), and thinking that she would one day be more than just a pretty face holding up Plinko chips or whatever.

Andy Cohen gets all the breaks. He gets to hang around all of these hot chicks with spectacular cleavage and he doesn’t even appreciate it. Life is unfair.

Photo Credit: INF

Claudia Jordan and Aisha Thalia Bikini Hot and Oily Fun Time Beach Weekend In Miami

Holy hotness, Batman. Nothing to see here, just a couple dark and lovely goddesses parading about in bikinis flashing their hot bodies and rubbing each other down with oil along the beach in Miami. Wow, Claudia Jordan and Aisha Thalia had quite the good time at the beach over the weekend on not one, but two separate swimsuit struts:

I’m sure I’ve not seen such loving gal pal goodness in some time in an area of stiff bikini competition, and even stiffer ogling gentleman. Claudia Jordan we’ve seen on the beach before and always gives us a thrill, but throwing in her boobtastic model friend Aisha Thalia, it’s almost too much. As if too much sextastic skin was ever enough. I’d love to spend the day at the beach with these two being the towel boy. Also, lotion spritzer. Yes, dear, that is lotion. Enjoy.

Claudia Jordan Bikini Pictures Drop the Hot Sherbet Bomb on Miami

Claudia Jordan remains one of our unsung hottie heroes in the Miami Beach bikini set. She doesn’t get crazy attention, she just brings her A-game every time she shows up, a sextastic stalwart in the two piece fine female form department even several years now after disappearing off our televisions screens.

You’ve got to admire the lady who shows up for public exhibition work without making a fuss or demanding an audience. She leads by example. Claudia is currently leading me to many impure thoughts about her sherbet colored bikini and how I’d like to melt the real stuff over her body in long slow drips and… well, the point is, she’s a pro. Nice work, Claudia. Enjoy.

Claudia Jordan Bikini Beach Photoshoot for Bootyriffic Bounty

We’ve seen a lot of candids of Claudia Jordan on the beach in Miami, now we get a chance to see her flexing her professional muscles (not to mention some of her killer curves) in an oceanside photoshoot showing off her fine female form.

Now, I know some of you aren’t the biggest fans of big and healthy booties, and, to paraphrase the poet Sir Mix A-Lot, pass those ladies with back on down to me. Round is definitely a complimentary term when referring to a lady’s bottomside. So is ‘must have now’ and ‘I feel a spanking coming on”, though you might want to use your inner voice on those last two when out in public. Enjoy.

Claudia Jordan Bikini Pictures Present a Fine Female Form in Bright Yellow

Definitely ‘deal’ any time Claudia Jordan shows up on the beach in one of her bright bikinis, flashing her all-there banging body, reminding many across the coast in L.A. that to err is human, but stop skipping meals to try and look hot. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a lady having a curvaceous body on her. I used to call it cushion for the pushing, you know, before I got kneed in the bobos by a girl who didn’t see the compliment.

I am a constantly evolving creature. I would so love if Claudia Jordan would help me get the rest of the way toward gentlemanhood. Nekkid, naturally. Enjoy.