Lumbering.

Well, that's it. How can you possibly top last week's Red Wedding slaughterfest episode, 'The Rains of Castamere'. It just couldn't be done. What we got last night instead, was a whole lot of walking, talking, and philosophizing. Oh, and a dick in box. Literally.

This episode was pretty much all ends-consolidating: The Young Wolf is dead and the remaining Starks are pretty well scattered. Winter is still coming and it would seem that the War of the Five Kings is almost wrapped-up. What have we got to think about now?  Edmure Tully is still married to the daughter of the guy who murdered all of his friends and bannermen (those are going to be some awkward Sunday dinners); Theon Greyjoy is now a soprano; and Arya Stark is going to be so unflinchingly badass we just can't handle it. Three dragons in flight and a whole bunch of liberated slaves? Yes, please.

What might happen next season? First off, someone needs introduce King Joffrey to Ramsay Snow, like, immediately. And two, We need the folks of Westeros to start getting amorous again, we haven't seen any comfortable skin in like two episodes. Oh, and we're seriously, we're probably off sausages for a while. You understand, all those nitrates and phallic imagery and whatnot.

Now, what are we going to do until Breaking Bad starts? Go outside? Maybe.

MORE SKIN, FEWER BOXES!

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We've got a long journey ahead of us before The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug comes to theaters in December. Two whole seasons, even. When it finally does hit, there will be a fresh female face among the citizens of Middle-earth in the form of an elf warrior played by Evangeline Lilly. Entertainment Weekly released an exclusive sneak peak of her new, somewhat sexy fighting lady elf, Tauriel.

Wait. What? There aren't any female warrior elves in The Hobbit. Yeah, they've totally added a new character that never appeared in the books and basically only serves to sell more toys to girls. Which puts us nerds in the horns of a dilemma. On the one hand, we do love us some Evangeline Lilly. On the other hand, why do they gotta mess with a classic?

Fine, Peter Jackson, pad your pockets, man. We're going to see whatever you put up there; especially if it involves sexy lady-elves.

EVANGELINE LILLY SOMETIMES PLAYS A SEXY BUNNY, TOO

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Maybe.

No one doubts that zombies are freaking terrifying. And they're getting more so. Since George Romero's Night of the Living Dead came out in 1968 and popularized the whole undead hordes horror genre, zombies have been getting more complex and interesting. It used to be that their chief skill was the mindless swarm. As the years go by, they seem to be getting stronger, more capable of coordinating their efforts, and of course, much faster.

With World War Z coming out this summer, we may be seeing the most coordinated and sophisticated undead yet. But, are they the fastest? Let's look at the competition.

If you happen to belong to the so-called cult that's been following Happy Endings for the last three television seasons, I've got some bad news for you. Actually, I've got bad news, then worse news, and then maybe, possibly, some good news. But maybe not.

First the bad: as you may already be aware, ABC decided to cancel the plucky cult sitcom last month. However, not long after that Sony TV started negations to get the show picked up by the USA network, and for a while it was looking pretty good.

Now the worse news: the show is not getting picked up by the USA network—at least, not according to some "sources" who spoke (or emailed or texted or tweeted) to E! News. Apparently the basic cable network has opted to pass on quality original programming in order to focus on WWE Monday Night Raw and re-runs of Monk.

Obviously, this is bad news for fans of Happy Endings, which stars Casey Wilson, Damon Wayans Jr., Elisha Cuthbert, Adam Pally, Eliza Coupe, and Zachary Knighton. However, there is still one last glimmer of hope. Reports now indicate that Sony is looking for a new "non-network" home for the show somewhere out there on the interwebs—like Amazon or Netflix. So we'll all have to stay tuned. In the meantime, please enjoy this montage of the best of Alex Kerkovich—i.e., Elisha Cuthbert. Hurray for ditzy blondes!

Everyone seems to be crapping their collective pants about last night's Game of Thrones, so much so that the entire series has been completely destroyed for some people. Well, we've read the books ten times, so we know exactly what happens to everyone from here on out. Since all of the jerk's you know will ruin it for you on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, and whatever, we figured we'd do you a solid and ruin the finale for you one full week in advance. Here's a preview of next week's episode:

Tyrion Lannister joins a traveling minstrel version of Men Without Hats. With all of our favorite Westerosi folks losing their guts, heads, and limbs, why not compromise the littlest Lannister's last shred of dignity by making him do 'The Safety Dance' in the GOT version of the USO. Sansa Stark follows Tyrion on the road selling merch and looking sullen; she doesn't get any less boring, which, we suppose isn't much of a spoiler. Arya Stark finds the Lord of Light during a sojourn in the woods and starts sending long-winded Raven-mail to everyone she knows about her fierce right-wing political beliefs. Daenerys Targaryen rides a dragon and Theon Greyjoy's voice gets a little higher. Everyone else dies. Any questions?

For all you Starbuck fanboys who have been waiting for years to see Katee Sackhoff take it all off, your wait will be over in September. As part of her very likely ass-kicking role in the third Riddick installment (creatively titled Riddick), Sackhoff told 411 Mania that this will officially be her first onscreen nudity. The hardest part of that, she told them, was politely asking her dad:

I hung up on David Twohy after telling him, 'I need to call my Dad and ask if I can do it first.' I was 31 years old, it's not like I was a child (laughing). I called my Dad and told him and he said, 'How much?' I said, '3-5 seconds of side boob' and then he goes, 'Which boob?' and I said, 'I don't know, hopefully the good one.'

As far we're concerned, Katee, they're both the good one, so there's nothing to worry about there. We're more worried about whether or not Riddick will just be Pitch Black all over again.  At least we now have one good reason to go see it.

KATEE SACKHOFF ALL TANGLED UP WITH TRICIA HELFER

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Kevin Smith has been asking the most important Superman questions of our generation. He was the first to publicly enter the 'How does Superman safely have sex with Lois Lane?' debate back in Mallrats (Answer: Kryptonite Condom, duh).

Well, in conjunction with Gillette, Man of Steel marketing folks have been entertaining a very pressing, very urgent question of their fans, 'How does Superman shave?' Obviously, since trailers and press material show him with that lumberjack / sea-captain face-tickler in once scene, and the fresh-faced son of Krypton in others, it's gotta happen at some point. Right?

Quite obviously, Kevin Smith has the best theory. Hint: It's not a Kryptonite condom. (The most honest / scientific one we've seen? Bill Nye's answer!)

It's opening day for Fast & Furious 6 and all signs point to box office gold. And according to early reviews, worthy gold as the film delivers exactly what is promises - fast cars, hot girls, and lots of stunts involving the two. It's not aiming too high, but, hey, we're not such high minded people here. Crash, boom, boobs. I'll take that.

We had a chance to send one of our intrepid reporters off to London to interview Michelle Rodriguez before the Britty premiere of the film and asked her a bunch of random stuff, but our favorite response came from the answer to what Michelle might tell Michelle of the very first Fast & Furious if she could go back in time. Kind of cool. And very very Michelle Rodriguez. Enjoy.

MICHELLE OFTEN GOES A LITTLE ROUGH CUT WHEN IN BIKINIS

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Vin Diesel is perhaps as well-known for his eloquence as he is for his ant-man arm guns. During Fast and Furious 6's whirlwind press tour, Diesel gave Moviefone the most insightful, carefully constructed, and in-depth review of his new film. Here it is, in all of its erudition:

It's the best movie in the world and it's a love story and it's baller status.

Boom. The best movie in the world. Ever. Forget Empire Strikes Back, forget Citizen Kane, forget John Ford's entire catalog, or anything else. He does seem closer to the mark on it's baller status -- everything points to FF6 being an outstanding pre-summer blockbuster. It has an effin' tank chase and a car blasting out the front of a cargo plane -- that's baller. Albeit, I have no idea actually what baller means. I'm from the suburbs

Fast and Furious 6 opens tomorrow. It's a love story, guys...a love story.

VIN AND MICHELLE BECAME QUITE HOT AND HEAVY DURING FF1 FILMING

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The red band trailer for We're the Millers went live today and -- wait -- is that an inflated ball sack!?

Yes. Yes it is. No worries, though, there's plenty of bare Jennifer Aniston to make up for it. There there, take a look at that sweet, stripping former Friend. All better now? Good.

Minus the swollen scrote, this is the best trailer we've seen all year. All of it's awesomeness rests on the fact that Aniston is a stripper impersonating a MILF who ends up stripping...or something. Funny people are in it being funny. A killer whale eats a dolphin. And Aniston is about to hook up with a lady in a tent. Fine, twist our arms, we're watching it again.

MORE BARE ANISTON? YES, PLEASE

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It's a bad day to be Kal-El. And if you don't know who "Kal-El" is, congratulations on losing your virginity at a respectable age.

In the latest trailer for Man of Steel, General Zod (Michael Shannon) is really putting the screws to planet Earth, threatening to destroy our world unless humanity turns over Superman. Well, on behalf of humanity, I'd just like to say that Superman is Clark Kent, and we really didn't like him that much anyway, so feel free to take him and be on your way. Also, could you make me the ruler of Australia, please? I have an affinity for beachfront property.

Fast & Furious 6 opens in theaters a couple days from now. We will soon find out if this is, indeed,the fastest and furious-est of them all.  More importantly, all trailers, featurettes, tweets, facebook posts and grandma's bingo-buzz about the movie points to an epic-as-shit ladyfight between real-life MMA fighter Gina Carano and actress-who-played-a-boxer-once Michelle Rodriguez. Now we want to know, who's going to win?

The Case for Carano. She was trained from birth by monks, deep in the mountains of Shaolin. No, seriously though, she fought other people as her full time job until 2009. She's an actual real mixed martial artist for whom acting was originally her moonlighting gig.Doesn't seem to be much else we need to add, does there? We want to see some body-rubbing choke-holds and her sexy sexy ground game.

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The Case for Rodriguez. She was in Girlfight? Sexy as she is and as tough as she looks, nothing about her says she's going to physically, er, womanhandle Gina Carano. But that's not counting real life grit. Make no mistake, Michelle Rodriguez is goddamn fierce --  her 18 day stint in the slammer must have honed her hand-to-hand skills. If shivs are involved, Rodriguez wins hands-down. Again, more ground game, ladies.

Bryan Singer tweeted a totally boner-inducing picture of Jennifer Lawrence in blue body paint yesterday from the set of X-Men: Days of Future Past. Lawrence is reprising her X-Men: First Class role as the young Mystique and she somehow looks that much better than before. While there's nothing technically visible, it sure does, uh, stoke the imagination.

As we stare at Singer's tweeted photo, we begin to wonder, who is sexiest in blue? Jennifer Lawrence? Zoe Saldana? Rebecca Romijn? Smurfette? It's probably too soon to tell.

X-Men: Days of Future Past comes theaters too far into the future, July 18, 2014.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE WITHOUT ANY MAKEUP, YEP, STILL HOT

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A new Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues trailer dropped over the weekend. In just over one minute of tease, we're already so stoked to love lamp all over again.

Things we learned from the trailer: Paul Rudd's Brian Fantana got a new cologne (pure snake venom), David Koechner's Champ Kind is still boozed-up, and Steve Carrell's Brick is still special, very very special. Oh, and apparently, Brick's not allowed to be unsupervised around children. Will Ferrell? Let's just say that Ron's hair looks better than bush league.

THE FABULOUS FOURSOME INJURED AND FILMING IN NYC

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WILL FERRELL AS RON BURGUNDY IN ONE SWEET ASS SUIT

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DRAKE AND CHRISTINA APPLEGATE GETTING DOWN ON 'ANCHORMAN 2'

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Yes, it does. Star Trek Into Darkness is finally here. All your Klingon-Human sexual fantasies are about to be satisfied. Okay, maybe not those so much. But Kirk, Spock. McCoy, the bad guy pretending he's not the future Khan. It's all there. And it looks pretty damn amazing. So, yeah, I will be among the geek boys seeing this movie in the next 24 hours. Resistance is futile.

We had the privilege of snagging some interviews with J.J. Abrams and the cast of Star Trek Into Darkness in London this past week. Not really a privilege since the Brits won't let me onto their shores until I renounce my claim to being Kate Middleton's baby daddy. Still, we snuck somebody else in. Take a look at some very brief snippets from our journalistic endeavor. Then, hire a dog sitter for your embarrassing Chow and head off to see Star Trek.

Don't be the last nerd in the world to fulfill his destiny!

The stars of the upcoming comedy This is the End, really want you to like them on Facebook.  We mean, REALLY want you to like them. In fact, the more Facebook likes that the movie receives, the crazier things that stars Seth Rogen, James Franco, Danny McBride and Jay Baruchel will do for your viewing pleasure.

Want to Danny wax Seth's back? Get them more likes on Facebook.  Want to see Jay and Danny share a strand of pasta just like in Lady and the Tramp? Then get them more likes on Facebook. 

Watch the video above, then get over to the official This is the End Facebook page to start liking these poor souls.

And don't forget to see This is the End when it opens in theaters June 12th.

Okay, so they won't be exactly nekkid, but if you're going to the movies this weekend, you will most definitely still have an assortment of celebrity sextastic to see onscreen, including Selena Gomez in Aftershock, Isla Fisher in Gatsby, and Kerry Washington in Yet Another Tyler Perry Movie.

It's all good. And air-conditioned. Look for me in the back row. But two seat separation please. In the least. Enjoy.

That's it. I'm in.

Anchorman 2 is scheduled for a December 20th release date.

Director Roland Emmerich never passes up a chance to bring the catastrophic destruction of world famous landmarks to the silver screen. The guy has directed such films as Independence Day, Godzilla, The Day After Tomorrow, and of course the apocalypse film to end all apocalypse films, 2012. So when the folks at Sony Pictures asked him if he'd like to direct a new film called White House Down, he didn't care that the film starred Jamie Foxx, Channing Tatum, and Maggie Gyllenhaal. All Emmerich wanted to know was would he get to blow up the United States Capitol Building.

The answer to that question, according to the new trailer released this week, is an emphatic yes. And, for good measure, Emmerich also got to blow up the White House and Air Force One. So this trailer is basically every terrorist's wet dream.

Of course, if any terrorists do head out to the cineplex on June 28 to see the film thinking they're going to see America lose, they'll be very disappointed. You can bet your life that Tatum and Foxx defeat the bad guys in the end.