Well, the minute Beyonce denied pregnancy rumors last week, you pretty much knew they were true. The pop diva is with-child with baby number two now and while we always support the miracle of child birth, at some point we’re worried about this once body-holy woman losing some of her greatness. I know, it’s probably not the case, but I still worry like an expecting dad every single time.
Let’s take a look back at some of our favorite pictures of Beyonce so I can become even more anxious and paranoid about her body sextastic going away forever. Enjoy.
Nice to see my girl Katie Holmes back in the mix, flashing some skin by way of sideboob at the fancy pants 2013 Met Gala last night in New York. The Met Gala is one of the biggest highfalutin celebrity events of the year, with a ton of A-listers showing up in their designer gowns for the Big Apples biggest red carpet.
Besides Katie we couldn’t help but notice Miley Cyrus calling upon an 80′s Euro-pop vibe, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Alba showing some cleave, Kate Beckinsale, Taylor Swift, and a bunch of other top tier celebs showing off their finest. It’s kind of like the very first sequence in a recurring R.E.M. sleep fantasy of mine, the one right before the the robbers break in and force all the girls to hand over their fancy frocks. I could tell you what happens next, but this is a family site. Enjoy.
I’m not sure how much is real and how much is technology, but I’m going to just imagine this is 100% Beyonce, the curvy hot woman I lusted before, during, and after her pregnancy. And damn she looks good in a bikini. Not quite the thong song candids we’d like to see of the wicked hot diva. But it’s all good. I mean, it’s really all good, I’m checking her from all angles.
At some point Beyonce will be leaving Jay-Z, it’s just a celebrity marriage lifecycle thing. I do hope she’ll consider my offer to come live in my guest house, or, you know, vice-versa, since I don’t have a guest house, or a house. We’ll find an aunt or somebody to take the baby. Nothing should get in the way of our lovemaking. Although I suppose babies naturally do. Enjoy.
Okay, granted, there’s some serious Photoshopping going on with these Beyonce photos for the latest edition of Shape magazine. And, yes, it is easier to be in shape with the help of an airbrush. Still, nobody is ruining my Beyonce hot mommy body fantasies today. She looked amazing before baby, and maybe a little thicker after the baby, but anybody who watched that Super Bowl Halftime show knows that Beyonce is more than equipped to create lustful feelings in the hearts of men.
You can have your skinny girls, or airbrush away the padding, give me a girl with some cushion and a strong vocal range and I am already in heaven. Enjoy.
I’ll say this, I’m not much for celebrities at the age of 31 filming their memoirs of trials and travails to reach their level of stardom mostly because, well, mostly because fans can already worship them in so many other ways, that a film to your own self seems a bit silly when you can really just go on a bunch of talk shows to tell everyone how awesome you are. But, I suppose some people want to see how Beyonce went from child star to uber-wealthy diva, sort of like pornography for girls.
There’s no denying that Beyonce has been looking wicked hot since her return to the bright lights after maternal leave, as she did last night on the red carpet of the premiere of her documentary, flashing some serious chestal region views, in a dress that reveals once more one of the most eye-popping curvy bodies in all of Hottieville.
Is it worthy listening to a woman go on and on about her problems and triumphs over things such as ‘dealing with an overbearing daddy’ simply because she’s smoking hot and you really want to get with her? Absolutely. But you already know that from experience. Enjoy.
First, thanks to a million and one of you who sent us this clip purportedly showing the Beyonce nipple slip at The Super Bowl Halftime Show. We remain somewhat unconvinced I must say, most likely due to some kind of nipple covering likely placed over the MILFtastic bosom of the very hot looking Beyonce. But, we are merely dirty old men with 40-30 vision on a good day. So, you be the judge.
Like I said when the whole Beyonce inaugural lip-synching controversy broke — who cares. Let’s be honest, like the music or not, Beyonce looked effin’ hot last night at the half time show of The Super Bowl, flashing her newly yoked MILFtastic body, and wearing an outfit that many people were certain was flashing her headlights, though we remain fairly convinced she was wearing some headlight covers in the least. Nevertheless, that couldn’t entirely take away from just how silky curvy smooth the alluring diva with the killer body looked as she reunited with her Destiny’s Child pals, what’s her name and the other one.
Yes, Beyonce is back. Back in our ‘man I’d like to explore that curvy body inch by inch’ naughty minds. Back where she belongs. Enjoy.