Celebrate Cinco De Mayo With The Running Of The Chihuahuas

Today is Cinco De Mayo, the day when White people celebrate the obscure Mexican victory over the French at Puebla by drinking margaritas until they puke. It's kind of a silly holiday that is barely even acknowledged in Mexico. This weekend was also the Kentucky Derby, when White people watch horses run in a circle and drink mint juleps until the puke. How can we combine these two events into a single stupidly wonderful thing? The running of the chihuahuas, of course! 101 of the little Mexican dogs ran a race in Winter Park, FL sponsored by a local Mexican restaurant. The race ended in the bar. Not surprisingly a dog named Hemingway won by reaching the bar first. These are the kinds of asinine things that make other countries look at us and shake their heads. There are worse ways to celebrate Cinco de Mayo, like pretty much every other way.

I really don't like this holiday. I'm Cuban, what the F do I care about the battle of Puebla. And yet this has become some pan-Latino holiday that I'm supposed to treat like my birthday and Christmas wrapped up into one. My Mexican friends don't even give a crap about it. So, enjoy your margaritas folks and watch these little dogs run around.