Brooke Burke

Brooke Burke Almost Bikini Top Drop Is Almost Awesome

The Brooke Burke bikini vacation continues in the South of France with even more asstastic, more MILFtastic delights, and an almost-awesome wonderment of a dropped bikini top from the former E! Hostess and world’s most prodigious hot mama. I call Brooke Burke ‘five tears’ because of how many droplets of happiness stream down my cheek every time I see Brooke  in hardly any clothing.

Give me a woman with a hot tan, a killer body, and the wisdom of a few years any day and I’ll be quite gracious. Enjoy.

Brooke Burke Bikini Pictures Heat Up the Tropics

Not to be outdone by Erin Heatherton on the very same island, Brooke Burke took to the shorelines of the Caribbean with her husband (who killed a bulk of our great photos of Brooke, thanks, douche) to flash her inexplicably hot MILFtastic bikini body and mostly just make every other woman on the beach insanely jealous. Brooke Burke seems completely untouched by Father Time and Mother Baby; it’s quite possible she even birthed out six more pups on this very same vacation, but still manages to look ridiculously sexy in her skimpy swimsuit. It’ truly a blessing not in disguise. Enjoy.

Brooke Burke Works Her Body And Blows Your Mind

Did I mention today was ridiculously hot MILFtastic Tuesday? It’s official now, with these Malibu beach workout pictures of Brooke Burke, and a guy who actually gets paid to build and rub her muscles (as if I wouldn’t give my life’s fortune, or approximately $17. to have that job), stretching, shaping, and toning one of the hottest mom bodies in Hollywood. I always joke about Brooke Burke having had twenty-seven children, not true. But she has pushed four puppies down Reproductive Boulevard and, well, her body is downright extraordinary. Undoubtedly, the most flexible woman on the PTA and a celebrity hotties whose every lunge, crunch, and squat, lives forever in my libido. You go, Brooke. Enjoy.

Brooke Burke Boobtastic Puts the Mmm in MILFtastic

As you may know, each month, a small mountain of women’s magazines arrives at the doorstep of my quaint pied-à-terre, a time at which I must brave the taunts of the neighborhood middle school boys to retrieve my periodicals, only to be met by the sweet relief of locking myself into my abode for several days of page turning. Beyond the perfume sample scents and the wonderful ideas for looking fabulous at forty or dropping 15 lbs. in the last week before my wedding, there are the bevy of beautiful celebrities not originally intended for the male viewer, but those which I know deserve sharing among the more hirsute gender.

Case in point, Brooke Burke in Redbook. Oh, sure, Brooke Burke and her ridiculously hot body after bearing something like 17 children naturally through her motherly pipes is an inspiration to women everywhere. But she’s also hella hawt and a boobtastic fantastic celebration for the optical nerves of the gentleman ogler. Booke Burke in a bra top jogging, and smelling like eau d’ toilette, right here on the pages of my Redbook. All I need is a pint of Hagen Daaz and I’m in heaven. Enjoy.

Brooke Burke Sweats It Out on the Big Ball (VIDEO)

We can hand our virtual MILF awards all day long, but nobody but nobody has the lasting long body after having like 17 kids as does Brooke Burke. Is it heaven sent? Yes, in part. But this girl works it hard to keep that ridiculously sexy body in shape after offloading a poundful of puppies through her offspring tract. And there’s nothing I delight in more than watching somebody work out hard from the comfort and convenience of the king La-Z-Boy recliner here in the offices. See for yourself if Brooke inspires you to roll over your own workout balls. Enjoy.

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Brooke Burke Will Never Be Not Hot

I have this feeling like you could build a time machine, jet forward a thousand years or so, find Brooke Burke, and she’d still be hot. Check out these Brooke Burke pictures from the Stuart House Benefit over the weekend. She’s clearly drinking from some kind of fountain of hotness because she just seems to get sexier and sexier as she gets older. Personally, I was gorgeous in middle school, and, now I’m down to just super hot. But not Brooke Burke, she’s building in sextastic toward some kind of uber Great-Great-Grandmother-ILF that will cause the universe to implode when one million young men eight decades her junior suddenly begin fapping to thoughts of Brooke Burke. Don’t worry, when that time comes, we’ll be live blogging here on Egotastic! Enjoy.

Photo credit: Fame

Leopard Print Memories Brought on by Hollywood Fashion Event

 

Oh, faux pas Jaime King and Lesser Good Looking Hilton Sister, for attending the UK Style French Connection Event wearing matching frocks, albeit, the style of the evening seemed to be geared on leopard print, so the odds were always there, but bet your keester some publicist or wardrobe girl was unceremoniously canned last night after the gig. That’s how Hollywood rolls, baby, when you take a walk on the wild side.

Beside the matching twins, the event featured Carmen Electra, one of my veteran hotties who sadly refused to remove her jacket (read as: new boob job), and Wild On wild one Brooke Burke, who despite having like seventeen children pushed through her vajayjay, continues to look downright lean and animal. Enjoy.

Photo credit: Splash News

I must say, as me and the indentured slave kids I use for labor here were discussing hot celebrities in wild jungle outfits, none of them could even remember the amazingly sexy Gena Lee Nolin in her fabulous portrayal of Sheena, Queen of the Jungle on television about a decade ago:

And, yes, while I grow long in the tooth and short in the beard, twas only your humble blogger among all these illegal workers who could remember that that the Sheena TV show was based upon the early 1980′s movie, Sheena, featuring the one time replacement Charlie’s Angel, Tanya Roberts, in full boobtastic glory:

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