Chloe Simms

Chloe Sims Bikinis Poolside in Spain

English TV personality Chloe Sims is positively boobtacular in a tight bikini while on vacation in Spain.”The Only Way Is Essex” star was sporting a top that barely contained her ginormous funbags. There is all kinds of top boobage going on in these pics. Her bottoms also show off her…well…bottom. She’s got a jolly good bum, guv’nor, as a 19th century English chimney sweep might say. Chloe is playing with a Super Soaker with someone off camera. What a wonderful invention the Super Soaker is. Girls can playfully get each other all wet much quicker than with traditional water pistols but in a sexier way than with a bucket.
Hulu is always recommending that I watch “The Only Way Is Essex”. If I get to see more of Chloe I’ll gladly tune in.

Chloe Sims Nipple Slip Like Moons in the Manchester Night


Ah, those Manchester slips.

We’re not sure if The Only Way is Essex reality show has raised the level of public discourse and social intelligence in the U.K. as Jersey Shore certainly has here in the U.S., but we do know that it’s introduced the Egotastic! world to a whole bevy of buxom beauties that are more than ogle worthy, which is a true boob tube accomplishment itself. Chloe Sims wardrobe malfunction (and, with any of these girls, calling it a wardrobe malfunction seems a bit short-sighted) last eve in Manchester actually registered on our personal Richter scale in terms of personal quaking. Those twin moons are big enough to have their own moons in orbit, not to mention the high tide created when they broke free of their material constraints.

Quite a nipple slip indeed. Enjoy.

Chloe Simms, Maria Fowler, and Jessica Wright Provide a Bevy of Booty at TOWIE Wrap Party

When the girls from The Only Way is Essex get together for a party, you can be assured of three things: booze, boobs, and upskirts. It’s like the reliable trifecta of TOWIE. And when it involves flesh puppied hotties like Chloe Simms, Maria Fowler, and Jessica Wright, it’s a delightful bit of ogling indeed.

The three bombshells of Essex hit the town with a couple other cast mates to revel in their reality craptastic, flashing their major redeeming qualities including booties, funbags, and some nice legs, all in celebration of wrap on their latest season of staged reality moments. Hot girls drunk and naughty, there’s never not a good time for a double dose of that. Enjoy.

Chloe Simms and Karen Gillan Steal My Lower Heart at British TV Choice Awards

It was a tough call to decide between the obvious assets of Chloe Simms from The Only Way is Essex, and Karen Gillan, fanboy faptastic from Dr. Who, in terms of who my date would be to the very extra Britty TV Choice Awards. Luckily, my invitation to the swank event got lost in the transatlantic postal service, relieving me of such a Hobson’s Choice (not sure that actually applies here, but I promised myself  back in high school detention that I’d employ that term someday). And, wouldn’t you know, Chloe and Karen both looked absolutely amazing in their own sextastic manner.  One for the quick party, one for the long slow making of the sexy (up to five minutes, depending upon football games being on the tube). Enjoy.

Chloe Simms Right Round as DJ Cleavetastic

As you know, I continue to have no idea what a DJ does today, and how it merits them hottie model girlfriend status, versus the backyard parties of my youth, where the DJ nerds were picking songs and picking their noses and being all kinds of socially awkward. But when The Only Way is Essex cast member Chloe Simms DJs, I get that. I get it right away. The buxom brunette loves to flash her world-class knockers as she pumps up the shlocky jams, her secret talent I suppose, talents, and, well, she’s got it going on, right round. Enjoy.

Chloe Sims Flashes Her Two Turntables at a London Club

I must admit, I don’t get the whole ‘DJ’ thing. When I was a kid this basically meant running to the CD player to hit the REPLAY button on my MC Lyte disc that had all the young ladies (the two I could get to my junior parties, admittedly, one was my cousin) throwing their hands up in the air like they just didn’t care. Today, it’s somehow a celebrity occupation of sorts; pushing buttons and making the youngin’s on ex and appletinis get all sweaty and throwing shoutouts to the mixmasters and their manual dexterity.

But, when Chloe Sims, another hottie from the smash reality hit, The Only Way is Essex, parks her double-barreled cannons up in the DJ booth, then it’s time to start appreciating the disc jockey once more. The cleavage show was stupendous. Now, that, I get. Spin them funbags, maestro. Enjoy.

The Only Way Is Boobtastic: Chloe Simms Birthday Party Funbag Display

As if The Only Way is Essex could not get more boobtastic, meet Chloe Simms, who took to a club night out with her reality series co-stars to celebrate Amy Childs 21st birthday and put on a cleavage display that can only be described as mammary monumental. Rumor has it that Chloe told friends she was going to need a bigger funbag size before joining the cast of the commercially popular sign of moral decline in Britain television program. I’m going out on a limb and saying she went through with her intentions. Her love balloons appear to be set to burst mode, though, of course, some brave soul has to provide the poker. I don’t suspect there will be a shortage of applicants. Enjoy.