Tease Yourself with New ‘The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies’ Teaser Trailer

Check out this angry war goblin, y'all...

It seems like only yesterday we were wondering if a Hobbit trilogy would ever get made. Initial development started as far back as 2006, and in 2008 Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh, and Philippa Boyens brought in Guillermo del Toro to help write the script and direct. However, only two years after that del Toro was out because he didn't want to put his entire career on hold while waiting for a financially hobbled MGM to officially greenlight the project, which was then supposed to be just two films.

Of course, not long after del Toro backed out, Jackson step in and agreed to direct. And what do you know? Warner Bros. signed on to distribute the picture and the project was greenlit. Now it's 2014, production is all wrapped up, the final instalment of the now-trilogy is in the can, and the first teaser trailer has been released to the masses (after premiering at Comic-Con, of course).

As far as teaser trailers go, this one is pretty good, too. The whole thing is set to "The Edge of Night," a.k.a. the song that one hobbit sings all eerie-like in The Return of the King, and basically the gist is that a big ass war is coming.

Oh, and there's a glimpse of the Eye of Sauron. But I'm not going to tell you where, because I want you to watch the whole thing and be surprised.

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies hits theaters December 17, 2014.

Behold the Spangly New Cutscenes of the Revamped ‘Halo 2’ (VIDEO)

Halo 2 Anniversary
But what about that freaking cliffhanger?

If you know your Halotastic, you’re surely aware of the upcoming Master Chief Collection. This Xbox One exclusive will bundle the four main series titles in a fancy-ass package, and is one that many of us are rabidly anticipating. Some fans have actually contracted rabies just thinking about it. That’s some freaking enthusiasm, right there.

Now, HDification doesn’t always mean much. Recently, everything from Final Fantasy to Gears of War has done it. We’ve had Ultimate Editions and remasters and such coming out of our asses. Sometimes, as with Blu Rays, you can’t damn well tell what’s changed.

But no so here. Take off your cynical hat, put your pants back on and take a look at Halo 2. This is the Anniversary edition, for the game’s tenth birthday, and here’s the first cinematic we’ve seen from it. Check it out, in all its dramatically-prettyfied glory.

Big ol’ exploding spaceships, questionable eyebrows and inhuman sons of bitches have never looked so good.

Lizzy Caplan Topless, Lela Loren Topless, Tori Black Topless and Making the Sexy in The Boob Tube Roundup (VIDEO)


Well, hello there Lizzy Caplan bare boobtastic in extended topless, and booty rocking bare bottom scenes from Masters of Sex. I can remember a time not so long ago when I was dying to see Lizzy Caplan topless. Now I'm dying from seeing her topless. The latter surely is better. I applaud Lizzy and her thespianic bravery where so many of her American acting colleagues have failed to deliver on funbag exhibiting scenes because they're just too dainty. Boo I say to you. But bravo to Lizzy.

Joining Lizzy and her perfect pair of pert puppies in the Boob Tube Roundup is the cray hot Lela Loren in another steamy sex from Power and Tori Black in quite the topless making of the sexy pornoriffic moment from the second season of Ray Donovan. A trio of quite memorably small screen big guns this week in the BTR. Ladies, let's keep them coming. Enjoy.

In Honor of ‘Alien: Isolation,’ Sigourney Weaver and Co Remember How Badass ‘Alien’ Was (VIDEO)

Alien Isolation- Cast Talk
Yep, this guy's back. Spoiler: he's still pissed.

And, y’know, still is. As though that needed clarifying.

So, yes. You may have heard that Alien: Isolation pledges to be true to its movieland roots. You may also excuse us for saying: BS. How many times have we heard that in the past, only to be presented with a big ol’ steaming turd come launch? Licensed games don’t have a craptacular reputation for nothing.

But wait! Let’s not don our cynical hats and start bitching just yet. This could --could-- be an exception, right here.

Isolation, the upcoming survival horror from The Creative Assembly, really does have authenticity on its side. We’ve seen the special edition DLC, which will bring bonus missions you play as Ripley, Parker or Dallas themselves. They’ll be voiced by the original actors, looking a little droopier and wrinklier than they did in 1979 (who the hell doesn’t?) but still as badass as ever.

Here’s Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt and the others featured, discussing just how important the game will be to the world they remember.

Watch the Unrated Trailer for ‘Hot Tub Time Machine 2,’ Because It Is Awesome

It's just like 'Terminator'

The whole first minute of the new Hot Tub Time Machine 2 red band trailer does nothing but recap the first movie and make a bunch of jokes based its ending. And it's funny. Then it transitions to a setup of the sequel, and at that point you get a little disappointed, because it's then that you realize, wait, where's John Cusack? But then you see they're in the not-so-dystopian future, and you're like, okay, this is cool. And then you see boobs—honest to goodness boobs—and you're like, wow, this movie looks soooo good.

Of course, it may not be good. Like I just alluded to, there's no Cusack. He couldn't do the sequel because of a "scheduling conflict," which sounds like a phoney excuse since this movie probably took about a week and a half to film. But it still has Craig Robinson, Rob Corddry, Clark Duke, and Chevy Chase from the first movie, plus Adam Scott (Parks and Recreation) as Cusack's future son.

And did I mention the boobs?

Hot Tub Time Machine 2 hits theaters Christmas Day, 2014.

Cameron Diaz Booty and Jessica Brown Findlay Bare Boobtastic Highlight the Mr. Skin Minute (VIDEO)


I don't know about where you live, but where I park my car slash mobile bungalow, it's damn hot this week. Sweltering hot. When it's time for air conditioned relief, my mind always turns to house siting for one of my friends with a big screen TV to catch up on movie recommendations from the good and horny folks at Mr. Skin. They know what's nekkid onscreen and they're not afraid to tell you.

This week's Mr. Skin Minute includes Cameron Diaz nipple slips in Gangs of New York and Vanilla Sky, as well as her panties-clad booty shots in Sex Tape, Olivia Williams flashing right boob in Sabotage now on Blu-Ray, and Jessica Brown Findlay of Downton Abbey fame flashing her perfectly ripe udders in the mini-series Labyrinth currently out on Blue-Ray.

Absolutely positively certainly do not neglect yourself, get a Mr. Skin membership discounted for EgoReaders. The Mr. Skin service is pure joy packed into digital format.

Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: Playing ‘Doom’ at the Top of a Freaking Mountain, Just Because (VIDEO)

Whacked- Mountain LAN Party
Only the second-highest mountain in the US? Ah, it'll do.

Some things are just inherently manly. Die Hard movie marathons. Lumberjacks. The bravado of ignoring the instructions and attempting to assemble that cabinet yourself, because it’s effing simple and you know what you’re doing.

When the drawers don’t close properly and a stray nail jabs you in the ass as you pass by, it’s not even slightly your fault. Manufacturing error, right there.

Anywho, in the case of games, Doom is as man-tastic as it gets. After all, to descend into Hell’s anus armed only with a pistol, you need gonads the size of Jupiter. So, how do we reach the very pinnacle of manliness? We take Doom on a death-defying romp up a goddamn mountain, that’s how.

Behold Tek Syndicate, and their record-breaking 'highest altitude LAN party ever' atop Mount Elbert. It was pretty half-assed with regards to battery life, as Mother Nature hasn’t got her shit together and fitted her mountains with power outlets yet, but still. One thing’s for sure, this is the most fancy-ass tech you’ll see on a mountainside today. That’s an Ego-guarantee.

Via Kotaku.