Candice Swanepoel

Candice Swanepoel’s Hot Bikini Arse Means You’re Going to Have a Great Weekend

By Bill Swift | January 11, 2013 @ 1:57 pm

Candice Swanepoel Shows Off Her Bottom on Instagram

Well, it's that time again, good people. Four bottles of Two Buck Chuck have been cracked here in the office, though somehow I got a receipt for $17 from the delivery guy, so either my math is wrong, or Two Buck is no longer two bucks. So as we drift off into the weekend, a time we take to recharge our batteries, re-invigorate our vigor, and try to avoid running into any cousins in the Champagne Room of the local strip joint, we bid you a temporary adieu.

But, the news is not all bleak, for upon sight of the ridiculously hot booty of Candice Swanepoel that the sextastic angel took to posting herself on Instagram, we have seen the future in those polished cheeks. Your future. And, we are predicting this will be one fucking wonderful respite for you as well. Over the next forty-eight hours, we foresee rampant deviant intimate contact, and, for some of you, even with a partner. This is good news that when combined with perhaps the single best weekend of NFL football all season, means you're going to do just fine without us.

Have a great weekend from all your friends at Egotastic!

Doutzen Kroes and Candice Swanepoel Ring in Lucky ’13 With Victoria’s Secret Bikini and Lingerie Goodness

By Bill Swift | January 10, 2013 @ 7:41 am

Doutzen Kroes Victoria's Secret Lingerie and Swimwear Collection January 2013

View the Gallery / 28 Photos »

Hard as it may be to believe, given the chill in the air outside, and the fact that those beer bottles you left outside to chill for twenty minutes and forgot are now but cracked, saddened, ruined bottles of drinks that will never be drunk, but, we are in the height of bikini season. Not just the sextastic celebrities flooding the southern outline of our nation and even south of the border in their skimpy two pieces, but all the major manufacturers of delightful little bikinis now shipping to the retailers in time for Spring Break and the start of normal folk bikini time.

Along with the migration of tiny top and bottom apparel comes the onslaught, the delicious onslaught of bikini catalog shoots from our friends at Victoria's Secret, who throw in a little lingerie as well for a whole lot of love, as featured on the super hot Doutzen Kroes (above) and the uber-sextastic Candice Swanepoel in bikinis below.

Candice Swanepoel Sexy in Victoria's Secret Swim 2013 Photoshoot

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Truly, this is the season of our greatest content. Enjoy.

BATTLE ANGELS: Candice Swanepoel vs. Izabel Goulart in Dual New Sextastic Catalog Shoots for Victoria’s Secret

By Bill Swift | January 4, 2013 @ 6:48 am

Oh, man, it's almost like stepping a little too close to the sun to even imagine taking two of our most sextastic Victoria's Secret angels and pitting them against one another in a straight up hotness battle. But what's a horny boy to do when two of his all-time favorites come out with new catalog shoots nearly simultaneously, bathing their luscious bodies in little bits of silk and lace? Let's get it on.

In one corner, we have the blonde uber-bombshell, Candice Swanepoel. I feel like she's practically raised us, or, at least, raised our level of indecent thoughts over the years from standard to excessive:

Candice Swanepoel New Super Sexy Victoria's Secret Pics

21 Photos »

And in the opposing corner, her hot body pressed every so delicately against the turnbuckle, Izabel Goulart, yet another Brazilian super-babe who we've come to coin the phrase, 'Every man needs a little Goulart in their life', such is the standard of her unending allure:

Izabel Goulart Looking Sextastic for Victoria's Secret

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And, the winner is... well, you make up your own mind, but were I forced to vote, it's a close call, but edge, slightly, softly silkenly, goes to...

Candice Swanepoel Looking Stunning in Victoria's Secret Jeans Photoshoot

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My belusted. What can I say, but, enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Fine Bikini Bottom Makes Me Want to Be A Man With Better Eyes

By Bill Swift | December 13, 2012 @ 10:48 am

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Photoshoot with Victoria's Secret in St. Barts

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When Victoria's Secret heads down to St. Bart's each December to shoot their bikini special edition, well, the island suddenly fills up with more hotness talent than one atoll destination deserves. The latest to shoot is our belusted South African blondie, Candice Swanepoel, who's asstastic alone is making us wonder who detailed a life strategy we need to someday be a position to caress her bottom with being arrested.

We're guessing step one might be to become a multi-millionaire real estate developer or to star in a summer blockbuster film, so our work is cut out for us, but if it means being able to ramble gentle around Candice's smoking hot bikini body with not just freedom, but encouragement, then we at least need to give it the old college try. Enjoy.

MARYNA LINCHUK ALSO SHOT TODAY FOR V.S. IN ST. BARTS

Maryna Linchuk Heats up St. Barts for Victoria's Secret Bikini Photoshoot

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Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Pictures Bring Cheer and Cheeky Goodness for the Holiday

By Bill Swift | December 11, 2012 @ 12:45 pm

View the Gallery / 5 Photos »

Oh, Candice, the perfect bit of Yuletide candy in little bits of holiday themed bra and panties for Victoria's Secret, making even the Grinchiest of Christmas downers feel perked up. Candice Swanepoel tends to have that effect on people, seeing as she is simply one of the hottest women in the world wearing hardly any clothes.

Candice Swanepoel in skimpy little silky things, much better than a fruitcake for X-mas. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Gorgeous in Victoria's Secret Holiday Lingerie Shoot

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Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Not Nearly as Sextastic as a Gallery Full of Victoria’s Secret Models

By Bill Swift | December 5, 2012 @ 8:20 am

Miranda Kerr, Candice Swanepoel and More in Victoria's Secret Sextastic Lingerie Gallery

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They aired the previously taped Victoria's Secret Fashion Show last night on CBS, but we already brought you most of the good photos from the taping last month, and, let's be honest, as much as we respect the god-blessed work of the people at V.S. and really all lingerie makers everywhere, the show has become geared toward women more and more each year, as evidenced by the flowery costumes, dramatic staging, and inclusion of pop music stars. Honestly, when is the last time a man said he wished a hot model wore more feathers on the catwalk?

Still, while the show has gone Broadway, let us not forget the intensely sextastic underpinnings of the V.S. fashion line, that being, the literal angels who model the designs. From Miranda Kerr to Candice Swanepoel to Doutzen Kroes to Alessandra Ambrosio, some of the finest women don skimpy bits of silk and lace for the clothing retailer and we've capture a bunch of our favorites to share with you.

Rather than watch your DVR'd copy of the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, peer through this gallery of some of the sexiest women on the planet in bras and panties and not much else. You'll thank me later. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel As a Topless Brunette? Yes, We Can Work With This

By Bill Swift | November 12, 2012 @ 3:20 pm

Click to See Uncensored

Candice Swanepoel Topless and a Brunette in 10 Magazine Winter/Spring Edition

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When we first heard that our belusted V.S. supermodel Candice Swanepoel was going brunette for 10 Magazine, we got kind of inquisitive, like a dog that smells an unfamiliar scent; when we heard she might be topless in the shoot, we got inquisitive like a dog that smells a dog in heat down the block. The kind of inquisitive that sends even an old mutt bounding over a tall backyard fence.

While the artsy factor is high, and the topless views limited, we can't help but be pleased with this magazine pictorial, a chance to ogle our skin-baring sextastic Candice in a new light, a brunette light, and this is always something we shall enjoy.

See More Candice Swanepoel Topless Goodness »