Beyonce

Beyonce Bikini Pictures Pimping Hot for H&M

I'm not sure how much is real and how much is technology, but I'm going to just imagine this is 100% Beyonce, the curvy hot woman I lusted before, during, and after her pregnancy. And damn she looks good in a bikini. Not quite the thong song candids we'd like to see of the wicked hot diva. But it's all good. I mean, it's really all good, I'm checking her from all angles.

At some point Beyonce will be leaving Jay-Z, it's just a celebrity marriage lifecycle thing. I do hope she'll consider my offer to come live in my guest house, or, you know, vice-versa, since I don't have a guest house, or a house. We'll find an aunt or somebody to take the baby. Nothing should get in the way of our lovemaking. Although I suppose babies naturally do. Enjoy.

Beyonce Flashes Her Shapely Hot Legs (Airbrushed, But Still a Dream)

Okay, granted, there's some serious Photoshopping going on with these Beyonce photos for the latest edition of Shape magazine. And, yes, it is easier to be in shape with the help of an airbrush. Still, nobody is ruining my Beyonce hot mommy body fantasies today. She looked amazing before baby, and maybe a little thicker after the baby, but anybody who watched that Super Bowl Halftime show knows that Beyonce is more than equipped to create lustful feelings in the hearts of men.

You can have your skinny girls, or airbrush away the padding, give me a girl with some cushion and a strong vocal range and I am already in heaven. Enjoy.

Beyonce Flashes Chest for at Premiere of Her Documentary, ‘I Love Myself Almost As Much As You Love Me’

I'll say this, I'm not much for celebrities at the age of 31 filming their memoirs of trials and travails to reach their level of stardom mostly because, well, mostly because fans can already worship them in so many other ways, that a film to your own self seems a bit silly when you can really just go on a bunch of talk shows to tell everyone how awesome you are. But, I suppose some people want to see how Beyonce went from child star to uber-wealthy diva, sort of like pornography for girls.

There's no denying that Beyonce has been looking wicked hot since her return to the bright lights after maternal leave, as she did last night on the red carpet of the premiere of her documentary, flashing some serious chestal region views, in a dress that reveals once more one of the most eye-popping curvy bodies in all of Hottieville.

Is it worthy listening to a woman go on and on about her problems and triumphs over things such as 'dealing with an overbearing daddy' simply because she's smoking hot and you really want to get with her? Absolutely. But you already know that from experience. Enjoy.

Did Beyonce Slip Some Nip at The Super Bowl Halftime Show? (VIDEO)

To Nip or Not to Nip?

First, thanks to a million and one of you who sent us this clip purportedly showing the Beyonce nipple slip at The Super Bowl Halftime Show. We remain somewhat unconvinced I must say, most likely due to some kind of nipple covering likely placed over the MILFtastic bosom of the very hot looking Beyonce. But, we are merely dirty old men with 40-30 vision on a good day. So, you be the judge.

Beyonce Halftime Show: Nip Slip or Merely Staged Trickery?

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Beyonce Doesn’t Quite Slip, But Shines Sextastic at Super Bowl Halftime

Like I said when the whole Beyonce inaugural lip-synching controversy broke -- who cares. Let's be honest, like the music or not, Beyonce looked effin' hot last night at the half time show of The Super Bowl, flashing her newly yoked MILFtastic body, and wearing an outfit that many people were certain was flashing her headlights, though we remain fairly convinced she was wearing some headlight covers in the least. Nevertheless, that couldn't entirely take away from just how silky curvy smooth the alluring diva with the killer body looked as she reunited with her Destiny's Child pals, what's her name and the other one.

Yes, Beyonce is back. Back in our 'man I'd like to explore that curvy body inch by inch' naughty minds. Back where she belongs. Enjoy.

Beyonce Almost Flashes Full Teat at Super Bowl Halftime Show

Well, what the hell. The power's out in New Orleans, and while we didn't quite have another staged Janet Jackson moment, Beyonce, who for the record, looks effin' amazing, somehow managed to keep her nips from showing at the Super Bowl Halftime Show despite what appeared to be the violation of several laws of physics (like I know physics). We can only assume it's some evil combination of tape and glue and nipple covers and the like. CBS doesn't want another FCC multimillion dollar fine.

But, so far, it's been the highlight of the game (unless you're a Ravens fan, and not a poor sucker who bet on the 49ers, ouch so far).

(Photo credit: CBS)

Beyonce Drops Super Mommy Cleavage for Super Bowl Radio Promotion

Forget lip-synch controversies, that's child's play concerns, let's talk Beyonce and her mommy body, which whether she did delivery Blue Ivy or not, is looking rather MILFtastic these days now that she's back on the Hottieville circuit, performing, prepping for her Super Bowl appearance, and just all around looking might fine.

Beyonce hit Radio Row in New Orleans for the NFL to promote the ball game that truly needs no promotion, but, silliness aside, we got a chance to see Beyonce flashing her cans and still one of our favorite curvaceous bodies in the business. We care not about lip-synching, but lockings lips and hips, that's another matter. Enjoy.