January really just might be the best month of the year for lingerie visuals. Odd, but true. Maybe it’s the lead-in to Valentine’s Day, or just the fact that everybody is sick of the cold winter weather and the visual treat of world class hotties in bras and panties or often less is precisely what their cockles need for warming. I’m hardly complaining, usually just begging for more.
Manic magazine dedicated their current issue to the luscious lovelies of the lingerie angel world, including Adriana Lima, Doutzen Kroes, and Candice Swanepoel, baring their faptastic bodies in little bits of silk and lace to remind everybody what they already knew: seeing these sextastic models half-nekkid will dramatically increase your heart rate. Shhh, listen, can you hear it? That’s not a pitter patter, that a resounding beat after seeing Adriana Lima covering her chest with her slightest of limbed modesties. Heavenly girls are such a blessing. When they start wearing nothing but panties, that’s a downright miracle. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Manic Magazine
If it’s January, it must be Swanepoel bikini magic time. It’s hard to imagine but Candice Swanepoel has been ringing in the new year’s bikini fashions for Victoria’s Secret for about seven years now. I think it’s fair to call her a veteran angel at this point. It’s more than fair to call her an uber-sextastic bikini pimper of the highest order who just keep getting hotter and hotter. There’s something to be said for longevity. That thing is mostly ‘bless you, Candice’.
In yet another epic show of the world’s hottest swimsuit body, Candice comes out swinging for the fences, with booty and sweet boobtastic, for the January edition of the Victoria’s Secret catalog. I can see the allure both for the male of the species as well as the bikini buyers hoping they can pull any kind of Swanepoel mojo with their purchase of similar styles. I wish them luck. It seems daunting, but who wants to live without dreams? Especially those involving Candice and a slight sunburn on her bikini line that needs tending to. Hot then cold, then repeat. I don’t even need a compress. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret
Another blessed part of the winter season is watching the Victoria’s Secret girls shipped around from island to island finding various beach backdrops to catalog shoot their derrieres and bikini hot bodies for the big Spring sales upcoming.
The likes, the very very likes, of Behtai Prinsloo, Candice Swanepoel, Lily Aldridge, and Alessandra Ambrosio were showing off their stellar sextastic bikini bodies in Puerto Rico for the first shoot of January. I’m going to to go ahead and say each of these boobtastic heavenly creatures maintained their rigid diets and workout schedules during the holidays. I don’t see an ounce of fat. I do see many ounces of totally passion inducing bikini body awesome. Time to phone my V.S. sales rep and get into my first buys of the season for the shame closet. How can you not look at these girls behinds and not want to buy something? Enjoy.
Photo Credit: INF
With the New Year comes the ever ticking imminent clock of Valentine’s Day. Hard to believe but you’ve got a month and a week to get that perfect for somebody special. Naturally, I will be taking the lust of my life, Candice Swanepoel, to see 50 Shades of Grey then out to In & Out Burger for some double doubles then back to the studio apartment mansion for endless rounds of David and Bathsheba. I like to throw a little biblical color into the holiday passion.
As a preview of my own Valentine’s evening, Candice was kind enough to model some very bits of V.S. lingerie being pimped specifically for the fine ladies on February 14th. As you know, each year I caution you against purchasing lingerie for your girl despite the upside you envision. It’s a trap. It’s always been a trap. It will always be a trap. Get flowers and a cashmere scarf, if you can eat the cost. Trust Uncle Bill. I’ve been around that block. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Victorias Secret
Candice Swanepoel is one effing sexy santa. (Hollywood Tuna)
Robin Thicke’s 19-year-old girlfriend April Love Geary is friggin hot. (TMZ)
Edita Vilkeviciute in frilly lingerie made my Christmas Eve special. (Drunken Stepfather)
Daniela Lopez Osorio has got some big ‘ol funbags in these underwear pics. (Popoholic)
This Alessandra Ambrosio advent calendar makes me wish I was Catholic. (COED)
I sure would like to wrestle around with WWE’s Lana. (Busted Coverage)
Emmy Rossum wore a see-through shirt and it is good. (Celebslam)
Candice Swanepoel does one thing and she does it so damn well she’s hard not to admire, if not imagine over 17,000 ways in which you could show her how your admiration plays out during a game of doctor. She is simply the pre-eminent bikini and swimsuit model. Not that there aren’t dozens of other supremely fine ladies who model the bathing suits so faptastically. But Candice simply takes it up another notch, to the libido volume eleven, where all things tingly and fun exist.
In her latest and greatest sultry swimwear shoot for Victoria’s Secret, Candice dispels the silly notion that winter has just begun, with a pictorial so blessedly hot, it could very well be the cause of the polar bear suffering at the poles. You can almost see steam seeping off her wicked hot skin in these mind numbingly sextastic snapshots. I don’t know exactly how she does it, I’m not sure she even knows how she does, I just know I never ever want her to stop. Now, I must rest. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret
Have you ever thought to yourself, hmm, I wonder what uber-sextastic Candice Swanepoel might look like in tight revealing workout gear doing all kinds of sweaty physical activities? I know, me too. And here’s our answer.
Posing down, posing off, and just plain exuding sweaty udder hotness, Candice Swanepoel pimps the shizz out of Victoria’s Secret exercise clothing line for women with outrageously hot bodies who want to make every man at the gym feel supremely uncomfortable, yet not so much that they ever look away. That would just be rude. I’m pretty sure I’d rapidly change memberships to the facility where Candice shows up in these outfits to get fit, even if that means writing a letter to the Costa Rican headquarters of these gym outlets and waiting six months to be told my gym cancelation will be processed in another six months. I’d do that for the sight of Candice and that smoking hot body of hers. Also, to be part of the class action suit down the road. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret