Hello, Hotties. Or should I say, buenos dias, los hotties? Lovely bits of fine female form Behtai Prinsloo and Joan Smalls continued the Victoria’s Secret barrage on the isle of Puerto Rico strutting through the streets shooing a commercial for the lingerie and skimpy clothing line merchandiser.
I can’t imagine the sensation of having these two beauties actually passing by in the street, but I can easily associate with every single synapse in the body firing simultaneously leaving me convulsing into a spastic bit of jelly whilst staring. Complete strangers do offer to help me in these moments, restoring my faith in humanity. We really should judge a society by how they care for their horniest members. And seeing Behati and Joan smiling and prancing, I’m going to need a village. Also, probably, a modesty blanket. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet/Instagram
Another blessed part of the winter season is watching the Victoria’s Secret girls shipped around from island to island finding various beach backdrops to catalog shoot their derrieres and bikini hot bodies for the big Spring sales upcoming.
The likes, the very very likes, of Behtai Prinsloo, Candice Swanepoel, Lily Aldridge, and Alessandra Ambrosio were showing off their stellar sextastic bikini bodies in Puerto Rico for the first shoot of January. I’m going to to go ahead and say each of these boobtastic heavenly creatures maintained their rigid diets and workout schedules during the holidays. I don’t see an ounce of fat. I do see many ounces of totally passion inducing bikini body awesome. Time to phone my V.S. sales rep and get into my first buys of the season for the shame closet. How can you not look at these girls behinds and not want to buy something? Enjoy.
Photo Credit: INF
Behati Prinsloo sure knows how to sport a bikini. (Celebslam)
Kim Kardashian wears a crop top to Paper Magazine party. (Huffington Post)
Sara Malakul Lane‘s covered naked boob? Yes, please! (Drunken Stepfather)
Yara Khmidan‘s bikini body makes my mouth water. (Hollywood Tuna)
Usher charges his phone from hot naked girl’s vagina. Yup. (TMZ)
Isabeli Fontana in lingerie will melt your eyeballs. (Popoholic)
Is this a pic of Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss making out? Probably not. (Dlisted)
The lovely ladies of lingerie heaven moved over to the British Isles for the U.K. version of the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. The British girls love their silk and lace quite a bit too, don’t you know. So Candice Swanepoel
and Alessandra Ambrosio
and a gaggle full of the world’s hottest lingerie models shipped themselves and their bra and panties over to England for a show of sextastic and elastic.
For some reason only me and my imaginary older man friend Bert truly know, I really love the look of the girls backstage in their kimonos perhaps even more than the show itself. Something naughty and cheeky about visiting these wicked hot women whilst prepping for their catwalk. Maybe it’s the idea of peeking where I don’t belong, or just that all my perfect job search result lead me to be oil boy backstage at a lingerie show, but I just feel at home. Oh, that this were my home. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Getty Images / Splash News
, thy name is sextastic. I’d like to find an outlet for my jealousy for that undeserving bastard who went and stole my Namibian dream girl and made her unholy. Not that I can’t think of twenty-nine ways to reconsecrate her outrageously hot bikini body into something pure that I might once again defile in my own specific manner. Still, it burns me just a bit to think she and I aren’t going away to a Swiss Alps luxury cabin this winter to lock ourselves in throes of passion until the Ricola guy comes by to ask us to keep it down.
Featured in the new Victoria’s Secret bikini catalog, Behati shows exactly why her modeling career is going to last a good long time, even if she does end up making Maroon 5 babies against my better judgement. Just something about her that screams, buy my bikinis, ladies (and oddly fetish minded men) and you too will look like me. It’s a gift. I’d like to help her tie a ribbon around it for Christmas. No hands required. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret
It’s hard not to leer at the beautiful Namibian female form of Behati Prinsloo without feeling a little of the jealousy thing to Adam Levine and his lucky lucky junk. Alas, Behati was taken off the market before I even had the chance to show up at her door with a box of CVS chocolates and a single plastic rose and tell her how nicely I’d treat her if only she agreed to move into my shack. Timing is everything in life. Having $20 million in the bank and being a celebrity music star doesn’t hurt either I suppose.
Nevertheless, the universe is free to ogle the fineries of Ms. Prinsloo as in her latest round of lingerie visual wonderments for Victoria’s Secret. Behati is a petite, au natural girl with heaven sent beauty and a lean body designed for precisely what she’s doing. Like a Swiss clock. Who’s Namibian, though equally as unaffordable perhaps. Enjoy.
We have a new sneak peek at the lovely topless and black and white likes of model hotties Abbey Lee Kershaw and Behati Prinsloo quite without clothes and flashing their lovely yams for photographer Russell James and his glamorous new book, Angels. I think it’s on sale soon. I think it would make an awesome edition to my own library of hotness.
There are two tricks to producing such outstanding works of topless visual wonderment. First, convince some of the world’s best looking women to take their clothes off for your camera. That step one is no small hurdle. Seriously, try it. The second is to be a skilled shutterbug with the right lighting and just enough spray bottles to keep your lovely lady models properly moist for visual capture. That second one is a unique skill as well, though I dare say I could excel in the art of the spray bottle. Please, Russell, hire me for your next shoot. I will work for sandwiches and memories. Enjoy.