Award Shows

View the Gallery / 9 Photos »

Honestly, this award Jessica Alba got all decked out and ogle-worthy to receive in Italy over the weekend, I'm pretty sure it's a bogus ruse just to get Jessica to show up smoking hot at your party, and I guess it worked because the uber-MILFtastic modeling mama showed up to receive her Giffoni Film Award and, presumably, everybody had a good laugh afterward,  I mean, after a solid wank (or whatever it's referred to in The Boot).

I'm currently mailing off the invitation to Jessica to come to my special award ceremony. They're called the Woody Awards. they take place in my bedroom, and I'm going to recommend she wear something classy, but definitely machine washable. Enjoy.

JESSICA ALBA CAN MAKE YOUR HEART RACE, EVEN WITH CLOTHES ON

8 Photos »