Ashley Greene

Miley Cyrus Headlines and Asslines iHeart Radio Festival (Along with Katy Perry, Avril Lavigne, and Ashley Greene)

You knew Miley Cyrus wasn’t going to close up her dog and pony show act before iHeart, the biggest pop music spectacular of the year in Las Vegas each September. She put on quite the noteworthy performance, including several key see-through costumes and her now customary tongue wagging and twerking. The kids ate it up, as did many a gentleman ogler.

Joining Miley on stage in the diva category were Katy Cocktease strutting her wares and Avril Lavigne doing some kind of Twisted Sister homage or something. It didn’t hurt that Ashley Greene showed up to announce and hang out in a loose bit of clothing. Life could be worse. Though it is hard to imagine worse music.

Here’s a bunch of the sextastic ladies who made it out to Vegas for the red carpet as well, including Our Lady of Maria Menounos, the Kardashians and Jenners, naturally, and Courtney Bingham:

Ashley Greene Nipple Peeks Out During Her Covered Topless Bikini Scene on Set

Wow, just wow. When I think of how much I heavily belusted Ashley Greene just a couple years ago, only to see her literally drop off the radar in terms of public appearances, let alone naughty sexting photos, well, this is quite a pleasant return to hotness for the gone-underground hottie actress.

Shooting the obvious tour de force cinematic venture known as Staten Island Summer, Ashley was directed to perform a little topless sunbathing scene, covered likely for the sensitive folks at the MPAA, but we did catch a little nipple peeking from our long range steamed up photo lenses. Ah, Ashley Greene nipple, one of the eleventeen hundred parts on Ashley Greene I’d like to dedicate an entire weekend of adoration too. That’s be the weekend just prior to the one devoted to the small of her back and subsequent to little piggies in high heels weekend.

Ashley Greene, it is beyond time that we did something very naughty together, for real, not just in my imagination. Call me. Enjoy.

Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Green Bikini Pictures Hang the Perfect Ten Down in Bali

Wow, I really do need to get that yacht soon that I’ve been saving up for. Rounding up, I’m nearly to 1% of the money I need to make a downpayment on a sloop that might attract the likes of twin water nymphs Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Greene to lay across my bow in their bikinis. Hot damn that’s straight out of so many late night dreams of the past few years. Not one, but two of these extremely good looking sweet bodied ladies laying out upon my vessel.

Vanessa and Ashley are down in Bali pimping something worthy of getting these two stellar ladies into bikinis and working on their surfing and suntanning skills. And just creating some amazing visuals for any long time fan of both Vanessa, and especially Ashley who we rarely see much from these days. What a way to kick off the summer. Enjoy.

Happy Cleavetastic Birthday, Ashley Greene (Call Me, I’m Waiting In Your Special Spot)

Few women have moved me over the years as Ashley Greene has moved me. Moved me to tears. Moved me to smiles. And forced me to move my Ikea Billy to lay down plastic sheeting on the living room parquet panel flooring when I’ve had too many Ashley Greene induced smiles. Ashley Greene stirs the primal passion pot with her unassuming sextastic, not to mention some funbags that I’d kill any one of you for the opportunity of an eight second bucking boobtastic ride.

Well, today is Ashley’s birthday. And, as is my annual tradition, I’ve got a room for Ashley and myself at the local Red Roof Inn, a garden view no less, and stocked it with enough chalupas, Korbel champagne, and WD-40 to ensure a night of birthday passions interrupted only by the occasional bouts of gastrointestinal distress. I hope the annual tradition of Ashley standing me up does not hold. Without hope, what do we have?

Take a look at 10 cleavetastic photos of Ashley that remind me why I’ve fire branded her name onto my jewel sack. And, yes, that was hella painful. Happy Birthday, Ashley.

Ashley Greene Sweaty Yoga Pants Workouts Continue to Drip on Our Dreams

My best guess, Ashley Greene is toning up big time for an upcoming movie role, maybe just award season, but something has this super hottie hitting the gym daily, and sweating up a storm in her yoga pants, and, yes, we are scoping the sweat stains, I mean, it’s a natural by-product of our camel toe searches. What can we do?

Ashley Greene and I are bound to be together, locked in some type of XXX embrace, the Fates have spoken. I only hope when she arrives she’s not toweled off yet. Enjoy.

Ashley Greene Moist With Anticipation of Our Weekend Meeting That May or May Not Happen

Just when I thought I was the most excited man in the world about the opportunity to stow away with Ashley Greene to my Red Roof Inn junior suite with nothing but a Party Pak of Chalupas and a reserve of testosterone from a monk-life existence, oh, Ashley Greene goes and one ups me with some sweat around the crotchal region that seems to indicate she received one of the 137 letters I’ve recently sent her inviting her for this magical weekend getaway.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Ashley is just all wet in the succubus sections because of a strenuous workout mixed with ever-blessed yoga pants and the chances of her giving herself over to me for Cow-Jumped-Over-the-Moon cosplay in my motel room, well, about as likely the Chiefs take the Super Bowl in the next decade. But, I’m a hopeless romantic when it comes to Ashley Greene. So I shall sit and stare at her sweaty spots until I hear that knock on my second-floor-overlooking-the-parking-lot door. Enjoy.

Ashley Greene in Leather Flashing Legs; Be Still My Beating Body Part

Wow, talk about passion inducement. My long time fantasy of absconding Ashley Greene for a weekend retreat at my Red Roof Inn suite with nothing but a party pack of Chalupas and some chaffing cream has now taken a new twist. And that twist is called leather and legs. The kind Ashley Greene was flashing at a swank affair in Sin City, veritably reinforcing the ‘sin’ part of the city.

Now, I’m told this was some type of grand opening event. But, for the life of me, the only grand opening I can imagine at the moment is… well, let’s keep this family friendly. Let’s just say that I’m going to need a bigger ice cube. Ashley Greene, you are the effin’ bomb. Enjoy