Carrie Underwood

Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, and Heidi Klum Heat Up 2012 American Music Awards Red Carpet

Now, by this time you know how we feel about the Grammys and the American Music Awards and pretty much all other music award shows and their relationship to good music -- zero correlation. Truly. Really. Honestly. And we say that hardly as music snobs, just grown adult males for whom popular music left us long ago, or we left it, either way, we can't stand it any more than a grade schooler can brussel sprouts. It's not natural.

And, yet, there's no denying that the ranks of the pop music world are filled with some of our favorite ladies of the sextastic, some performers, some just omnipresent celebs, all of whom do manage to turn the 2012 American Music Awards into hot-watchable television tonight.

Included in our list of girls who gave us happy wood tonight on the red carpet are Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, Heidi Klum, Stacy Keibler, Hayden Panettiere, Jenny McCarthy, and Kesha (what? yep, you heard us right, Kesha, she made herself over so much we got all worked up before we realized it was Kesha -- let's call this one misdirected boner). Enjoy.

Hayden Panettiere, Taylor Swift, and Carrie Underwood Drop Some Sexy Country Bombs at the CMA’s

As I openly admit any time we discuss Country music, I know between zero and nothing of the art-form, outside of my Johnny Cash CDs and my occasional drunken arguments at bars with juke boxes that Lynyrd Skynyrd is the best country band ever. But I do know this -- there are some serious hotties and hot bodies among the ladies of Country music, and many of them made their sextastic appearance at the 46th Annual CMA awards last night, including Hayden Panettiere (who stars in Nashville now, dontcha know), Taylor Swift whose thighs we shall somewhat split asunder, Carrie Underwood who is a seriously hidden gem, and Kellie Pickler whose crew-cut only mildly distracted us from her big boobs.

These girls may be a little bit country, and I may be a little bit rock 'n roll, but damn if I don't want to make some sweet sweet harmony with each and every one of them (and by harmony. I'm guessing you're thinking the same. Enjoy.

Carrie Underwood Leg Show in Short Shorts on Today

Sure, American women were glued to The Today Show to watch happy family safe Carrie Underwood performing on national TV, meanwhile, in the Egotastic! offices, we were staring catatonic at her long shiny legs wondering just how we might make them shinier.

There are boob men, and there are butt men, but let us never forget the leg men who live in the shadows of ogling fetishists. A shadow somewhere in my neighborhood. Enjoy.

Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift Shine Like Sextastic Stars at American Country Music Awards

I'll say this for country music, while I don't quite relate to the melodramatic twangs of country living, I can relate to the large number of super hot women in and around the country music scene. Sextastic girls in tight jeans and boots is never a bad thing. And a few nights a year, those country girls get decked out, as they did last night for the American Country Music Awards in Vegas, where the likes of Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, LeAnn Rimes, and even country-by-marriage, Nicole Kidman, shone like sweet hot stars in the night reminding us  that unless we got a platinum country album on our resume, we're probably never getting in their pants. Or dresses.

But we do get to ogle. They can never take that away from us. Enjoy.

Cleavage Italiano

JWoww busts out of her shirt. (Celebuzz)

Jada Pinkett Smith in a swimsuit. (HuffPo)

I'd give Cheryl Cole a job. (FoxNews)

Carrie Underwood looks freaking amazing. (GossipCenter)

Emma Watson can't get a dude. (PopEater)

Heather Graham still has a little Rollergirl in her. (DrunkenStepfather)

Worst negotiator ever. (CollegeHumor)

Brooklyn Decker and Taylor Swift Lead List of Sexy Sweethearts at Country Music Awards

What I know about Country Music can be summed up in one short statement: I once got high with Willie Nelson. Well, on his tour bus. Well, a bus on his tour. And maybe it was tequila shots and not weed. Stories have a way of growing over time. But, to really sum it up, I don't know jack about Country Music. However, anywhere sexy celebrities go, I will follow. And, man oh man did they head out to Vegas by the hotness droves for the Country Music Awards this past weekend.

Brooklyn Decker, who's Country music connection I don't get, but glad she made the trip and packed that rack-fitting dress, Taylor Swift looked hot, if you're into Taylor Swift (as I am, in the dark recesses of my mind), Julianne Hough, who can steal a show her own hotself, Carrie Underwood who decks out like nobody's business, Nicole Kidman, who married into country, Miranda Lambert, a newcomer whose funbags are undeniably Grand Ole Opry ready, and AnnaSophia Robb, who is just everywhere these days pimping her surfer movie, and I'm glad she is. Enjoy.

Amber Lancaster Leads List of Ocean-Bound Hotties at Soul Surfer Premiere

True, but sad story. I've been surfing once in my life. Once. I got stung by a jellyfish five minutes into my paddle out, I winced and cried like a baby, some dude pissed on my arm, and my girlfriend dumped me the next day. Needless to say, I love surfing!

The Soul Surfer premiere last night brought out some super hotties to support the inspirational story of Bethany Hamilton, who got her arm ripped off by an actual real beast of the see, and still found the cajones to get back out there and ride the waves once more. Jesus, she puts me to shame. And, she's hot by the way (see below). But to last night, I was entranced by the likes of Amber Lancaster, AnnaSophia Robb (who plays Hamilton in the movie), Carrie Underwood, and Hilary Duff. Quite a gaggle of blonde betties. Enjoy.

Here's Bethany Hamilton, the tough-assed one-armed surfer girl. What did I tell you?

Photo credit: Splash News