Cheryl Cole

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My mom used to say, 'to be forewarned is to be forearmed'. Sadly, I didn't understand what she meant, or why she'd smack me with a wooden spoon across the neck about thirty seconds after saying this and then have a laugh to herself. I was a slow kid. But, as to the movie What to Expect When You're Expecting, you've been forewarned, all ye who walk with something that dangles between your legs. And, please, don't send me your notes about some literal tit-for-tat program where you agreed to go with your girl to this movie in order to get some nookie. Unless you're getting the hummer of the century right then and there, in the movie theater, during the fifteenth joke about baby poop, you, sir, are not excused.

Nevertheless, chick flick equals hotties, so we do pay some attention to all the brouhaha marketing campaigns around such films, and the U.K. premiere last night where all the women were instructed to wear white, because that's pregnancy colors or something, but Cheryl Cole sure looked might hot in her get-up, as did Cameron Diaz, for whom I would like to retract the rumor that we started here at Egotastic! that Cameron wears pants now to public events in case her vagina falls out. I talked to my gyno doctor friend and he assured me that no matter how much sex a woman has, her vagina will not drop like spent rifle round to the floor. And, beside, Cameron looked pretty good. Enjoy.

OH, HOW I'D LOVE TO BE EXPECTING WITH CHERYL COLE

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