Chanelle Hayes

Chanelle Hayes Topless Black Lingerie Yam-Baring Perfection

 

Okay, so nobody's perfect. I mean that literally. We only chase perfection. Or in my case, my eyes chase perfection in the form of some of the hottest bodied women in the entire world passing before my eyes daily, hourly, by the second. But I always stop to smell the roses. And take the time to leer up and down at the likes of Chanelle Hayes and her body faptastic stripteasing in Zoo magazine.

Chanelle gives me hope, inspiration, and a series of neural responses that can only be described as indiscreet. Oh, to bathe in that boobtastic sea of hers. Bath time would be ever so fun with her rubber duckies in play. Chanelle, I'll draw the water, you bring the loofahs, we'll meet in the middle. You will never know a more precise cleaning. Trust me. Enjoy.

Chanelle Hayes Bikini Pictures Show Off One Super Ripe Fit Mommy

Chanelle Hayes has apparently been powerhousing in the gym of late to work off a decent amount of extra pounds put on in the offseason. From the looks of these candidly caught bikiini pictures from her Egyptian vacation, I'd say the hard work has paid off. The glamour model turned reality star turned gossip TV girl in the U.K had me mumbling for a solid five minutes before I could even get to her bikini bottoms with my line of sight.

You know how I feel about sextastic British women with jugs faptastic. It's like a man loves his mother, or his country, or his dog Buddy. Only the things I'd like to do with Chanelle would not apply to any of those other loves. Wow. I guess this hitting the gym thing does have some upside. For others, naturally. Enjoy.

Thank God It’s Funbags! Chanelle Hayes Black Lingerie Striptease for the Perfect Undressed Occasion

 

I have this recurring dream where someday I have a son and he gets to that age when he comes to me and asks if there's anything more important in life than a perfectly fine pair of funbags on a gorgeous woman. Then I laugh and punch him in the shoulder. Not hard enough to be abusive, but just hard enough to let him know I don't appreciate ignorance.

As we reach the culmination of our week, we celebrate the very essence of blissful visual exhibitions of the chesty variety. Chanelle Hayes adds to her repertoire of just such stunning wonderments with her new black lingerie topless pictorial in Nuts magazine. When I see, nay, leer for hours upon, the fineries of girls like Chanelle, I feel my world coming into balance and my chakra getting all tingly. It's how I know we're all going to be okay. The future looks grand. Am I exaggerating on behalf of the power of the boobtastic? I am not, my son. Thank God It's Funbags!

Chanelle Hayes Topless Fur Time Brunette Dreamscape

 

Oh, how many fantasies do I have of ridiculously boobtastic brunettes wrapped in fur coats that I've bought them (or found on the street after a tranny fight here on Hollywood Boulevard)? More than one, less than ten million. Something about the closeness of warm fuzzy fur on a woman who has surely shorn off all of her own natural matting, well, it's downright lust inducing. No offense to the animals who had to go to heaven for this visual treat to take place.

Chanelle Hayes dazzles in fur and not much else in the current edition of Nuts where she looks every bit the boudoir fantasy. Now, there are many things I can do for myself. Cook, clean, I've even been known to do my own laundry once a month or so. But no man can replicate the epic tingles provided by one bodacious woman topless laying across a fur coat. For that, even the most ardent bachelor requires a visit. I sure do hope Chanelle is my next visitor. The postman with envelopes with big red font 'Past Due' letters is not even a close second. Enjoy.

Melissa Debling, Chanelle Hayes, and Stacey Poole Topless Monthly Mammaries Kick Off 2014 Calendar Season

 

If you don't think Christmas is starting earlier than earlier each year, then you haven't seen my mailbox already stuffed with holiday buying guides here still in the month of September. Retailers live and die with their Yuletide sales, so it only makes sense they want a full 3-4 month window to move all their merch during the season when even the Grinchiest of bastards ends up buying half a dozen gifts.

And if you happen to be a gift giving bastard, you could do worse than to bestow upon a cherished friend or love one the blessings of the boobtastic in the annual glamour model topless calendars. And, don't you know, we've got a preview of the first few epic 12-months of funbags rolling on down the line.

Melissa Debling (above) won't just cover your wall, she will help do that yourself as well, her 2014 calendar looks just crazy hot as usual.

Chanelle Hayes Topless and Glowing In Outtakes for Ta-Ta-Tuesdays

 

I'm not exactly sure if Chanelle Hayes is glowing in these delicious topless outtakes from her August Nuts magazine photoshoot or if that halo effect around her curvaceous body is a subliminal and overpowering message from my libido to my optic nerves telling me I'm seeing an angel for whose boobtastic I should be willing to give up pretty much anything. I think Joan d'Arc had a similar kind of thing happen to here, though maybe not from seeing Nuts outtakes.

In any event, on Tuesdays, kind of like all other days, we do celebrate the best and the brightest in the world of the celebrity funbags, and the body on Chanelle. We celebrate it in song. Or our version of song, which is silent, tongue wagging primarily. Enjoy.

Chanelle Hayes Topless Outtakes Form a Halo of Hotness for Ta-Ta-Tuesday

 

If we went into lust when we first saw topless pictures of former Big Brother contestant Chanelle Hayes, consider this a descent into the desperate-to-mate upon seeing Chanelle in blessed hot topless outtakes from the very same Nuts magazine photoshoots.

As you know, outtakes invariably kick-arse on the published photos, as is the case once more with these ridiculously plump puppies of the blonde hottie. And the sunlight starbursts flashing out from between Chanelle's bare legs -- well, that's a beautiful representation of how we see all ladies lady nests. It's all magic. Enjoy.