I must be honest with you. I have no video for you this week. I was thinking of some excuses, but mostly it’s just because I watched way too much college basketball this weekend in addition to my weekend volunteer work of course, which coincidentally involves drinking lots of domestic beer and filling out early March Madness brackets. In short, I throw myself on the mercy of all sports addicted men who’ve ever had one too many. So, most all of you.
Nevertheless, it was quite a skin baring week on the little screen, as captured in various stills of Emmy Awesome in the shower on Shameless, her new revealing costar Nichole Bloom quite topless, Ivana Milicevic and Lili Simmons just being two crazily underrated TV hotties with bodies built for show, Lena Dunham naturally au natural to say the least and her co-star Allison Williams in a love making scene of her own. Jessica Parker Kennedy and a couple other naughty pirate wenches baring bare bodies in Black Sails on Starz and Rocio Palaez quite topless in the Spanish television drama, El Principe. Oh, yes, I went there. Enjoy.
Back in the day, this kid Steve Fairly-Weathers had a brilliant idea to get a bunch of us high school kids laid. We’d invite over a bunch of girls from school to his place for chips and dip, and subtly drop in the adult films he had procured from his friend who had a friend who worked at a black-bag video store. Surely, the members of the fairer sex would be so overwhelmed with uncontrollable urges brought on by Ron Jeremy as the grabby office boss that a veritable bacchanalia would break out and a Roman style orgy would ensue. Yeah, no. Steve Fairly-Weathers got punched in the stomach by a girl named Sue and the Vice-President of the Chess Club I had a crush on called me a pervert and told me not to talk to her at school ever again. Point being, the man’s way is no way to get a woman.
The same can be said when it comes to the world of women’s fashion. Granted, what we know personally about fashion can be summed up as ‘quick trip to Target to buy new retro t-shirts, don’t forget coupons’, but when it comes to the clothing for the hot ladies, we surely have preferences, generally starting with no clothes, and pretty much concluding there. However, early life lessons learned the hard way, if you want to get the sexy ladies to show up, you can’t have a nekkid fashion awards. If only. So you need to put together something like the Vogue Fashion Fund awards, where the hot celebrities can get all decked out and compliment each other on how amazing they look even though they’re jealous as hell of each and the in-tuned male of the species can tell them how amazing they look because he knows that’s one of the five secret keys to opening the lady vault and, suddenly you have a thing.
And that thing brought out the likes of Rebecca Romijn, Olivia Wilde, Amanda Seyfried, Allison Williams, Rooney Mara, and Karine Vanasse. A full on sextastic bunch of grapes. And nobody had to get punched in the stomach. This is the value of forward thinking. Enjoy.