Candice Swanepoel

Candice Swanepoel Legs Are Where the Fun Begins

Hey, you. Yes, you, the guy who's been staring at the lovely chest and tight booty and blessedly taut tummy of Candice Swanepoel for several years now. What about her perfectly toned model legs? Hath thou forsaken thy Swanepoel stems?

Well, no longer, as Candice's sextastic long legs were on full display as she walked in a fashion show in New York. Any legman knows that lust begins at the feet and works its way up to the E-ticket rides, not the other way around. What's the point of an adventure without a tantalizing trek along the calf and thigh trails? That's rhetorical. I don't have time for real questions when Candice is strutting her stuff on the runway. All eyes forward and gam leering. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel and Karlie Kloss Celebrate Bombshell Day In Front of Bras and Panties

If you're going to make up a holiday called Bombshell Day, you've got to come up with the bombshells to come give the day some meaning. I'll say this for Victoria's Secret, they deliver on their trumped up holidays. Candice Swanepoel and Karlie Kloss definitely rise to the level of top notch lingerie pimping talent. Two extremely good looking ladies all decked out and hanging out at the Victoria's Secret store in Manhattan to remind people that you have but a few shopping days left until Valentine's Day.

As sextastic and fine as Candice and Karlie are, I hope you will heed Uncle Bill's warning not to purchase lingerie for your girl for the 14th of February. I understand the temptation. But the risk-reward is way too high. I'm not talking out of my ass (though, that would be a neat party trick). Learn from my mistakes. Go teddy bear, flowers, nice restaurant, whatever is easily and recognizably appreciated without body issues brought into the mix. On Valentine's night, you want the lamp going off with a giggle, not going off in a crash against your cranium. Stick to the plan, my good men. Do not let the Sirens of sultry lingerie goodness divert you down the path of classic misstep. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Closes Out January With Bikini Excellence

Oh, that delicious whale tail on Candice Swanepoel signals the final bikini of January on Egotastic! What better way to close out one of the better bikini months of the year than with the uber-sextastic South African flashing her heavenly beach body in skimpy two piece suits for Victoria's Secret.

Candice doesn't put on bikinis, she holds them up and her body grows perfectly inside of them. It's like some of the most sextastic voodoo around. There's no other explanation for how perfect her wicked hot booty and tanned female form fit into those little pieces of spandex and nylon. I really need to open an investigation into this matter. Maybe get a grant. That's the ticket. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Swanking Sextastic Nipple Slip for Vogue

I happen to like Candice Swanepoel. You may not think she's super fine, but I sure do. I see past the perfect body, the long blonde hair, the killer looks to the women on the inside. Well, at least inside her top where her perfect perky pair lay almost exposed and her heavenly nipple appearing in this new pictorial for Vogue magazine.

I can't help but feel that Candice Swanepoel and I have had a love affair for the past several years. She may not know it, or feel it, or be aware of it outside of the legal protection she seeks from me entering the same nation as her at any given time. Still, it feels very real to me. I'm happy with my choice. Not all stalkers can say that about the women they futilely chase year after year. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Pictures Are Ever Giving Gifts of Hot Body Goodness

I like to think people are born for different roles in life. Not that you can't alter your destiny, but you may never ultimately change your innate gifts. Candice Swanepoel was born to model lingerie. She may decide to be a doctor or a pilot or an underground sewer line maintenance worker, but there may never be a better natural lingerie model. I think we can find other people to work the sewers who don't work so perfectly in little bras and panties.

In her new photoshoot for Victoria's Secret, Candice shows the full range of her hot body and alluring promotional talents. All that and some serious self-holding funbag skills. She's a keeper. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Pictures Put the South African Uber-Sextastic Model In Her Element

The dead of winter is when bikini models come alive. It's the biggest time of the year for the slender hot bodied ladies from around the world who make two-piece swimsuits look like magical vessels of the sextastic. Right at the top of that list is Candice Swanepoel who has been perfecting the fine art of Victoria's Secret bikini modeling for the past several years now. And winter is her magic hour.

Featured in the latest and greatest V.S. pictorial, Candice shows off some new name bikini line that looks so incredibly hot on her, not only are the women of the world going to buy tons, I'm quite certain this is a purchase for my own shame closet. Yes, I'm slowly coming to realize there's little chance Candice herself will ever come included with the bikini purchase, but where there is an ounce of hope, there is a ton of desire. Candice does this so very very well. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Is Everywhere Not Wearing Much Clothes

Candice Swanepoel is a busy girl these days. She must be shooting nearly 24x7 these days. This is a good thing. As any sports junkie can tell you, there aren't too many Bowl games there are too few. Bring on more Beef O' Brady's. And bring on even more Candice Swanepoel.

The uber-sextastic South African model's latest appearance is covered nekkid in an alluring mini pictorial in Vogue Brazil. I'm not sure what it means or what she's selling, I just know daddy wants. Oh, yes, daddy wants very badly. In 2014, I do promise to stop calling myself 'daddy'. Though I shall never give up lusting Candice. Enjoy.