Lea Michele gets her sexy on. (GossipCenter)
Kristen Bell is sheer awesomeness. (Celebuzz)
Olivia Wilde naughty tattoo. (HuffPo)
Kim Kardashian in three asstastic dimensions. (FoxNews)
Anne Hathaway of wearing short shorts. (Popoholic)
Game of Thrones the videogame. (CollegeHumor)
Eva Longoria see-through top. (DrunkenStepfather)
Anne Hathaway is another one of our more popular '50-50' girls. Half of you want to make many babies with her, half of you don't get her at all. I'm kind of in the middle of the middle in that group; I find her pretty hot, though something about her tells me she might not make the best girlfriend (though, granted, my sensibilities in relationship and romantic matters are borderline retarded). Nevertheless, the girl looks pretty damn good in the July edition of Harper's Bazaar, where the serious thespian, with mega bonus points for going full topless in her last film, looks to be channeling some classic movie stars of the bygone era. Yep, high maintenance. Enjoy.
I have a friend who tells me there's no such thing as a wrong fantasy. Of course, I'm paying her by the hour, so I sometimes feel like she may be telling me what I want to hear. These rather innocuous pictures of the restrained sexy Anne Hathaway in schoolmarm spectacles at the Rio premiere -- well, what's a boy to do? I mean, sure, we could start by being disruptive in class, being asked by Ms. Hathaway to clean the chalkboards after school, you know, while she grades papers and you're too scared to look at her directly because her scornful gaze over those thick lenses might just put you in an anatomically awkward situation? Oh, Ms. Hathaway, is the ruler really necessary? The yardstick? Oh, my. Enjoy.
Wow, well the Oscars are over, finally; the only thing more overworked than James Franco's medical marijuana card was the mind numbing repertoire of phony humble speeches pooped upon the world by people whose parents were way too kind to them as children. I'm glad my own heads of household told me each evening at bedtime how I would never amount to much; now, when my Lotto scratcher pays off $5, I'm truly and thoroughly excited. Nevertheless, like most guys, I watch the Academy Awards dutifully each year to see which actresses looked hot and to pretend that they were my sharp looking date to the Sizzler. This year's crop of sextastic celebrities was relatively thin, I think it has something to do with the economy or gas prices or Oprah getting fat again, but there just wasn't a bevvy of hot actresses, certainly not to make any all-time lists. Still, there were standouts in bazillion dollar get-ups, looking mighty fine, and, in no particular order...
Scarlett Johansson
Freshly single ScarJo looked as hot as she could given the constraints of having to wear clothes. There's all kinds of see-through going on with what I'm sure was a dress that cost more than my monthly annual lifetime paycheck. Revenge is a dish best served super hot, Mr. Ex-Husband.
Natalie Portman
Yep, despite being pregnant by a ballerina named after my favorite video arcade game, I can't stop dreaming of Natalie and her newly blossoming bosom.
Penelope Cruz
Speaking of tripping the post-pregger lights boobtastic, Penelope Cruz, was showing off her big mama guns on the red carpet at the Academy Awards. Leche con hottie, anyone?
Reese Witherspoon
Okay, this is mostly for Cousin Jonathan who would die just to smell Reese's gym towels (seriously, just ask the security staff at The Sports Club/LA). Still, Reese does keep herself pert and perty whether in her daily stretch pants jogs or decked out on the world's most watched red carpet.
Camila Alves
Damn, all the MILFs are killing me tonight. This Brazilian model hottie mostly just makes me hate Matthew McConaughey.
Jennifer Hudson
Am I the only one noticing the transformatus sextastique taking place with this former American Idol? Dang diggity dang. Just a tremendous renaissance of hotness with the perfectly placed bosom this evening.
Nicole Kidman
She's hot. Everybody knows she's hot. The only complaint I ever hear is people who think she's overrated as an actress. Oh, yeah? You spend eleven years pretending Tom Cruise is straight without so much as cracking a smile.
Mila Kunis
Black swan. White swan. I don't even remember. But I do know she is no longer dating the boy from Home Alone, she's a super Hebrew School hottie, and I'd definitely like to know what she's not wearing to the Oscars.
Jennifer Lawrence
Winter's Bone at full mast, my friends. Dang, this newcomer is just about stealing the hotness show in bright red on the red carpet. I can't wait to see more of her, so much more.
Amy Adams
She really has been stealing the award season spotlight this year. Even forgetting her being yet another new baby mama recovering super hottie, Amy Adams just looks ridiculously fine every time she steps out into the spotlight.
Anne Hathaway
She did look a bit too much like the girl who snuck into her mom's makeup drawer and went nuts, still, she was the hostess who had to suffer an evening long partnership with Dr. Stiffy Smiles, and on the off-chance someday Anne appears in my bed in her Love and Other Drugs guise, well, not only will I not kick her out, I will blare the trumpets and speed dial an off-duty Sears photographer.
Gwynneth Paltrow
Okay, so, singing ain't her strong suit. And, maybe, she's not the hottest tool in the tool shed any longer, but give props where it's due. Going braless in sheer gold in front of a billion people? That takes some lady cajones.
Photo credit: Getty Images / Splash News / bauergriffinonline.com
Selena Gomez in a see-through top. Taint nothing wrong with that. Oh, how we love to see this barely legal hottie for real, in even a little bit of her body glory. Someday, we shall have her all nekkid, I'm convinced, but, for now, this is quite nice.
Shoutout to Egotastic! superfan 'Moe K.' for bra-baring Selena.
Well, it's now official, Anne Hathaway will be portraying the naughty-pussy Catwoman in the next installment of the Batman movie series. Oh, who could have predicted this unusual casting choice an entire year ago? Well, we did! Kinda sorta not really:
Holy Anne Hathaway Hotness, Batman! (02/05/10)
Thanks to 'David C.' for pointing out our genius when we ourselves had completely missed it. Such is the nature of genius!
Do you notice a similarity in dresses on the forever-boob-baring Paz de la Huerta?
Well, Egotastic! reader 'Portugal J.' noted that Paz may have borrowed her dress from the Muse topless photoshoot to wear to the Golden Globe Awards (and promptly rip and malfunction in a drunken stupor).
Thanks to all who update us regularly on their sexy celebrity detective work!
Okay, those who stuck with me through the night know that I was in some trouble with my girlfriend for ogling down the hottest celebrities on the red carpet at this evening's 2011 Golden Globe Awards. I'm in the doghouse, but while I am, I'm going to envision a cathouse filled with my favorite sexy celebrities of the evening (in no particular order of preference, all these ladies may assault me in perverse ways at their discretion):
Anne Hathaway, Dianna Agron, Emma Stone, Megan Fox, Sofia Vergara, Eva Longoria, Maria Menounos, Naya Rivera, Nicole Kidman, Amy Adams, Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry, Heidi Klum, and Mandy Moore.
Photo credit: INF Photo / Fame
Remember to check out Celebuzz if you're looking for a full fix of pics and stories from the 2011 Golden Globe Awards.
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Egotastic
SPOILER ALERT: Anne Hathaway as Catwoman Will Make Your Dark Knight Rise
Okay, granted, this is a stuntwoman standing in for Anne Hathaway on the set of The Dark Knight Rises, clad in the skin tight fetish costume that is going to make the gonads of seventeen million fanboys explode in one simultaneous cosmic faptastic death about a year from now, still, an absolute must see.
Check out that ride. Check out that pose. And check out that asstastic. And, lest you worry that the real Anne Hathaway won't stand up to her double, check her out in tight shorts and tank top on set and let not your ogles be troubled. Enjoy.