Well, what the hell. The power’s out in New Orleans, and while we didn’t quite have another staged Janet Jackson moment, Beyonce, who for the record, looks effin’ amazing, somehow managed to keep her nips from showing at the Super Bowl Halftime Show despite what appeared to be the violation of several laws of physics (like I know physics). We can only assume it’s some evil combination of tape and glue and nipple covers and the like. CBS doesn’t want another FCC multimillion dollar fine.
But, so far, it’s been the highlight of the game (unless you’re a Ravens fan, and not a poor sucker who bet on the 49ers, ouch so far).
(Photo credit: CBS)
Forget lip-synch controversies, that’s child’s play concerns, let’s talk Beyonce and her mommy body, which whether she did delivery Blue Ivy or not, is looking rather MILFtastic these days now that she’s back on the Hottieville circuit, performing, prepping for her Super Bowl appearance, and just all around looking might fine.
Beyonce hit Radio Row in New Orleans for the NFL to promote the ball game that truly needs no promotion, but, silliness aside, we got a chance to see Beyonce flashing her cans and still one of our favorite curvaceous bodies in the business. We care not about lip-synching, but lockings lips and hips, that’s another matter. Enjoy.
Blasted Terry Richardson gets all the good photo assignments, both the little kitschy cool half-nekkids shoots in hotel rooms, and high-end pictorials of A-list stars, such as Beyonce, in her first sextastic pictorial since having her baby, featured in the current edition of GQ magazine.
Now, we’ve always had a deep, profound, and asstastic type affection for Beyonce, before baby, and the way her body is looking all bendy and curvy and delicious post-baby, I’m thinking we’re going a little deeper into the profound. Enjoy.
(Check out the full interview and photo gallery with Beyonce in GQ’s February 2013 edition.)
Why do I love girls on watercraft so much? I need to consult with the shrink on this one, but there’s something a-tingling as Beyonce powers her Jetski across the Mediterranean, lapping around the giant yacht she and husband Jay-Z and baby with a stripper name, Blue Ivy have been vacationing on the past few days.
Now, as much as I’d love my own yacht, I’m kind of rubbing the genie lamp moreso thinking about holding tight onto Beyonce as she powers us through the waves to our secret little island where I can make another child with Destiny’s Child. Enjoy.
Beyonce has now officially recovered from her pregnancy, or fake pregnancy, or whatever it was that had her in hiding for a few months before and right after their stripper-named baby, Blue Ivy, was born.
Beyonce and Jay-Z have been in Paris the past couple of days shopping and I guess probably doing some shows and being granted some medals by French arts people. But, more importantly, Beyonce has returned with the body we ourselves so badly wanted to make with-child, or even fake-child. The booty, the top on display with her sheer see-through fashions in the City of Light. Enjoy.
Now, the last time I got invited to a costume party, I attended the event dressed as one of the members of the Teletubbies, so you can imagine how long ago that way, like three or four years now. And I somehow didn’t receive my invitation to the more prestigious, celebrity A-list only Metropolitan Museum of Art annual Costume Gala, that brings out essentially every single top tier star in Hollywood to this swank N.Y.C. dress up event. I bet they’re not serving up Gino’s Pizza Rolls in that shindig.
While not invited, we still get the benefit of seeing this amazing plethora of sextastic celebs, of which we picked our 15 or so favorites, led by the likes of the super busty hot Scarlett Johansson, ever red carpet stealing Sofia Vergara, Cameron Diaz looking especially bosomy protruding, and Anja Rubik in a dress you will not soon forget, just to name a few.
Check them all out and see who you think would make your hottest virtual prom date. Enjoy.
I’m not so sure about these rumors that Beyonce didn’t have her own baby, that she used a surrogate. I mean, somebody would have to explain the mammoth mammaries the diva flashed out in New York City last night in her first public appearance since the birth of Blue Ivy (the stripper named baby) just one month ago. Those flesh puppies are titanic, I’d like to smash my iceberg up against them if you know what I’m saying, and, yeah, I think you do.
Either Beyonce is engorged with milk or this is one of the best visual effects jobs ever. Enjoy.