Mario and ‘Mortal Kombat’ Collide; Balls-Out Crazy Ensues (VIDEO)

Super Mario Kombat
Poor little dude.

We all know of Nintendo’s family-friendly stance. Mario is generally seen cruising happily through the Mushroom Kingdom, amidst a shitstorm of bright toontastic colors, jangly music and all of that cutesy stuff.

That’s the way it is, the way it should be and the way it damn well must be. Remember that nip slip from Princess Peach? That was more effing scandalous than Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction. Well, it would have been if it had happened. Anywho, we’re getting off topic.

Youtube is world renowned as the home of weirdery and procrastination, so it’s just the place you’d expect to find something like Super Mario Kombat. This is NicksplosionFX’s splice-and-dice of Super Mario World and Mortal Kombat, and it’s three minutes of your life you’ll never get back.

But why would you want to? Who wouldn’t want to trade a lil’ portion of their life for the chance to see Sub-Zero punch a Bullet Bill in the face? Nobody we know, that’s for damn sure.

Check Out the New and Improved Badassery of ‘Doom Reborn’ (VIDEO)

Doom Reborn
Well that's going to smart.

Doom, as we all know damn well, is the ultimate in man-tastic manly gaming. With its studly space marine and relentless gung-ho blood-leaky action, this is as masculine as it gets. Players have been known to grow huge effing Game of Thrones beards, or lose the ability to admit they’re lost and ask for directions on road trips, while getting their Doom on.

That’s how damn manly this game is. Just so we’re clear on that.

Nevertheless, nobody can deny that it looks like shit today. It may have a proud legacy as the grandpappy of the FPS, but man does it look piss-poor. That’s what the inexorable march of technology does to our cultural heritage. And our desire to shoot hideous flesh-things from the depths of the devil’s ass right in the face. Or both.

What we need, then, is a way to keep the original Doom alive without subject our eyeballs to its jaggedy, jagged jagginess. Doom Reborn looks set to fit the bill with style.

This, right here, is a mod that brings the first two games to life using the Doom 3 engine. It’s a work in progress, but it’s already looking quite sexy. This is one to keep an eye on.

Via Kotaku.

Lizzy Caplan Topless, Gretchen Mol Topless, Rachel Korine Topless, It’s the Boob Tube Roundup (VIDEO)


The best boobtastic of today's celebrity, outside of hacked Clouds, exists on the small screen as the big screen leans ever more toward child robot fare. Not that there's anything wrong with child robot fare, it is my standard date film. But grown up movies for grown ups with grown up body parts are becoming ever more extinct. Meanwhile, on the small screen, funbags are thriving.

This week's Boob Tube Roundup includes a long look at Lizzy Caplan topless once more in Masters of Sex. What a dame as they used to say in the 50's, I think. Also making a chesty appearance, Gretchen Mol in the final season of Boardwalk Empire, something we haven't seen from her since the earlier seasons of the show. And, lastly, Rachel Korine flashes her gingerly teats in The Knick, continuing its first season run to much sextastic acclaim. Three fine ladies, six honking honkers. It's the Boob Tube Roundup. Enjoy.

The First Official Trailer for ‘The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1′ Is Finally Here, So Watch It Already

Watch Trailer

I'm not going to try to explain everything that is going on in the first official trailer for Mockingjay – Part 1. For starters, it's just too hard explain this dystopian future in the limited space I have here. And more importantly, I don't want to ruin anything for people who have not seen (or read) the previous two instalments in the Hunger Games franchise, because I have a hunch that, after they've seen this trailer, they will want to watch the first two movies.

What I will say is that, given how Catching Fire raked in a whopping $864.6 million worldwide with just a $140 million budget, I'm surprised Lionsgate is only splitting the third and final book of the original trilogy into two parts. It's so unambitious. If it were me, I'd put Zeno's dichotomy paradox to the test and keep dividing the last instalment in half, stretching it out forever.

Then again, maybe Lionsgate is just hoping Suzanne Collins will eventually add to the Hunger Games universe. Everybody loves a good prequel, right?

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 hits theaters November 21, 2014.

‘GTA V’ on PS4: Now With Extra Creepy Mimes and Crap on the Radio (VIDEO)

Grand Theft Auto V PS4
Ooh, fancy.

For many of us, the PC edition of Grand Theft Auto V has been the big effing deal of late. Well, screw many of us, because that particular release has been bumped back to 2015. January 27, if you want to get all technical and precise date-y.

In the interim, the spangly new next-gen edition is hitting PS4 and Xbox One this November. At which point, the game will have been doing the rounds for over a year already. So what we want to know --what we clench our meaty fists, pound them on our desks and freakin’ demand to know, because it's Monday and Mondays are wank-- is, has it been worth the wait?

There’s been a fair amount of work put in, at any rate. Kotaku reports that Rockstar promise, ‘...a number of new features over and above the visual upgrade: new activities, new weapons, new vehicles, additional wildlife, denser traffic, new foliage system and enhanced damage and weather effects. There are also over 100 new songs and mixes across the game's radio stations.’

Yep, you read that right. New foliage. If you’ve ever cruised through Los Santos and thought, y’know what this game needs? More mothereffin’ foliage. Foliage me right up, Rockstar dudes, you’re in luck. We didn’t even know a 'foliage system’ was a thing. What a time to be alive.

In summation, it looks like the same deal as usual: certainly a definitive edition for new owners, but nothing that makes a second buy ball-bustingly essential. Still, if your interest is piqued, feast your eyes on this latest PS4-powered trailer. It has mimes in.

Behold the Skimpy Stealthiness of the ‘Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain’ Pre-TGS Teaser (VIDEO)

Pre-TGS- Metal Gear Solid V- The Phantom Pain
This makes even Cammy look overdressed.

Thursday through Sunday, the Tokyo Game Show hits Japan like several tons of nerdly goodness. Because... that’s just what it is. It’s like E3, but with more creepy panty vending machines and questionable porn.

Which, y’know, sounds like a damn good time to us.

Anywho, this is the home of video games, right here. You’d expect all the ball-busting heavy hitters to be there, flaunting their wares like celebtastic getting out of taxis without their undercrackers on. And that’s just what we’re getting. One of the biggest names in games is already doing so, and the show isn’t even underway yet.

Here’s a quick little pre-TGS teaser from Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain. It’s forty seconds of the skimpiest stealth suit you ever saw, and a demonstration of a fancy new infiltration trick. Gone are the days of Solid Snake dicking about in a locker or dropping 'gentleman’s publications’ to distract the guards. We can now just turn effing invisible whenever we damn please.

Except we can’t, but this is rather funky regardless. Check out this fleeting Quiet showcase above.

Via Destructoid.

‘Resident Evil: Revelations 2’ First Trailer is Suitably Ghastly-Ass (VIDEO)

Resident Evil Revelations 2 Trailer
'Evil is watching you.' With... this huge weird eye.

Once again, we have some revelations about these Revelations. Hold on to your butts, it’s revelationception. Or something.

Earlier this week, we learned that Resident Evil: Revelations 2 will star Claire Redfield and Moira Burton (daughter of franchise favorite and dumbass ginger beard enthusiast Barry). It’ll be presented in episodes, and available later as a full balls-out retail release. Just to maximize Capcom’s dollartacular, naturally.

While furious nerds bitch fruitlessly at the Internet about these shenanigans, we have a first trailer to ogle. It has creepy, dingy-ass prisons, supercuts of various acts of blood-leaky violence, and that creepy eyeball thing. Because, as we all know, if you aren’t cruising slowly down a dimly-lit corridor, it’s not horror.

It’s certainly a hands/hatchet-on style of survival horror. Much like The Evil Within, to which the above bears an incredible resemblence. Almost enough to have lawyers polishing their stompy jackboots of gonad-grinding law-justice. Nevertheless, if this is survival horror with actual survival and horror in it, we’re sold.

Via Destructoid.