Britney Spears

Britney Spears Bikini Pictures Cleaving In From Hawaii

Okay, it’s telescopic, but thanks to purple bikini technology, we’ve managed to get a first glimpse of pop diva Britney Spears in her bikini on her current vacation with her former agent who I think is her husband now, but, regardless, it’s Britney Spears bikini photos.

I know some of you out there are hard on Britney, or hard for… you get the idea, we happen to think Britney is looking better now than she has in years. Maybe it’s because she’s off the psych meds and off the Mickey D’s Value Meals, but Brit may just be back. We’ll need a few more closer-in bikini pics before rendering final judgement. Enjoy.

Britney Spears Brings Two Wonderful Assets to Her X-Factor Judgeship

It’s not like Britney Spears is without talent. In fact, Egotastic! was one of the few sites out there applauding Britney for venturing out last year on her Dances With Elephants worldwide concert tour, or whatever it was named, something like that. Yeah, a little zoftig in the middle after seven or eight years of batshit crazy binge eating, but she did manage to pull it all together and give those screaming teens and foreign middle-aged men their ticket price worth of entertainment.

So, when Britney got tapped to be a judge on X-Factor, and a lot of people out there were questioning her qualifications to judge a music talent show, or, really be the judge of anything, we were and are quick to defend Britney once again. We see true judicial talent in Britney. In fact, we saw two pieces of this talent nearly falling out of her red dress today on the way to a show taping. As long as those faptastic chest gavels are still banging, we’re still supporting our Britney. Enjoy.

Britney Spears Shows Up To Her First Day at Work In Tight Short Pink Dress

Everybody gets a little nervous on their first day at the new job. It’s just kind of a feel it out, how should I dress and look and act kind of time. But Britney Spears nailed it pretty good in her new X-Factor judges gig, in a tight short pink dress that just about speaks to why Britney Spears is on the show — eye candy.

Of course, the girl is going to get a little catty in her wardrobe now that Demi Lovato has also signed on in this sort of combination judge’s table slash psych clinic that the X-Factor has geared up for Season Two of the show that seems to have no purpose really other than to extract even more money from teen girls. But I suppose making money is a purpose unto itself. And Britney in tight pink, that’s a good way to get the wallets open. Enjoy.

Britney Spears, Demi Lovato, Kim Kardashian, and Adrianne Curry Lead the Self-Published Sextastic Twitpic Roundup

The sisters are most definitely doing it for themselves again this week as the sextastic celebrities just can’t get enough of themselves, self-publishing pictures of their own hot selves because too much exposure is never quite enough for these girls who love to live in the spotlight, and we like to observe them, like leering scientists without proper credentials.

This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes the overly tanned cleavage of Kim Kardashian, Vanessa Hudgens and Stella Hudgens being showy playful, Adrianne Curry flash-bulb covered nekkid, Britney Spears nearly busting out of her dress, and much much more self-published must-sees. Enjoy

Super Short, Super Tight, Super Low Cut White Dress — Britney Spears Is Back!

Okay, so much of this is smoke and mirrors (and makeup and Spanx and ropes and harnesses and a four-day starvation diet) but still, Britney Spears looked undeniably former-Britney-esque as the good moneymaking folks at Fox brought the former world superstar out for show at the Fox Upfronts to announce her as the new X-Factor judge.

Now, I must admit, I watched ten minutes of last season’s X-Factor before suffering both a migraine from the rapid camera movements and the startling commencement of a menstrual cycle by the time the fifth contestant broke down in sobbing tears, I’m not sure I can go through that bloody headache again. But I might just have to figure out a way to watch Britney if she’s going to be doing a cleavage and upskirt-potential show week in and week out, and lay off the Burger King runs in betwixt.

When Britney is on, she’s still on, IMHO. Enjoy.

Kim Kardashian Not Afraid to Drop Monster Cleavage Bomb at Somber Clive Davis Pre-Grammy Party (Even Britney Is Eying Her Funny)

Here’s how I think Saturday night went down for Kim Kardashian.

About noon time, she starts squeezing into her spanx and dress for the Clive Davis Pre-Grammy Party at the Beverly Hilton Hotel, a rather inexplicable invite to begin with considering Kim Kardashian’s sole contribution to the world of music is Jam, Turn It Up, and playing human slide trombone for a handful of R&B music artists.

After hours of her stylist and wardrobe assistant and make-up artist working her over, and Kris Jenner reminding her daughter that condoms are important if you’re sleeping with anybody under a $50 million net worth, Kim looks in the mirror and realizes that her bountiful funbags and body look the height of perfection, the absolute bomb for stealing the show. Then, Whitney Houston dies upstairs in the hotel. And suddenly the big Clive Davis pre-Grammy bash goes from player-fest to funeral-mood. But, there’s no way in hell Kim’s changing out of that dress. And off she goes.

And wasn’t Britney Spears, packing some low cut boobtastic exhibitions herself, glad when Kim came along and make Britney look like she was dressed for a memorial by comparison. Just check out Britney checking out Kim’s jug-ulars and see if you don’t agree with our assessment of what’s racing through her Louisiana grey matter. And, do enjoy.

Britney Spears Gives Her New Fiancé A Preview of Their Wedding Night

Crass? Yes, you bet. On the other hand, if you just dropped a big chunk of change on a rock to become the third Mr. Britney Spears, and given her past track record, and the obvious pre-nup forthcoming denying you claim to all past, current, and future diva-related incomes, well, dammit, you’re going to want to know about the upside coming your way. In that spirit Britney Spears gave a little sampling of said benefits to future betrothed Jason Trawick at their Vegas engagement party over the weekend.

Will this matrimonial parlay prove to be worthwhile for Jason in the long run, once the pixie-dust and skilled fellatio have been replaced by the smell of wet socks and the quiet despair of sex in front of the television while eating a 20-piece Chicken Nuggets? (Man, I got depressed just writing that; sorry, married people.) Enjoy.