The lovely ladies of lingerie heaven moved over to the British Isles for the U.K. version of the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. The British girls love their silk and lace quite a bit too, don’t you know. So Candice Swanepoel
and Alessandra Ambrosio
and a gaggle full of the world’s hottest lingerie models shipped themselves and their bra and panties over to England for a show of sextastic and elastic.
For some reason only me and my imaginary older man friend Bert truly know, I really love the look of the girls backstage in their kimonos perhaps even more than the show itself. Something naughty and cheeky about visiting these wicked hot women whilst prepping for their catwalk. Maybe it’s the idea of peeking where I don’t belong, or just that all my perfect job search result lead me to be oil boy backstage at a lingerie show, but I just feel at home. Oh, that this were my home. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Getty Images / Splash News
, thy name is sextastic. I’d like to find an outlet for my jealousy for that undeserving bastard who went and stole my Namibian dream girl and made her unholy. Not that I can’t think of twenty-nine ways to reconsecrate her outrageously hot bikini body into something pure that I might once again defile in my own specific manner. Still, it burns me just a bit to think she and I aren’t going away to a Swiss Alps luxury cabin this winter to lock ourselves in throes of passion until the Ricola guy comes by to ask us to keep it down.
Featured in the new Victoria’s Secret bikini catalog, Behati shows exactly why her modeling career is going to last a good long time, even if she does end up making Maroon 5 babies against my better judgement. Just something about her that screams, buy my bikinis, ladies (and oddly fetish minded men) and you too will look like me. It’s a gift. I’d like to help her tie a ribbon around it for Christmas. No hands required. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret
It’s hard not to leer at the beautiful Namibian female form of Behati Prinsloo without feeling a little of the jealousy thing to Adam Levine and his lucky lucky junk. Alas, Behati was taken off the market before I even had the chance to show up at her door with a box of CVS chocolates and a single plastic rose and tell her how nicely I’d treat her if only she agreed to move into my shack. Timing is everything in life. Having $20 million in the bank and being a celebrity music star doesn’t hurt either I suppose.
Nevertheless, the universe is free to ogle the fineries of Ms. Prinsloo as in her latest round of lingerie visual wonderments for Victoria’s Secret. Behati is a petite, au natural girl with heaven sent beauty and a lean body designed for precisely what she’s doing. Like a Swiss clock. Who’s Namibian, though equally as unaffordable perhaps. Enjoy.
We have a new sneak peek at the lovely topless and black and white likes of model hotties Abbey Lee Kershaw and Behati Prinsloo quite without clothes and flashing their lovely yams for photographer Russell James and his glamorous new book, Angels. I think it’s on sale soon. I think it would make an awesome edition to my own library of hotness.
There are two tricks to producing such outstanding works of topless visual wonderment. First, convince some of the world’s best looking women to take their clothes off for your camera. That step one is no small hurdle. Seriously, try it. The second is to be a skilled shutterbug with the right lighting and just enough spray bottles to keep your lovely lady models properly moist for visual capture. That second one is a unique skill as well, though I dare say I could excel in the art of the spray bottle. Please, Russell, hire me for your next shoot. I will work for sandwiches and memories. Enjoy.
Behati Prinsloo should wear nothing but bikinis. (Drunken Stepfather)
Sweet Jesus, it’s Sofia Vergara in a bikini. (Huffington Post)
Rosie Jones topless for Zoo magazine will make your day. (Hollywood Tuna)
Isabeli Fontana sure knows how to wear some underwear. (Popoholic)
What’s a day without some Emily Ratajkowski in panties? (The Superficial)
Rila Fukushima can make me arrow fly anytime, if you know what I mean. (COED)
Michael Strahan’s new girlfriend Marianna Hewitt is seriously hot. (TMZ)
Behati Prinsloo may have married what’s his face and broken my heart just a little, but she’s still my favorite Namibian sextastic celebrity in the entire Namibian sextastic celebrity universe, very much including her heavenly hot work with Victoria’s Secret and other lingerie and bikini wear lines. She’s lean and slender and au natural and possibly could use a sandwich, but I’m still digging heavily on her inherent hotness, killer smile, and a lithesome body that I’d like to lie some next to, if you know what I’m saying.
Naturally, I’ve become all-too accustomed to these repeated blows of seeing my belusted hotties marry some more famous, wealthier, lucky bastard with amazing hair. The hurt never goes away but I suppose all the scarring leaves the flesh a little tougher for the process. Behati, please, hurt me right someday. Enjoy.
I’m not ashamed to admit I’d like to conjugal with Adam Levine’s slender new Victoria’s Secret wife. He’s done the same to plenty of other people’s future wives, so it seems kind of fair in some weird undetermined way. Behati Prinsloo is a skinny thing like most of the V.S. models, but I could easily whisk her away to my mountain top cabin I don’t really have and feed her bear fat and crackers for a month until she gets to a move comfortable mass. Then, the love making of epic proportions shall commence, with the leftover bear fat used to grease our overheated loins.
Behati was looking all kinds of sextastic simply hanging around and I guess starring in her new husband’s music video for a Maroon 5 song likely to sound like all the last few Maroon 5 songs. Oh, those naughty little waifs and the roleplay we would engage in. I already have my principal’s yardstick ready to go. I really hope I don’t catch her smoking. Enjoy.