Do You Happen to Like Hot Chicks Playing Soccer? (Err, Football, But Still Hot Chicks)

O JOGO BONITO!, the hot younger sister of Playboy Magazine is prepping for World Cup 2014 by shooting a bunch of wicked hot Playmates of the past few years playing soccer. Well, they’re kind of mostly bending over and preening and toying with balls, but would you have it any other way?

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, there’s nothing hotter than sextastic alluring ladies in unis playing sports. Well, okay, them coming up to ask me for a rubdown after the game because I’ve stuffed the real team trainer in a closet and I’m pretending to be helpful is perhaps a notch hotter.

Check out the ridiculously hot Playmates slideshow for O Jogo Bonito (the beautiful game) from and the video below. I guarantee you will come to more fully appreciate the world’s most popular sport. Enjoy.

Condoms, Skinny Dipping, Porn Sites and… Sexy Vegetables: The Best of the Banned Super Bowl Commercials (VIDEO)

Super Bowl Ads Header
Caressing vegetables in lingerie? Sound like a winner.

That was quite a game, gentlemen. Whether you’re now striding about with dollar bills and mantacular animal magnetism protruding from your pockets like Hugh Hefner, or bet several years’ rent and are forced to share a shit-stained alley with that wacky syphilitic funster Hobo Joe, several kinds of holy shit converged at the stadium yesterday.

Whether you won, lost or simply came for the wonderment of Beyonce’s boobitude momentarily disrupting the electrical systems in the vicinity like a potent nipply forcefield (a sight which many of us across the country ‘came for’ in an all-too-literal sense), you know this. The nation’s anuses were clenched as the 49ers mounted their gallant comeback, only for Edgar Allan Poe’s boys to finally prevail.

In summation, then: copious ballistic missiles full of pure tension to the gonads, a tit-ilating wardrobe malfunction from an acclaimed Texan songstress… what more could us dudely dudes ask for? (Well, victory, in some cases, but we shan’t get pernickety there.) Super Bowl commercials depicting sex, amateur porn movies, skinny dipping, roasting actual goddamn hairy-assed kittens in ovens and other such chicanery, that’s what.


Florida’s Patric Young Will Dunk on His Teammates if Necessary

Florida's Patric Young tip jam on teammate's dome
You Can't Get Called For a Foul Against Your Teammate

True dunkers don’t care who is in their way when they’re ready to throw one down. Florida junior Patric Young showed that last night when teammate Will Yeguete went up for an offensive rebound against Texas A&M. Problem for Yeguete is that he didn’t get up high enough and Young came flying in to jam home the rebound. At least he could have yelled ‘same’ or something.

Hey, it happens.

via ESPN

88 Foot Buzzer Beaters Are Not Something You See Every Day, But Today You Will

Idaho State's Chris Hansen nails 88 footer
That's a Long Distance Three

The buzzer beating shot is one of the more dramatic things that can happen in basketball, whether it’s to win a game or send a team to halftime with a smile and maybe some momentum. That’s Idaho State’s Chris Hansen in the video, launching a shot from just in front of the opposite basket as time was running out in the first of the Idaho State and Sacramento State game last night.

Turns out the shot did indeed matter, as ISU was down eleven and the three cut the halftime lead to just eight. The Bengals would go on to win the game by one on a shot with just four seconds to go.

h/t Cosby Sweaters

Manti Te’o Shared a Ton of Details About his Non-Existent Girlfriend with Sports Ilustrated

The ongoing Manti Te’o scandal just keeps getting more twisted and weird. One of the biggest outlets that ran with the dead girlfriend story, who we now know never existed, was Sports Illustrated. Pete Thamel interviewed multiple people for his profile on Te’o, including the linebacker himself. Thamel said he had some red flags pop up about the supposed girlfriend, Lennay Kekua, but that he wrote around them.

Now, Thamel has posted the entire transcript of his interview with Te’o. Here are some of the more interesting parts, but it’s definitely worth a full read on your own over at SI. These are the quotes that seem the weirdest, considering Te’o says he’s the victim of hoax. But if that’s true, how does he know all of these details or why would he embellish so much?

TE’O: On April 28 [my girlfriend] got in a bad accident and was hit by a drunk driver. Ever since April 28 she’s been in the hospital. She recovered from the accident but we were always wondering why some days she would be doing well and the next day she would be down in the dumps and complaining about pain in her back. It was then that we found out she had leukemia.

SI: Sorry to cut you off, just trying to get the timetable right.

TE’O: It was the beginning of July. She and I, man, we had this relationship where it was just amazing. With all that time on her hands in the hospital, she was never thinking about herself and what was hurting here. She was always thinking about others. She went on anD wrote a letter to me before every game. Things that she would want me to know. So yeah.

SI: Did she send them to you?

TE’O: She had them all on her iPad and her family found [them]. Her family, what they would do is they would read it to me. And then they’ll send it to me in a picture.

Later, Te’o went into extreme detail about ‘her’ and how they met and much, much more.

SI: How did you meet her?

TE’O: We met just, ummmm, just she knew my cousin. And kind of saw me there so. Just kind of regular.

SI: How long were you dating? I know that can be a complicated question.

TE’O: Oct. 15 was the official date. Of last year. I’ve known her for four years. So we’ve been friends.

SI: So you dated for about a year.

TE’O: Yeah.

SI: Just want to make sure I have her name right.

TE’O: Lennay Kekua.

SI: She has a Hawaiian sounding name. Is she from there?

TE’O: Her real name is actually Melelengei, but her friends couldn’t say that so they just called her Lennay.

SI: What did she do?

TE’O: She actually just graduated from Stanford. She worked at Clark’s Construction Company, I think. She replaced her dad after her dad passed.

SI: When did her dad pass?

TE’O: In October. She took that mantle for him.

So the person or people who may have been playing this hoax provided all that backstory? That would be pretty deep, but I suppose it’s possible. Or, maybe after Te’o realized how this sob story could help him, he continued to build the narrative because why not? If it helps get a Heisman, who gets hurt? If he knew he was being hoaxed, then he’s just as much to blame as the people behind the hoax. Here’s where it gets even deeper when ‘Lennay’s’ twin brother texted the news of her ‘death’ to Te’o.

SI: What was her older brother’s name?

TE’O: Koa.

SI: What did he have to tell you?

TE’O: I kind of felt it. He was just crying and crying and crying. I just had to calm him down. I was like, “You have to speak clearly, I need to know what’s going on.” That’s when he told me, Lala is gone. That’s what they call her. They call her Lala.

SI: How did you feel in the locker room when you got the news?

TE’O: I just felt that it just turned black. Things got dark. I have never felt that way before. And I don’t know. I couldn’t control anything. I was just, pure, just I don’t even know the feeling. I can’t even describe it. I just broke down.

Pretty emotional for a guy who never physically met her, as he now says, though he originally said they met in person when Notre Dame played Stanford in California in 2009 and their eyes locked and they shook hands. So later they talk about ‘Lennay’ being in the hospital.

SI: She couldn’t communicate?

No. She could only breathe. One of the miraculous things was when I talked to her and she would hear my voice her breathing would pick up. Like quickly, and then she would start crying. But her breathing would quicken, and she would start crying. So her brother was in the room with the nurse. They were monitoring her. She said, “Who is she on the phone with?” Her boyfriend. She was like, “That’s amazing. She doesn’t do that with anybody else.” So that happened. And then she flatlined and we were losing her.

The day I went home, that was the day they were going to pull it. They were saying their goodbyes and all that. I said, “Babe, I’m never going to say goodbye to you. If you really want to go, she really missed her dad, so I said, “If you want to go, be with dad, go. Just know that I love you very, very much.” I had this very positive feeling that everything was going to be OK. I landed in Hawaii. By the time I said my goodbyes. Not my goodbyes, my I love you, I’ll see you later, that kind of thing, I jumped on the airplane to go to Hawaii. They were scheduled to pull the plug while I was in the air.

So right when I landed, I was expecting to get a voicemail saying she’s gone. So I landed and I had a voicemail from her brother saying, “Brother, call me back right now.” So you can imagine what’s going through my head. I was like, “What am I going to do? How am I going to take this?’”And so I called him back, the doctor came in and he saw something and he wants to try some treatment on her to see if it works. From there she slowly started to get better. Slowly. Eventually she came out of her coma and she started having memory problems and she couldn’t remember because of the accident. That’s how much damage she had to her frontal lobe. She had memory problems. I was actually the first person that she talked to. She was breathing, breathing. When I talked to her, I would say, “Babe, do you know who this is?” I knew she knew who it was because her breathing would pick up. I was like, “Relax, chill. Breathe slowly. Breathe slowly.” And then, that was when she first started to speak was that conversation. I was like, “Babe, I love you. I love you.” Very slightly she said, “I love you.”

SI: Was that right when you got back?

TE’O: Then she started to make progress.

SI: This is unbelievable.

Yeah, you could say that. The whole transcript is at Sports Illustrated’s website and it makes for some good, uncomfortable reading.

Catch Up on the Manti Te’o Scandal Through Taiwanese Animation

Manti Te'o scandal gets animated
Wait, is That Leprechaun Real?

NMA TV, the purveyors of animated versions of big news stories, didn’t waste anytime getting their team to crank out a version of the Manti Te’o fake dead never existed girlfriend scandal. Deadspin broke the story yesterday that the girlfriend, whom Te’o supposedly had a relationship with up until her death days before the Michigan State game, never existed.

Notre Dame says that Te’o is the victim of some cruel hoax players, while some speculate that Te’o was involved thanks to his ongoing statements and stories about her during their ‘relationship.’ It’s confusing as hell and nobody is sure who exactly is to be believed yet.

If you’re not familiar with the story, then welcome out of the rock you’ve been living under. Now watch this video so you can sort of catch up.

J.J. Hickson Dunked on Alonzo Gee So Bad, Gee Could Only Shake His Head

Portland's J.J. Hickson makes a highlight out of Alonzo Gee
Oh, Gee!

When the dunkee can only shake his head and smirk after the dunker unloads on him, you know it was good. Portland’s J.J. Hickson left Cleveland’s Alonzo Gee in that position last night and it was just filthy.

Two minutes into the second half of the Cavs’ surprising win in Portland, the Blazers were out on the break with Hickson trailing in the middle. Gee gets in front of of Hickson just as he’s catching the ball and Gee has no time to set his feet and really get some power in his jump. The product of that bad timing is Gee barely getting off the ground and Hickson just throwing it down with two hands right in Gee’s face. At least Gee wasn’t too worse for the wear.