Sometimes I feel like Lindsay Lohan matches her bikini colors to her mood. Or, maybe she’s just really hungover in the morning and grabs whatever she can find laying on the floor. I wouldn’t blame her for doing the latter since that’s my standard mode of dress each morning. But if it’s the former, then why so blue, Lindsay?
Yes, your head is throbbing and your tongue tastes like cotton balls dried on the back of a desert tortoise beneath the baking hot sun. And, yes, you’re headed to court ordered rehab shortly for a 90-day drying out that will likely include some serious bouts of D.T.’s. And, okay, yes, you’re far too risky for any production company to ensure you in a TV show or movie any longer. And, finally, you have bruises on your leg indicating some type of rough recent encounters with various stationary or moving objects.
But, you’ve got the sun and the sand and the surf and that blue bikini and the world is still watching, so smile, smile, smile. Enjoy.
There are so many things that don’t mix well with Lindsay Lohan these days (cocktail references excluded).
One has always been bras. Lindsay Lohan hates bras. That’s one of the things we love about her. The other thing is apparently helicopters. Because Lindsay got so shaken (not stirred) by her helicopter transport down on her Brazilian pimping and partying before rehab mini tour that she didn’t notice her boob fell out of her dress.
Now, I’ll deny this in court if ever questioned in a criminal matter, but I pretty much know when my junk is hanging out bare outside my clothes. But Lindsay, some yaws, pitches, and rolls, and out comes the righty. If not for Lindsay’s long locks, she would be fully and udderly exposed. Enjoy.
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Lindsay Lohan is celebrating her last few hours of freedom from her latest court verdict to pimp a few store openings down Rio, hit a few clubs, and imbibe the local refreshing bottled water out partying late night. Now, I’m suspecting if you test those water bottles, they may not come up entirely pure. I’m guessing 80 proof.
But whatever Lindsay was pounding, it seemed to be working, as she looked better than she has in some time. At least based upon her mug shots and court appearance and stumbling gaits home after hours.
We’ll miss Lindsay when she’s in rehab. But not as much as her dealers I suspect. Enjoy.
So apparently giving gifts that give back is a real thing that people can do now and it’s supposed to make the giver feel good. You give a loved one a gift of a donation to a worthy cause and you do it in that loved one’s name. It’s like you’re putting a down payment on their ticket to get into heaven.
This type of gift-giving is NOT what we have in mind this Valentine’s Day as we come up with our list of gifts that really give back. And we mean that in the most direct way possible. As in, we get something cool and awesome out of giving you this gift. At Egotastic! we often do things the wrong way and sometimes on purpose, sometimes for fun but it’s always without fear. It’s not easy working through this cocktail of abandonment, resentment and lactose issues we’ve got. Angrily choosing our V-Day sweethearts and offering gifts that come from the wrong place in our hearts is right up our alley; a cold, dark and unforgiving place as you’d ever want to be on Valentine’s Day. Read more… »
Well, these have been trying times, literally, tried by a court times, for the former gingertastic actress Lindsay Lohan. The music and bright lights have faded, now playing mostly only in her head as he parents and hangers-on try to milk what’s left of her for some level of modest fortune.
But, there’s still something sextastic burning inside of Lindsay, a desire to cast off the shell of her former self she walks around in these days, and it came out last night at the amfAR event for AIDS Research in New York, where Lindsay worked the cleavage, tried to clean herself up, and reassert some starlet power on the red carpet. Did it work?
Well, you can be the judge. We’ve learned with Lindsay that any hope we place upon her return to any type of greatness is pretty much false optimism at this point. Enjoy.
Apparently, Lindsay Lohan just wants to be a movie star. And, what with the grade school thespianic performance in Liz & Dick, along with the rumored to be unwatchable, if not illegible, The Canyons, maybe or maybe not appearing on screen, who can blame the budding film powerhouse.
Hence, according to our friends at TMZ, despite being way behind on rent and taxes, not to mention having to dig into her pocket for yayo change, Lindsay Lohan has turned down a $555K offer to appear on Dancing with the Stars, because she ‘doesn’t do reality’.
I guess everybody has their line in the sand, or lines on the mirror.
Lindsay Lohan, TMZ