Gear

Run 007, Run: Traxedo is a Cross Between a Tux and a Track Suit

What do you get when you combine a tuxedo with a track suit? The Traxedo, that's what! James Bond probably wouldn't be caught dead in one, but it's still pretty awesome in its own right. In case you haven't figured it out yet, the Traxedo is essentially just a tracksuit made to look like a tux. It comes in loud colors and is available in seven designs: The Dutchman, Classic, Bubble, Irish, Flamingo, Red Dragon, and Gentleman.

Wear 'em when you feel like being the talk of Central Park, or gift 'em to a sporty buddy who has a good sense of humor.

Get It: $60

For Your Nekkid Pics and Sex Tapes: Self-Destructing SecureDrives

Cloud storage and USB drives aren't as secure as you think. You know what happened with the iCloud with the fairly-recent celebrity nude pics scandal. And if you've ever lost a flash drive, then you know how easy it becomes for other people to access the files in it. So if you're really serious (read: paranoid) about your privacy and the security of your data (aka nekkid pics, sex tapes, and other stuff you don't ever want other people to see), then here's something to consider: Self-Destructing SecureDrives.

These SecureDrives are built in with a ton of security features, including self-encryption and a variety of programmable self-triggers that, when set off, will render the device useless (and your files inaccessible.) There's even a feature that lets you destroy everything on the drive by sending it a text message.

Check It Out: $TBA

 

See More, Do More: Seek Thermal Phone Camera

See more with your phone than what your mere eyes can see with the Seek Thermal Phone Camera. It's a small device that you can plug right into your phone's Lightning port (if you have an iPhone) or micro USB port (which works for most other smartphones.) The Seek camera sensor is packed with over 32,000 thermal pixels to create a visible image of whatever it is your phone is currently pointed at--even when you're in the dark. This makes checking out leaks or finding Fido way easier and faster.

Get It: $199

Merry Halloween: The Complete Collection Limited Deluxe Edition

Not a fan of Halloween parties? If you're too lazy to dress up, then host your very own anti-Halloween party and invite your best buds over for a movie marathon, playing nothing but the movies from the Halloween franchise for hours on end. This would also make it the perfect time to give your collection a makeover and get one that's fit to display.

This limited edition deluxe Blu-ray set includes all 10 features, plus loads of extra and behind-the-scenes content, including a never-released producer's cut of the sixth movie.

Get It: $110+

Cannabis Chocolate: A Cocoa Kinda High

Nothing beats getting high on a piece of chocolate. A bar or two of Kiva Confections Cannabis Chocolate will do exactly just that. They're available in milk chocolate or dark chocolate variants because some men like it dark--I do, don't you? Each of these bars is formulated with standardized doses of THC that range from 60 mg to 180 mg per bar. They're also available in a bunch of hard-to-resist flavors, including vanilla chai, mint irish cream, tangerine dark chocolate, and blackberry.

Now this is how you make chocolate, Hershey.

Get It: $9+

Flippin’ Awesome: ‘How’s My Driving’ Car Sticker

Sticking this onto the back of your car is like giving a constant FU to anyone and everyone who questions your driving on the road. It gives them a number to call when they disapprove of your driving...not.

Just make sure you're not a road hog and avoid driving like an asshat when you have this stuck onto your car, because you might have actual sh't smeared all over your car when you get back. Traffic enforcers probably won't it very funny, either, but hey, it's your car and your driving. Your friends will probably love it though, for what it's worth.

Get It: $4

Because Yo Ass is Rich: Hundred Dollar Bill Tissues

Is your ass worth a hundred bucks? Probably not, but who cares if you've got a roll or two of these Hundred Dollar Bill tissues? You'll feel richer than Bill Gates every time you wipe that sh't from your behind with giant hundred dollar bills. Not that you can use them to buy the new iPhone 6...but hey, it's your crapper and you can tissue what you want to. Bazinga!

P.S. Sorry, Benjamin!

Get It: $5